money - where does it all go?

[denimdouble]

Hi,

So before I start, I know that we are fortunate and that so many people have it harder. I am just fed up of everything being so expensive and that so much of our money is tied up with bills and essential spends.

We both work hard in decent jobs and our joint take home pay is £7400. Today I have calculated that after every last thing that we have to pay we are left with about £1800 each month. This is essentially the money that we can use for holidays, days out, fun stuff etc.

We do have some debt that we are paying off, however this will end in about 18 months so this will make things easier. Our mortgage ends in 47 months which will make a huge difference to our lives.

I don't want to sound ungrateful or tone deaf as I am not, however it's awful to see that so much of our income is needed just to stay afloat.

Anyone else feel that same?

Same here

It is frustrating but you seem to be organised and will be in a different position once you are debt free and mortgage free. Just be patient you are nearly there.

That's a lot of fun there
Thats all I can say, politely

But it's guaranteed that there will be a lot of choice in your 'essential' spending.

Your house will be larger and in a more expensive area than average.

Your bills will be higher than average because of the above.

Your grocery spend will be more than average.

Your childcare costs are likely to be more than average because you can afford to choose nicer/more convenient options than many.

Your DCs activities etc will cost more than average.

Your car, clothes, household goods, furnishings and many other essentials, will be more than average.

All fine if you can afford it, but don't kid yourself that you have no choice in what your essentials cost.

Because if we said what we really thought we’d probably get banned. What planet are you on love?

I will be 67 when my mortgage is paid and my spare money for holidays and fun is about £120 a month. I'm really happy. I'd like to earn more though.

Op you need to check out Rebel Finance School and the Financial Independence Retire Early movement.

Impossible to comment without seeing your outgoings really.

Being so close to paying off your mortgage at a young age suggests a choice to spend a lot on that though.

You are not going to get much sympathy when you have ‘fun’ money of ‘only’ over £20,000.

Okaaaaay

If you have £1800 a month for 'fun' money - why haven't you paid off the debt?

I really hope it's interest free debt because if it isn't - that is really stupid.

Crikey - I've just seen that some of your debt was from maternity leave, but you're late 40s? Something isn't adding up unless you've had children very late on etc.

I don't actually believe this thread but if its true you've missed buying one essential.....a pair of glasses.

We have a higher income than you so i'm not bitter, but seriously you are nearly debt and mortfage free with 1800 spends a month - what more do you WANT? Whats the end game here?

Some of your problem is that you spent some of today's money yesterday ('silly irresponsible spending').

It is all too easy to have 'lifestyle creep' when your income goes up. You hardly notice it. Buying slightly better in the supermarket, having a slightly more expensive holiday, having the next grade up car/phone/whatever.

Yes, life can be more expensive but some of that will be because of small choices you are making every day.

Havent rtft but probably yanbu

Its well documented uk has terrible living standards 20th out of 22 countries and Wages have been artificially suppressed for 2 decades now.

Our mortgage is 2.5k and our child care is3.5k, bills and food are £1k so we need over 8k pm to stand still which is shocking

I do agree with others (assuming you are 30s/40s) that if you have the mortgage paid by 50 years old you are in a much better position than many. I will be 60 eeeek!

It really is expensive. I’ve just encourage my daughters to do the Rebel Finance Course (it’s free) so they understand finances before they start properly earning. But I’ve joined too and I’ve already learnt a lot. I think you may find it helpful op. Also a good spending tracker like snoop could help. (Money hub are t open to new accounts sadly).

We earn similar @denimdouble heres our budget, sometimes we spend a small bit more/less in some areas (that’s what the miscellaneous buffer is for)
You. Need to budget out and list your income and outgoings.
Housing
Mortgage: €1900

Utilities
Electricity €200
Waste collection: €30
Broadband & TV: €70
Mobile phones x3: €60
Total Utilities: €360

Food & Groceries
Groceries & household food: €600
Dining out / takeaways: €300
Total Food and groceries:

Transportation
Fuel: €250
Car insurance & tax: €150
Maintenance & NCT: €100
Public transport / Parking: €20
Total Transport: €520

Education & Kids
School books, uniforms, fees: €50
Activities, sports, clubs: €50
Pocket money / treats: €60
Total Kids & Education: €150

Entertainment & Lifestyle
Family outings, hobbies, gifts: €200
Subscriptions, books, etc.: €60
Total Entertainment: €260

Savings & Miscellaneous
Emergency fund / Savings: €2,000
Holidays (monthly allocation): €500
Clothing: €200
Miscellaneous buffer: €200
Total Savings & Misc.: €3,010

TOTAL MONTHLY SPENDING: €7,000

sometimes we earn slightly more if we do OT but the 7k is basic. I also don’t include child benefit. That’s separate.

I’m sorry OP but saying you ‘only’ have £1800 fun money each month is a bit tone deaf. You are in a privileged position.

I have about the same as you and while yes, money doesn’t seem to go as far as it did, I have a nice quality of life and I’m able to help others too. It’s all about perspective.

Exactly what I came to post. Give your head a wobble op and get in the real world.

But it’s all as a result of your choices , that’s true so you don’t need to give details. Make different choices.

It is easy to get caught up with ideas of what you 'ought' to be able to afford at a certain income level or age.

I know I did. I once complained to my DH that all my colleagues were going on amazing holidays yet we were only just making ends meet.

He sensibly pointed out that none of my colleagues had DCs (we have 3) and that all were in relationships where both were earning (DH was SAHP).

Of course he was right (annoying!). Something I hadn't learned at that stage was contentment.

Now I am realising that it is a huge privilege to be able to say 'this is enough'. Across the next few years we will be retiring. It won't be a luxury retirement, no cruises, but it will be great to have more time for our hobbies and to spend more time with family.

Talking about it ‘disappearing’ is a nonsense. You need to do a comprehensive breakdown of your outgoings and see where it’s going. It might be that one of you is gambling some of ur away. Maybe you are sticking more of ur than you thought in investments or pensions. Only you can see the receipts.

OP, you’re getting a hard time. I can relate, essential bills and food are so high now that the remaining amount of a reasonable salary keeps reducing, when will it stop? I do feel for people that are on lower salaries who won’t have the extra that you/we have but it doesn’t stop me looking at my bank account and not be as happy as I was several years ago.

I’m normally very sympathetic on these threads but you have a non-problem. You have a healthy amount of disposable income and you will have paid off your hefty mortgage in your mid 50s. That is an exceptionally fortunate position to be in.

You are probably just mentally adjusting to the fact that normal life is just really expensive now and you can’t live as carelessly as you want.

Op is not the ‘squeezed middle’ and I think those are the people you are trying to feel sorry for in your post. The gross salary going into that house per annum is around 150k - that’s a decent amount to be able to afford your bills if you aren’t living beyond your means. The key info is missing here as only Op knows what her outgoings are.

Same 😔