Just started TTC and feeling a bit giddy with the excitement of it all

[TTCGiddy]

This will probably sound a bit daft. I think I am posting just because I need someone to tell me to calm down and give my head a wobble. I've just started trying for a baby with my BF. No one else knows we are even trying. I came off the pill last week and I've only just started tracking ovulation. He is bursting to tell people close to us that we are trying. I wanted to keep it under wraps but now I am having similar thoughts. I am excited about it. Did you tell people that you were trying or did you just wait until you had any actual news to share (as in, actually being pregnant)?

Exciting!

With kindness, I think people don’t really care about TTC. They like to be presented with the tangible fact of a pregnancy (although this will only actually be hugely exciting for parents and possibly v close friends / siblings)

I’d just enjoy this time for the two of you. It’s a special time for a couple and I think it’s nicer if you keep it that way. It’s also really early days. I’m not saying it will, but what if it takes a long time? Do you really want everyone knowing, watching, waiting?

It is exciting. I remember feeling like we were engineering a crazy 'sliding doors' moment in our life (romantic, I know). But, best to wait until you have news. If it takes longer than expected you don't want to keep a running commentary on how it's going.

Don't tell people. Don't tell them when you've chosen a name either until the baby is here. Good luck!

I remember buying the folic acid tablets furtively in Boots

Head on over to the TTC boards and get the chatting out of your system there is my advice! The people there are going to be happy to hear about your cycle, chat about it etc. I personally never told friends or family we were trying as it felt a bit weird to basically discuss my sex life with them.

You want to tell people you're having unprotected sex? So weird

Don't be a dick.

Aw c'mon, it's exciting! I'm done with having babies but I miss the excitement of TTC, especially when it's your first. I loved the TTC threads.

Aww exciting! It's a very lovely time, pretty special and just for you two. I'd agree with pp and keep it to yourselves- much more relaxing that way. Enjoy 😉

It is exciting for you OP, escpecially at the beginning. The trouble is, what if it drags on a bit? And having announced to everyone that you are TTCing, you will get constant questions.

What if you're period's come, and you're feeling a bit down, and people keep asking how it's going, or watching like a hawk to see if you're drinking, etc? And making comments like "Still no baby then?"

As PP have said, go and have a good old chat on the TTC boards.

Ahh exciting! We started trying this time last year and I’m currently feeding my five week old ☺️

I told my sister but I probably wouldn’t again because she was a bad combination of excited for us, but totally clueless. She was texting me after a week asking if I was pregnant yet when I hadn’t even ovulated that cycle yet 🤦🏻‍♀️ if it had taken a while to conceive it would have become extremely grating to be honest. But maybe you have more clued up friends?

Good luck with it all OP!

Maybe point out to your BF that if it doesn’t happen quickly he will be subject to Jaffa jokes from less sensitive friends, will put every period you have out in the public domain and will essentially be putting your body and it’s capabilities out there for all to judge. People can be dicks.

Slight derailment but as you’re not married - what is your plan for maternity leave/childcare etc and do you jointly own your house? Unmarried mums are often at a financial disadvantage due to the uneven split of domestic labour that naturally happens when you have children. Ensure you continue full time work and split all childcare and household responsibilities equally so that in the event of a split (or even if you stay together) you have equal incomes, spare money, pensions, savings and free time. Any disparity now will be magnified massively by motherhood if you’re not paying attention.

Marriage is the easiest way to protect yourself but if that’s not on the cards (and once a baby is here, financially that will feel harder to justify) you need to protect yourself in other ways.

Sorry to piss on your baby parade but now is the time for those discussions, not after the horse has bolted.

It's a very exciting time! If you decide to tell people, that's your choice, but bear in mind they're not going to be as excited as you.
I think it's good advice to head over to the conception boards for supportive chat.
All the best 👍

😅😅😅😅😅

I remember this well.

You'll either get pregnant first go and be UTTERLY STUNNED for weeks

Or 6 month from now you'll be on the sofa saying "Come on it's 10.30 and we have to have sex tonight 😒😒😒"

She’s right you know.

Honestly, it’s best not to tell anyone you’re trying, just in case it proves to be not as easy as you hoped.

I didn’t tell anyone (dh wouldn’t have dreamt of it!) and when I had the first sign very soon after a missed period (a tingling in one boob) dh wouldn’t believe it until quite a bit later - this was well before you could buy tests. I knew, though and had exactly the same very early tingle with baby no. 2.

I didn’t tell anyone else until I was 3 months gone - it was fairly usual then (a long time ago) in case of an early miss.

How are you protecting yourself financially?

Oh it is exciting! but I really wouldn't tell anyone. It can be a difficult journey TTC for some and you don't want the added pressure of anyone else asking/knowing. Just keep it special between you two.

I wouldn't. It can take a year for a healthy couple to conceive, that's a long time to people to be asking. I also couldn't have that pressure on me and think it would interfere too much with me trying to stay relaxed, everyone waiting to see if my period had come or not 😆

I'm not being a dick. I genuinely think it's weird and I never ever want to know if family and friends are 'trying'

PPs are right. Do you know exactly how much nursery costs, or who is going to be unable to work when a baby is here?

I'm asking because I had no clue that nursery could cost as much as a second mortgage. You really need to have your financial plans nailed down, and you need to know how either of you plus baby would be supported if either of you wanted to leave.

each to their own but I can’t fathom why you would tell people. It can take a year to conceive and it will result in whoever you have told asking for news every time they see you, which would become very tiresome quickly if you don’t conceive straight away. I conceived my first child first cycle we tried but my second took 3 years and IVF . It would have driven me crazy if people had been asking me when I was going through that.

Same for me, first was a one hit wonder the second was ivf/miscarriage/ivf.

I had a colleague who told us all in a meeting "we're going to start TTC this month!", so we obviously wished her luck. She wasn't even a friend, but talked about every holiday or night out being an opportunity, and it was a bit much. Then she said "my husband is going to get me pregnant for my birthday". Her birthday came and went. It just got a bit awkward. She did eventually have a healthy baby girl.
My point is that certain things are of interest to those immediately concerned, and not others.

Good luck, OP! Lots of love