WWYD I'm coming into money and I'm getting tting flack.

[MutedMavis]

NC for this but long time poster.
I'm coming into a significant amount of money through a share sale.
I've told a couple of friends. They've been incredibly bitchy about it.
Part of the deal is I have to stay on with the company for three years. They cautioned me it's too much at my age (I'm younger than them by 3/6 years). The money will give me lots of freedom and my husband can retire. We've both been ill.

When I met these ladies we lived in a very large house (with extended family) but we sold it due to the crash. We've had some really hard times due to caring responsibilities and redundancies.
We are going to buy a bigger house which will elicit comments. I can cope with the lotto jokes but it's nastier than that.
I'm bloody dreading it. I had years of being the under dog and it seems like I need to stay there.
Fwiw one is a titled lady with millions, the other a successful business man's wife, neither are poor. Both married a long time, both with high performing kids. We met at the school gates.
I feel like the joy has been sucked out of this. WWYD? I'm not sure I'm brave enough to say fuck off.

Find better friends

Find nicer friends and in future do NOT tell people about your finances - including family. Nothing good will come of it - as you’re found - and the other scenario is ‘friends’ asking you for money/loans/dropping hints at how broke they are.

They’re not your friends, they sound awful.

Congratulations.

Don't tell them, or anyone else, any more about your finances.

It's none of their business. Do Etsy you B want to do with the money and enjoy it.

they sound dreadful
not worth your energy

I agree, they aren’t friends. They are not nice to you. Telling people you are going to get a significant amount of money is not a good topic of conversation really.

Why did you tell them?

I never discuss money with anyone other than DH and our financial consultant.

Ignore. Enjoy your good fortune. But don’t feel the need to explain it to anyone. I can’t believe anyone would think it appropriate to comment in that manner.

You really shouldn't have told your friends. It only causes resentment. Best to play these things down. You only need to look at posts on here where people say they have £10k a month spare.

I was second viewing a house after our lunch. They both asked how I could afford it.
I didn't tell them how much the deal was but they expressed disapproval of the asking price compared to my current home.

Yep, first reply.

I’d have told them to mind their own business. They don’t sound like proper friends.

It’s never a good idea to tell anyone how much money you have. People will guess if you move to a lovely house, of course, but no-one has a right to know. And it rarely ends well if you tell them.

In real life, we invested in some stuff a few years ago, and we now have a significant amount of money in the bank. It is all earmarked for the children’s education, pensions, and similar. No one knows this except us. Not even our children know; then need to earn their own way in life, and not expect to have everything provided for them.

Thank you. I don't have any close family anymore. They've all passed away.
The family I do have took me for a lot of money back in the noughties. I've not told them.
Tbf my best friend knows and is very happy for me. She said if anyone asks tell them you won the lotto!
The property details fell out of my bag.
My mum and dad would have been chuffed as it's a deal I've stuck, I'm not riding on anyone else's coat tails.

“I've told a couple of friends. They've been incredibly bitchy about it.”

Then they’re not proper friends, are they? Real friends rejoice in your good fortune when times are good, and commiserate and lend a helping hand when times are hard. You need some friends who like you for yourself, and anyone who resents you for having a bit of luck is most assuredly not a friend.

You have cheered me up ladies, thank you.

Initially i though "Agree. with find better friends and dont talk money."

Presumably then the shares are a life changing amount like 1m +

Being able to sell shares now but stay on 3 years is a bit unorthodox though. What does the contract say about if they make you redundant or if there's pay back if you exit early due to illness? Is there any clawback?
If so it might be wise not to spend full amount yet.

If not though crack on and enjoy!

Tell them to get stuffed!
How rude to ask how you’re going to afford a house! These are not friends OP. Get rid of them!

Who cares what other people think ? Let them be bitchy and jealous. Just keep your business to yourself

Unless the shares are sold and the money is in your bank, it’s not a done deal and anything could happen so never tell anything until AFTER it’s done - and even then I wouldn’t tell anyone other than DH, not even the DC until we had decided what was best for us to do with it.

good luck enjoying it with your DH and making new, less selfish friends! Before you buy the big house, just sit on it for a while and get all the expert financial advice you can re pension age and savings etc if you’re not already sorted for that.

@AlorsTimeForWine it is a life changing amount.
One part now, the other more significant money in three years. Golden hand cuffs, non compete. Caveat for illness as I have been very ill. My family are solicitors so I have good advice.

true caring friends would be happy for you.

If they were friends, they would not have been green eyed trolls. Ditch them and that will make them even more jealous as they won’t know/see what you buy. I’m sure they sound like the type to be backstabbing you and telling everyone anyway.

Proper friends wouldn't do this. They'd be genuinely pleased for you. I'd reassess because it sounds as if they have seen you as 'lesser' and want to keep you in that box so that they can feel better about themselves.

As you have discovered these women are not your friends. It's amazing the toxicity that appears in some people when you have financial success.

I made the mistake of accepting help from a 'friend' who accompanied me to court when my ex-husband decided to go back on our original divorce settlement. It was two years of absolute hell thinking I was going to lose my house. It turned out well in the end leading to a final settlement and financial freedom. Since then she has made some nasty judgemental comments about me including what her husband also said. Big mistake allowing her to see the financials. I thought she was supporting me. I would have been delighted for her if it was the other way.

The result of this is we are no longer friends. I find her envy and resentment unforgivable. It's awkward as she's part of a hobby group. I'm polite but aloof. This is how you will have to treat those women going forward if you're not able to detach from them completely. Indifference although it hurts underneath.