At wits end with son who doesn't know what to do about university

[CanterburyBells]

He's due to go to our local uni in September to do Environmental Science after taking a gap year. He only got D at A Level in the subject but got enough UCAS points to get in. He's a keen athlete and would love to be a professional athlete. But the reality is that may not happen. He's got a serious girlfriend and definitely doesn't want to go to any uni other than our 2 local ones.

He doesn't know if he wants to go to uni, or what career he wants. Time is running out. I'm at a loss as to how to help

Why is time running out? Could he not apply again in the future?

If his heart isnt in it, it might not go well x

what does he hope to do with an environmental science degree? does he see himself indoors or outdoors?

Can he get a track scholarship for an American uni perhaps?

He’s still so young! He’s got loads of time. If he’s not sure he really wants to go to uni, would he be better getting a job? Uni is so expensive and if he hates it and drops out or fails his exams he’s got a lot of debt and nothing to show for it. If he’s really into his sport could he look at coaching etc?

You are being a tad dramatic. He's 19. While as a mum you might want to know what's happening, it's his life, he needs to get himself together and make a decision. If that's uni, fine. If it's not, he needs to do something else instead. But time is not "running out", as long as he's earning enough to pay his way, he's got lots of time and not rushing into anything is not a bad idea if he's unsure.

I agree.

He should only go to university if he really wants to. If his heart isn't in it he will probably end up dropping out and will waste a year or two's student finance. It's far better to get a job then go to university when he decides for himself that he really wants to go.

He has to want to do the course. It should be his choice otherwise he’s unlikely to stick at it. He’s still so young and time isn’t running out.

University really isn't the best option for everyone. It sounds like he's not very academic. The rewards of a degree like that based on UCAS points are unlikely to be worth the huge student loan debt.
Has he looked at an apprenticeship or similar?

My sister-in-law son didn't like school and left at 16. She forced him to get a Tesco job despite the boy's parents earning lots of money. The boy finally worked out what he wanted to study film making age 25. He found the uni and applied himself. He is now working in the film industry which is incredibly competitive. I think your son would be better off exploring life for now

Further to my earlier message... I did an Access to Higher Education course age 42 and qualified from a Russell Group University age 45. There are so many options for learning later in life

I dont understand why time is running out. He's not that bothered about uni so pull out for this year. Get a job, it doesn't matter what tbh, whilst he has a think. Jobs a goodun

If he doesn’t know, then maybe he’s applied for the wrong course. Perhaps he should try a sports science course, or sports management, or sports osteopathy etc?

Is he just keen, or good as well? Can he train to be a coach and get paid for this?

I wouldn't recommend university if his heart isn't in it. It's expensive and demanding even when your heart is in it.

He has time to decide. He may not have much time with the elite athlete decision tho. How does he decide about this?

Can he take some time out and do something that would get him working in professional sports/athletics?

Time isn't running out at 19! My niece started her degree last year - aged 31 and from what she has said she is far from the oldest on the course.

Time running out as in it's June and uni starts in a few months

If he isn't interested in going....he isn't interested in going.
He can go to university at any age or never at all.
In my opinion going to university without a specific aim (ie a desired career at the end) is only for those who are very very rich.
He should get a job and join some sports clubs.

Why waste your money, assuming you’ll be funding this?

He has to want to do it. If not, he gets a job. Himself. And you make it clear that you aren’t paying for him to doss around, if he wants to eat he has to work.

Absolutely no point in getting loads of debt doing a university course if he doesn't know why he is doing it. I'd encourage him to get a job, pursue his sports and see what he wants to do in a couple of years

Time is running out for his peer group if compared side by side but he can do uni at any age and it's best not accrue all the debt if it's not his true wish.

He is an adult Now. Let Him get a job or follow his own path.

I do understand as my dd dropped out of sixth form and I was where you are now. Desperate to get her back on the "normal path ". But you know what. There isn't a normal path Life has bumps and challenges and what better time to navigate them than when your young and can bounce back that when your in 60k debt and in a career that isn't really you.

I didn't phrase it well. I meant he's due to start the degree this autumn and he still doesn't know whether to go or not, or to switch course. That's what I meant by time running out. He's not good at independent studying (has dyslexia).

lots of students / young people have this wobble.

I would suggest he explores alternatives. Checks out apprenticeships. Then makes a decision based on his options.

Best he defers and maybe just gets a job or apprenticeship whilst deciding if he even wants or needs uni. What about a sports coaching apprenticeship?

He has a job with a landscape gardening company. He's national standard in his sport and is aiming to improve there.

What apprenticeships are available based on sport ? He doesn't want to move away from his local area due to girlfriend, family etc

He would be better waiting until he’s 100% sure. Might be good to work for a year then decide.