A bit worried about this trip with BF

[Bloodtuch]

We've been away on a number if weekend breaks, but never long holiday.

We're doing 10 days, the first part around an interest of his, which I'm looking forward to exploring with him, the second is my choice, something that's been important to me and I'm looking forward to sharing with him.

My bit is hiking. He's very fit and active, but he's not "outdoorsy". Although he's very happy to give things a go, he just hasn't led a life where people do things in the outdoors for fun. This completely alien to me.

Recently we went on a mini hike to see how he got on. Proper cross country and a slight navigation error on my part meant we ended up facing slight adversity! He got very wet feet. For a split second he was properly stroppy, I thought it was all going to go very wrong and there was about to be a tantrum. Something that I'd never seen in him before. (6 months) He recovered quickly though, apologised, and got on with finding a way out in good humour. It was literally a moment.

But, on a real hiking holiday, you are going to have these moments...

Do you think the real him is the stroppy one and he's hiding it well, or the real him is the man who was momentarily distressed, but recovered and returned to his real kind/easy going personality quickly?

I think it'll be fine OP. I once went on a long hike with DH and at one point I sat down and refused to go any further. I still enjoyed it overall and look back on it fondly. This kind of moment of mild adversity is all part of the fun!

Oh wet feet would be guaranteed strop territory for me 😆

Ok so you only have them from an approved strop list?

People can have hilariously different ideas about what ‘a walk’ can constitute.

A friend of mine, with whom I used to often go for 10 to 12 mile walks, arranged to go for a walk with a mutual friend. Both fit, active women then in their 60s. They drove about forty minutes out of the city, parked on a country road near a little lane running off the road towards a gate with a stile leading to a waymarked circular walk with wonderful views. While my friend was lacing on her boots, the other friend strolled down the lane to the stile, admired the view and returned to the car and sat in, saying ‘That was a nice little walk!’ Then clocked her friend standing, booted and rucksacked, map in hand…😀

They had known one another for about 30 years but never gone on a walk together. I’m not sure they ever have since, either!

Toxic positivity.

People can have strops now and again about things other people wouldn’t care about. If stropping over everything was an almost daily occurrence then that's a different issue.

Would you really have been so unable to cope, seeing as you’d willingly embarked on a hike in the first place? 🫢 Some people’s oversensitivities are fascinating.

In that case you've nothing to worry about! X

What are you reading??? .. I said "I can't imagine throwing a strop over a genuine mistake and something as insignificant about getting wet feet" that's it - I can't imagine . Not "No-one else is allowed to" or any mention of an approved strop list 😂

I wouldn’t worry that this small stop of his is fully
representative of his personality. I am usually a very easy going, bright, gung-ho type character…but a couple of years ago on a weekend away in the country with friends, we went on what was promised as a “flat, scenic, forest to beach walk.” A couple of the girls stayed at the house in the hot tub. I went along as I thought the walk sounded ok. It was a massive,
fuck off hill. I hated it. Went on for hours. I struggled. At one point I threw a minor hissy fit at the organiser and asked where the flat part was. I nearly cried when having to scramble over some rocks. I was not a good person that day. But that doesn’t define my whole personality.

Don’t think I said I wouldn’t be able to cope, no. But I would not be at my best, let’s say. Nobody with soaking wet feet is at their best despite some of the Very Perfect People up thread.

With all your posts it feels like you are drip feeding working yourself up into overthinking this, maybe it is only me but you seem overinvested in this

I would take a step back

Overinvested in what?

Yes, I'm definitely prone to overthinking.

My friend loves a ‘walk’ and we ended up in a similar situation but she loved it and I was really struggling. It was boiling hot and we ended up getting higher and higher. I started to panic a bit (to top it off we were holidaying in a foreign country so had no idea what was going to greet us round every corner). She’s very gung ho and sees every near death experience as an adventure. I’m a pretty easy going person, hence my willingness to go on this walk, (though I would never have initiated it) , but it was a nightmare for me and I wasn’t a happy bunny at all and I was very verbal about it.

Just because you can't ‘imagine’ stropping over wet feet doesn’t mean it’s not a perfectly feasible thing for others to get miserable about. I can’t imagine me getting stroppy because the World Cup Final wasn’t televised, does that mean I should scratch my head in bewilderment that others would? That is usually what ‘I can’t imagine..,’ infers (that it is generally irrational or unreasonable).

I wasn't saying it's infeasible for someone else to get in a strop about it, I was saying I can't imagine getting in a strop about it. I was saying this by way of response to the OP who was worried that perhaps her BF might have overreacted so I was giving my view. For me, getting in a strop about having wet feel would feel like an overreaction (but, just to be clear, I am not saying it's infeasible or incomprehensible that someone else might). If you are the type of person who is more upset about having wet feet than me then you might not be surprised at all, you might think his reaction was unremarkable and not in the slightest bit an overreaction. I assume the OP commented to hear peoples (differing) views.

I'm not a hiker, I enjoy a leisurly stroll in the countryside which I'm aware isn't the same thing & I too would have been pissed off with wet feet & "slight adversity" however like you said he quickly calmed down & now he knows what it's like so don't overthink it & enjoy your holiday