Toddler outraged at my birthday

[morepickles]

Anyone else had this?! DD is just shy of two and it was my birthday today. We've had a few family birthdays recently so she's got a pretty good idea of how they work now. Whenever other birthdays have been coming up she's started to ask about presents, cake, candles etc. and generally been quite excited. But today she was absolutely raging 😅 DH was working and I was off with her (non-working day) so we weren't going to do anything elaborate but she still cried when DH asked if she wanted to give me my present, cried when she saw the cake ("no - take candles off"), and kept saying "take cards down" and "mummy's birthday all done".

Tried to keep things normal otherwise but she was really acting up. Is this just what it's like with young DC? I'm not massively bothered - I'm not one for a big fuss - but it does feel a bit crap to have spent the day essentially being shouted/cried at and that's it for another year!

Actually I remember my DD being like this at around two! I think it’s normal.

Have any of the recent family birthdays been at your house or have you left the house to go and visit them? She might have been overwhelmed with all the different bits in the house and change of what's normal? Sometimes my DS is like that, one minute it's absolutely fine for us to eat meals together, the next he's screaming "mammy no move, go go NOOO" 😅

I think it’s an overwhelm of emotion. A friend has a video where all day their toddler had been so excited to give daddy his birthday cake and then when they finally brought it out he became absolutely hysterical and devastated about the whole thing. In the end it took three attempts over three days to bring the cake out without upset. They watch the a video back now and laugh.

Happy birthday by the way!

Happy birthday! Kids are weird. One moment my DD is happy about something and the next she is throwing a tantrum about it.

Do think she might be struggling with the idea of being a separate person from you? I think at that age you’re still very much trying to make sense of not being the same person as your mum and a birthday that’s happening to you and not her may be highlighting this and may feel overwhelming.
My first born age 4 sobbed on his 2 year old brother’s birthday that’s it was the worst day of his life because DS2 was getting presents and attention. I think that’s a very different developmental phase though.

Yeah she's two and after a run of birthdays realised she doesn't get the attention! Hopefully you can make up for it when your partner isn't working 😃

Happy birthday 🥳

My 3yo hated her own birthday this year! Refused to acknowledge it at all in the morning, even with the promise of presents. Came around to cake in the afternoon, but we were under strict instructions not to sing happy birthday!

I think that it's pretty normal behaviour. I can recall this conversation from twenty years ago:

"It's my Happy Birthday today, Smallpeep." (Obviously I didn't call him Smallpeep but I'm not going to put his name on here.)
"Hapsy Burtsday?"
"Yes, Happy Birthday to me. My special day. My party day."
"No, no, no. Hapsy Burtsday me. Hapsy Burtsday the Smallpeep!" dramatic hand on heart gesture and refering to himself in the third person like a true diva.
"Hapsy Burtsday everybody!" Moment of clarity when he grasps that altruism may go over better.
"It's not Christmas. Christmas is for everybody. Well, it's Hapsy Burtsday Jesus, I suppose...but..."
"NO! NO! NO!"

(Carries on for quite some time.)

The big question was, of course, who was Burt? And when do we celebrate Burt's Day?

I'm sorry but that's hilarious

'take candles off'

This too will pass op

2 yr olds can be difficult, they can’t always make sense of things and also can’t express their feelings.

I hope you enjoy your birthday 🎂

Sorry but I have laughed too 🙈 mummy’s birthday all done 🤣
Never thought I would say this but I miss the toddler years 😂
I remember getting a hair cut (about 2 inches cut off) and my 3yr old dd took one look at me and said ‘No. Go away and put your hair back on’ 😂

Happy Birthday and in years to come she can owe you for this

I have a video of DS1 running away crying and hiding behind a bush to avoid being presented with his second birthday cake! (COVID times so outdoors celebration). Overwhelm, I think... Possibly also combined with a bit of not understanding why you're celebrating and not her? But yes, pretty normal, I'd say.

Sounds like a toddler.

They have all the big feelings of an adult but with very limited ability to process, contextualize or express them. Sometimes it's simply overwhelming.

One of the things that helps me is to remember that the arousal emotions - excitement, fear, exhilaration, anger, restlessness, etc - are all very close together and tend to both amplify each other and be difficult to distinguish. It's why people find some scary things like rollercoasters or doing karaoke in front of a crowd fun. (The same goes on the opposite end of the spectrum - sadness, boredom, relaxation, disappointment tend to feel similar). Toddlers really struggle to separate these, so excitement can very quickly become panic and anger. They'll sometimes try control their own arousal level in a very blunt, unskilled way, so they sometimes respond to too much excitement (good or bad) by wanting everything to be returned to their routine, safe setting, or crying and shutting down, or refusing to engage.

I love this song...

Sorry to hear you’ve had a disappointing day but misery loves company and as a mum of a 2 and a half year old who is also VERY emotional at the moment it did make me laugh a little bit!

We are going through a “mine”, “my do it” stage - and seem to swing from deliriously happy to devastated in 10 seconds. They are funny little things, aren’t they 🤣 Mine pushed me into the kitchen and told me to cook chicken yesterday (actually!). It’s an age thing and I remind myself of that daily - I’ve got a lovely, thoughtful, responsible 8 year old now and I believe he went through a similar thing 😂

Happy birthday!

@Pomegranatemum my DD did this too. She wanted to stay 2 forever. She was distraught and inconsolable about her 3rd birthday 😂

Hilarious! Truly toddlers are self-centred little pricks sometimes 🤣

@PuppiesProzacProsecco oh thank goodness it’s not just my DD! We discovered by bedtime on her birthday that part of the ‘problem’ with being 3 was that she liked the ‘half’ bit of being “2 and a half”. She still hates being 3 so we just humour her and say she’s 3 and a half (she’s not), which she can just about deal with.

I don't think they have much control over their actions under 3. She might grow up to be caring and make a fuss of you on your birthday.

Two year olds aren't the most rational of people 😁 It's just one of those weird phases little kids go through. Happy birthday 🎂 🎈

Thank you all for making me smile! I also had to laugh when she was saying it to be honest. There were some real gems in there today. My DM told her she was going to be two soon and she kept proudly repeating: "her name have two birthdays!". Little sods - lucky they're cute enough 😉

My eldest is like this. It's awful. Last year on my birthday my husband got me some clothes, she screamed & tantrummed for about an hour because she didnt get any, and does it for everyone else's birthday. Hopefully this year she won't as shes older now but I'm sure she will be upset about something. Usually day to day she's an angel!! Also talks about her birthday every. Single. Day...

It's normal! When my DS was 2 and it was my birthday I picked him up from nursery early so we could hang out and he was such a little monkey because I essentually took him away from his friends before their tea. He was raging with me. It ruined it! This year I kept him in nursery and went to a spa with a friend instead! Everyone was happy

One of mine was over the moon about their 3rd birthday but it was all too much and when the cake was brought out they just started screaming in rage and desolation, ordered everyone present to stop singing and no more birthday party because... the cake was a circle. The cake they had picked out themselves from the bakery that morning. Now their older siblings respond to any mention of cake in our household/family with "but is it a circle?" and we all laugh, but at the time I remember feeling so disappointed in how the day ended.

Toddlerdom is a rollercoaster.

It's not called the Terrible Twos for nothing OP! There is a long list of things that infuriate two years olds - brace yourself.