At wits end with son who doesn't know what to do about university

[CanterburyBells]

He's due to go to our local uni in September to do Environmental Science after taking a gap year. He only got D at A Level in the subject but got enough UCAS points to get in. He's a keen athlete and would love to be a professional athlete. But the reality is that may not happen. He's got a serious girlfriend and definitely doesn't want to go to any uni other than our 2 local ones.

He doesn't know if he wants to go to uni, or what career he wants. Time is running out. I'm at a loss as to how to help

He's got a serious girlfriend and definitely doesn't want to go to any uni other than our 2 local ones

I'll be honest....the thing which would be bothering me the most , as a Mum, is the fact that he's limiting his life choices at such a young age because of a relationship

Thinking outside of the box, he could get a sports scholarship and study/play sports in America. But sadly he won't consider this type of exciting choice, I assume.

What do you mean by using up tuition fee years? Sorry I'm a bit clueless. It was free when I went (I'm old!)

Time is not running out - he has the rest of his life!

Let him get a job for a while to sort his head out. There is no point going to the expense of uni if he is not sure what he wants any more. It's not a big deal - it is normal.

Students receive tuition fees and maintenance loan for the duration of their course (usualy three years) plus an extra year, so up to four years worth for most courses. I believe that this would be up to five years worth for four year courses.

If he wastes a year's worth of tuition fees by dropping out after one year then he will only be entitled to three years worth of tuition fees and maintenance loan.

Did he ever look at any agricultural colleges? There might be one near you. They offer tertiary education in a very wide rss as age of subjects they might interest him and might complement his landscape gardening work.

But most athletes have short careers and have to find something to do afterwards. Did he not think of applying to somewhere like Loughborough Uni or does he only want to be local.
Or would he be good enough to apply for a sports scholarship to an American uni (friends football mad daughter is out there just now on one).

What about an advanced apprenticeship where they pay for him to go to uni as part of the apprenticeship? Those can be really great.

Don’t put any pressure on him to go to uni now. Why can’t he focus on his sport and stay in his current job for the time being? Students do better when they really want to study a subject - this isn’t something every young person will know at 18-19!

This is what I mean, @CanterburyBells
So if you do an undergraduate degree and drop out after 2 years, you can't then get another student loan to cover tuition fees for a different undergraduate degree. I'm not sure if you can get some years but not all, but it's not well-publicised.
I also saw what you said about the messaging from school/college. They need to be changing what they say and putting out the no wrong path rhetoric much sooner than results day. Being a productive happy human is the important thing. I hope your lad gets sorted and is happy in his choice.

And very competitive to get one.

@CanterburyBells give your da a nudge to research his options. At this age he has lots of options.

Combining sport with landscape- golf course management?

I do agree with this but there aren’t enough apprenticeships for all the 16-18s that want one. And especially at degree apprenticeship level.

I agree. Degree apprenticeships are extremely competitive, and I doubt the OP's son would get on to one with his grades.

If he struggles to be motivated to work independently he would find a degree apprenticeship even more difficult than a normal degree.

I didn't go to uni until I was late 20s. I tried a few jobs and found the field I wanted to work in. I'm really happy I did it that way as I was able to get a student loan through student finance, a couple of people on the course had to get bank loans as they had already completed a degree straight from A Levels so couldn't get student finance for another degree course. If he isn't sure what career he wants he is probably best not going to uni.

Sports science

who'd want their kid going to the States at the moment for university?!

Frustrates me that school are still doing this

Absolutely agree. But Trump won't be there for ever and the application procedure takes a while

Neither of mine went to university. One did an apprenticeship, the other worked and both have progressed, and as young adults, have both got good jobs above minimum wage.

You say he wants to stay local. In that case, look at every major local company website and see what jobs and careers are available. Or if you’re willing to post your town, we can have a look.

With a grade D in the subject, university is probably not the best option. You mention a professional athlete - what level is he at and how is he progressing this option?

Was the D a blip or what was predicted? What other A-levels did he do? Did he get any help at school with his dyslexia?

Is there a deadline for him to withdraw without incurring any costs?

There seems high risk (with his grade and motivation) that if he starts he’ll incur debt, drop out and depending on timing have higher costs if he later decided to go to university.

If the sport has realistic prospects of success and he is motivated and already doing lots to pursue that path, giving that a go could be good. If the odds of success, perhaps not. Some career advice could be helpful.

When DD applied for university the first time around she was offered a degree course that she wasn't interested in, then declined on A level results day without incurring any costs, so he can decline any time he wants.

@CanterburyBells has he applied for student finance?

This was my son last year and I remember being really worried for him which seems silly to me now.
He ended up deferring his uni place, he didn’t do this until the end of August, to take a year out and reassess.
He has used the time to work and get his driving licence. He’s working on a building site earning more than I ever have, he’s learning so much and has made the decision to work in construction management. He’s getting some experience and learning as much as he possibly can and plans to do an HND whilst working.
My son is paying rent and running his car and still able to save £2000+ a month and plans to buy his first property by the age of 21.

To sum up, I’ve never seen my son happier, all his friends went to uni but he travels to see them and they come home often. They’re also currently on their 3rd European city break this year having the time of their lives!

My friend’s son wasn’t sure about uni, worked as a lifeguard at a local leisure centre and started a sports science degree last September aged 24. He is doing his sport at uni level and loving it, still living at home & doing his old job around his uni course.

Another friend’s son started when he was 21 and ended up with a first & winning an academic prize, something he’d never have done straight from school.

Tell him not to worry, keep working on his athletics & work hard at his day job. Academics can wait until he’s actively wanting to study.

Academics can wait until he’s actively wanting to study.

This is key ^^

DD took a couple of gap years between undergrad and post grad. She worked for two years and saved up for going to university. By the time she started her post grad course she was more than ready to go back to studying and is enjoying her post grad more than her undergrad.

Part of it is that she is doing something that she really wants to do and part of it is that she is more mature.