A bit worried about this trip with BF

[Bloodtuch]

We've been away on a number if weekend breaks, but never long holiday.

We're doing 10 days, the first part around an interest of his, which I'm looking forward to exploring with him, the second is my choice, something that's been important to me and I'm looking forward to sharing with him.

My bit is hiking. He's very fit and active, but he's not "outdoorsy". Although he's very happy to give things a go, he just hasn't led a life where people do things in the outdoors for fun. This completely alien to me.

Recently we went on a mini hike to see how he got on. Proper cross country and a slight navigation error on my part meant we ended up facing slight adversity! He got very wet feet. For a split second he was properly stroppy, I thought it was all going to go very wrong and there was about to be a tantrum. Something that I'd never seen in him before. (6 months) He recovered quickly though, apologised, and got on with finding a way out in good humour. It was literally a moment.

But, on a real hiking holiday, you are going to have these moments...

Do you think the real him is the stroppy one and he's hiding it well, or the real him is the man who was momentarily distressed, but recovered and returned to his real kind/easy going personality quickly?

I would also lose my shit if I went hiking only because the other person wanted to, ended up a bit lost, and got very wet feet.

I don’t think one moment that’s miserable for all involved defines a person, no.

You never lost your shit at something and mildly overreacted? Wet, cold, and lost up a hill…I’d have lost my shit so hard it would have taken hours to find it again tbh.

Honestly.... I think most people would have a sense of humour failure with sopping wet boots miles from civilisation / a pair of non wet boots

From what you've written he didnt go wild and get aggressive... he expressed frustration which is a pretty normal human response especially as he isnt used to hiking

Maybe he doesn't really want to go hiking? Lots of people who live in cities don't really do outdoorsy stuff. Except maybe go to the park or eat outside a cafe. I would be a bit grumpy if I got soaking wet doing an activity I was being dragooned into that wasn't my type of thing.

I'm surprised by the first two responses TBH, I cam't imagine throwing a strop over a genuine mistake and something as insignificant about getting wet feet. Equally, I wouldn't be doing anything drastic like cancelling the holiday. He obviously realised he overreacted and apologised which is positive. I am sure you will be fine.

ETA people seemed to have decided you have somehow twisted his arm into hiking - that's not how I read it. I assumed you are both choosing an activity but the other person is happy to partake in both cases?

He was there completely willingly. It perhaps wasn't quite what he imagined "a walk" would be, but he wasn't "dragooned" and says he's looking forward to the trip.

Soaking wet feet isn’t insignificant though, when you’re lost on a hike you didn’t really want to go on. It sounds an absolute misery.

Yes, at the time, I was proud of him (if that's the right word) for the way he recovered so quickly.

Why do you think he didn't want to go?

We weren't lost. We could see where we needed to be, we were just a few yards off course.

He’s agreed to go because it’s the OP’s thing but it obviously wouldn’t be his choice of activity. That’s pretty clear from the OP.

Just like I would go with my husband but I’d be slightly gritting my teeth and counting the hours down until we were done and could go for a pint.

Yes, we're both excited to try something new and share the other's passion. Or at least that's how I feel and what he's saying.

You cannot imagine being anything other than miss mary sunshine when you are cold, hungry, tired, wet... probably lost? And at least a few miles from civilisation.... and then on top of that you have the misfortune to walk into a bog and get your feet drenched up to mid calf so you are left with sopping ice cold feet.

I also dont think you should cancel the holiday.

Yards of course does not sound the same situation as faced adversity

If you're proud of how he overcame adversity then what's the issue? No human is utterly zen at all times, and wet feet is hell for most

I think you've imagined a much more epic hike than it was 😂

It ws an afternoon out, for a man much fitter than me, on a glorious day. No one was cold, tired, hungry or lost.

If it was a brief moment of annoyance, then I wouldn’t worry. Soggy feet are horrible.

Has he got decent walking shoes? Unless you fell into a river or stream, his feet shouldn't get wet. The right equipment makes all the difference to a walk. Also, if he’s not used to walking, don’t overdo the distance or duration.

Lastly, is it a case of pre- holiday nerves? I get them all the time.

You cannot imagine being anything other than miss mary sunshine when you are cold, hungry, tired, wet... probably lost?

That is not at all what I said, nor is it what the OP has described 😂

Love how you have decided that he was cold, hungry and tired... where did that come from??

No he doesn't have good shoes. I've tried to explain the need, and I've loaned him some things, but it's quite an investment if it turns out he's never going again.

TBF it wouldn't have helped. The water went over the top of my good boots.

I'm not being ambitious with the plans. He's perfectly fit enough, but not used to rough terrain. I'm basically planning walks DC did while still in infant school 😂

Yes, I'm definitely nervous. Both about spending the time with him and the trip itself.

I’d be stroppy too. Sounds not at all my cup of tea, but if I was going to be good enough to give it a go let me express my frustration and annoyance at doing something I don’t like.

I would be , and have been, like your BF. I hate hiking but realise my DH likes it so try to do it sometimes. But it never seems to turn out quite right and I do have to struggle to hide how pissed off I am . Does t make me a bad person.. just grumpy when uncomfortable etc.

Few tips from my perspective:
Don’t underestimate distances/ difficulty etc. I hate it when DH says it’s a 5 mile walk and it ends up being 6 and a half!
Similarly an easy walk to you might be difficult to him.. make sure you explain terrain to him
Advise him properly on any clothing required. I know he’s not an idiot but the just might not think it through
Obviously plenty for snacks to prevent hanger

I know you will know all this but I think experienced hikers often forget the basics

Have you never had a strop in your entire life?

Yes of course he can show frustration. There was a sign of temper I've never seen before.

At the time, I thought well done you for coping with what was obviously unpleasant for you and returning quickly to your normal lovely self. But since then I've done some overthiking 😂

I love hiking but wet feet put a downer on things for most people. He probably wasn't expecting it and recovered OK so as a one off I'd put it down to not managing his expectations.

I have done a lot of explaining. He's keen to do "long" walks and I've tried to explain that 5/6 miles will feel like 10 on the terrain. He does walk a lot, and thinks nothing of 10 miles in a day, but in London rather than taking the Tube!

I've also tried to explain about layers and how it will (could) feel cold in the mountains, and whilst he's agreeing with me I'm not sure he does understand how different it will be to a walk in the park.

But, I am planning a couple of very short introductory hikes with pub and ice cream stops just like I would for small children and we'll see how we go from there.

Not about having wet feet.