Making friends later in life not sporty

[Enko]

I have found as my children have slowly (almost) flown the nest many of my friends have moved. 2 close friends have sadly died.

Ive realised I would like a bigger friend circle.

I do not want to take up a sport before that gets suggested. (I am not sporty and the times Ive tried this it has been unpleasant)I also do not want to take on a volunteer role. My job is hectic and time consuming and the time I have off I want for myself.

Ive additionally not got a lot of spare cash so I cant afford to go off on courses.

I have tried local book groups and while they are entertaining they have not let to any friendships. (I continue to attened though as it is somewhere to go once a month w other people)

I looked at gofriendly app but noone near me (In SE not the middle of nowhere)

I am not a regular.church goer but do go at times.

Local WI mostly meets during the day and I cant manage that due to work.

Where else can I look.

I miss having a friend (group) to meet for a coffee. Or someone to have a what's app chat with. I like crafting and crochet and knit. Can also embroider but again stuff like that near me is all during the day.

I am mid 50s seems a long time to go before I have daytimes off.

Am I asking too much

Ps I loathe gardening please dont suggest that direction

Knitting you say?
See if one of these groups meets in person near you.
https://www.prima.co.uk/craft/knitting-patterns/a43364107/knit-charity-baby/

To elaborate, there was a group like that a 45 minute drive away from me & the quality of what I could make wasn't good enough for them... but you might be fine.

Choir if you can sing?

Knit n natter or similar ? If any are held on weekends or evenings..

Join a choir!

I used to sing in a Choir but Ive found as I got older my voice has changed and Im not sounding good. I.cant hit certain notes anymore. Not found any knit and natters near me in evenings (one 9 miles away but it was not friendly when I tried aka noone spoke to me and were not welcoming when I treid to join their chat) I go to a knitting club once a month a half hour drive away but I would like somewhere closer.

@lljkk unsure about that as it means I would actually have to finish a procject not just keep starting new ones😁 I am better with crochet in truth.. I am also confused about where to find where they meet?

I joined a Community Choir. It’s changed my life. I have more friends now than ever before. The main demographic in our choir is female aged 57.

Evening classes in whatever interests you?
Family history or local history society?
Drama group? You could do costumes etc if you don't want to act.
Bellringing, if there's a group near you?

Knitting group? I know there are lots out there!

U3A. Not sure if they have rules about age, but a lot of groups have a variety of activities, some have purely social ie meetings for lunch and chat.

You could consider taking 1/2 day annual leave to attend an activity that interests you.

Bridge?

Even if your voice isn't what it used to be, choir is still your best bet. They're extremely social and they meet regularly.

Book club? Walking group (I know you said no sports but that isn’t a sport per se)? On that same note, dancing - Ceroc or similar? That seems to have worked for lots of people I know.

I also joined a Line Dancing group, huge fun.

Wild swimming is a great community.

Or yoga with meditation - lots of those have things like sound baths and social gatherings and the like.

I would love to go back to bridge but its expensive and I've not played for years no partner. But bridge/games is a good idea..

@PiggieWig wild swimming is my idea of hell sorry I loathe being cold.

I have looked into yoga but it is to expensive. I will stick to the 1 class a week my gym does.

@maddiemookins16mum I dont fancy line dancing

@Boopear I like walking but I have bad planctar facilitis so not a good idea right now but perhaps later once it has healed again.

@whackamole666 I have never heard of U3A but appears there is one by me so researching this one.

Thank you all some ideas and thank you for not suggesting sports.

I hate sporting type hobbies so I feel you!
I'm in a similar boat in that my best friends have moved away or I've sadly lost touch with them.
I hate SM as well which doesn't help.

I love gardening but it's not really a sociable hobby, I just do it alone. I can't imagine others wanting to watch me plant geraniums?

I wish women could just go to bars and pubs and venues and just start chatting to eachother and make new friends. Like people used to back in the day to get a romantic partner. Obviously minus the cheesy chat up lines!

It sounds daft I know but I'd love some new friends and I wish people would just be open to chatting to strangers a bit more! 😄

Could you get into board games? I don't mean things like Monopoly. There are literally hundreds and hundreds, and there is everything from long strategy games, to pretty games involving tile laying, to co-op games.

One of my best friends started a board game group (I was already into them). We now have about 30 members and meet twice a week alongside other social things. Board games literally force you to interact as you're sat around a table together. I've made some great friends! We have people ranging from age 18-retirement age. Everyone is welcome. It's honestly a very fun hobby, and most people are enthusiasts and love teaching beginners.

It's a bit niche but worth a try. See if there's one in your local area.

Hopefully you don't mind nerds btw 😂

I will 100% look into boardgames near to me. I like that idea a lot

@BobbyBiscuits ita complex isnt it.

I love gardening but it's not really a sociable hobby, I just do it alone. I can't imagine others wanting to watch me plant geraniums?

is there a community garden or garden restoration project near you? Or a hospice or similar that could use volunteer gardeners?

I wish women could just go to bars and pubs and venues and just start chatting to eachother and make new friends.

Any pubs that do quiz nights or poetry evenings or similar?

I have seen solo women in Wetherspoons. The thing to do seems to be to take a book or some writing or a laptop, so you don't look as if you're on the pull, but can start a conversation if the opportunity arises. (And you can buy one coffee and get free refills so it needn't be an expensive evening.)

I would look into groups that do organised holidays for singles in your age group and plan to go on one of those. There might be some that do weekend only trips that you could start with as an intro.

My area has a lot of facebook groups for women who want to make friends. One is a business so the admin organises events that you can go to for a cost. The others are just casual and members suggest get togethers of all kinds ranging from meals out to pub quizes to walks to days out. Can you see if you have anything like that locally?

I totally get you and so glad you listed all the activities not to offer.....I'm in the same boat at 47, don't feel old enough to do nothing and really miss my girlie's since I moved to Wales. I love knitting and crafting, work in the day, not sporty and do like cooking....same boat really but your braver then me with book club! Xx

I know you said no sport but pickleball is bloody brilliant fun and you meet a really wide array of people. And you don't even have to be very good!

My local U3A group has board games ie Scrabble, mah Jong, also bridge (not a board game I know but I think you mentioned it). Also U3A encourages members to start new groups to widen the options available.

The book club is ok people are welcoming and happy to chat about the book. What it doesn't seem to offer is that next step to friendship. Also I have to admit to have read a fair few books I didnt enjoy nor would have ever chosen. I skipped last month as they picked a sifi book and that is a nogo for me I.know Idont enjoy that genre.

First time walking in is nerve wrecking. However the organisers are usually friendly and welcoming.

Im still married and would want any hiliday with dh. We have not been in 2 years. Also frankly a holiday is way out of budget at the moment (dh has been without a job for 2 years now and a white 60 something male is not a great place to get a job in his industry -we try to remain hopeful)

Generally, don't miss book club meetings because you didn't enjoy the book. I often don't read books that don't interest me, it's not school. Book clubs are for people who want to be social as well as read.

I'm Surrey but possibly no where near you. I love chrochet too. I have made friends via adult Ed course but I see you dint want to say for a course.