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Original poster

Just started TTC and feeling a bit giddy with the excitement of it all

31 replies

TTCGiddy · 29/05/2025 09:04

This will probably sound a bit daft. I think I am posting just because I need someone to tell me to calm down and give my head a wobble. I've just started trying for a baby with my BF. No one else knows we are even trying. I came off the pill last week and I've only just started tracking ovulation. He is bursting to tell people close to us that we are trying. I wanted to keep it under wraps but now I am having similar thoughts. I am excited about it. Did you tell people that you were trying or did you just wait until you had any actual news to share (as in, actually being pregnant)?

OP posts:

MignonsMorceaux · 29/05/2025 11:50

TheIceBear · 29/05/2025 11:33

each to their own but I can’t fathom why you would tell people. It can take a year to conceive and it will result in whoever you have told asking for news every time they see you, which would become very tiresome quickly if you don’t conceive straight away. I conceived my first child first cycle we tried but my second took 3 years and IVF . It would have driven me crazy if people had been asking me when I was going through that.

Same here!

WitchesofPainswick · 29/05/2025 11:52

Ahh it's so fun and exciting isn't it? Don't tell anyone though, they will keep asking and it could be embarrassing. It can be a long old road. Enjoy this time!

And get married!

Arquebuse · 29/05/2025 12:13

CapitalAtRisk · 29/05/2025 09:22

It is exciting for you OP, escpecially at the beginning. The trouble is, what if it drags on a bit? And having announced to everyone that you are TTCing, you will get constant questions.

What if you're period's come, and you're feeling a bit down, and people keep asking how it's going, or watching like a hawk to see if you're drinking, etc? And making comments like "Still no baby then?"

As PP have said, go and have a good old chat on the TTC boards.

This. You’re allowed to feel excited, obviously, but keep it to yourself in RL. And, if you’re feeling too skittish, this is the time to bolt down the realities of parenting your eventual bsby. How can you both make work more family friendly? Who does childminder drop offs and pick ups? What happens when childcare falls though or a sick child can’t go?

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WtafIsThat · 29/05/2025 13:25

I’m another one who didn’t tell anyone as I find that a bit weird. The thing is, it’s exciting for you, but not really for anyone else. People are wrapped up in their own lives.

And then when it doesn’t happen straight away it’s a bit awkward if it’s still being mentioned after a year.

Also, don’t tell anyone your names. You’ll get everyone’s opinions.

casualcrispenjoyer · 29/05/2025 13:32

I just wouldn’t- just in case it takes a little longer than planned. Hopefully it won’t.

I know a couple who excitedly told us over two years ago. Still no baby.

One where it was actually mentioned in the wedding speech in a ‘now we can start!’ way. Again, 18 months ago. Still no baby.

I’m not suggesting anything was jinxed- just must be quite gutting if you have made it so public and it takes a long time for you to catch. As friends we have the good grace to not bring it up- but god knows what family are like.

Foreverhappiest · 29/05/2025 13:59

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 29/05/2025 09:36

Maybe point out to your BF that if it doesn’t happen quickly he will be subject to Jaffa jokes from less sensitive friends, will put every period you have out in the public domain and will essentially be putting your body and it’s capabilities out there for all to judge. People can be dicks.

Slight derailment but as you’re not married - what is your plan for maternity leave/childcare etc and do you jointly own your house? Unmarried mums are often at a financial disadvantage due to the uneven split of domestic labour that naturally happens when you have children. Ensure you continue full time work and split all childcare and household responsibilities equally so that in the event of a split (or even if you stay together) you have equal incomes, spare money, pensions, savings and free time. Any disparity now will be magnified massively by motherhood if you’re not paying attention.

Marriage is the easiest way to protect yourself but if that’s not on the cards (and once a baby is here, financially that will feel harder to justify) you need to protect yourself in other ways.

Sorry to piss on your baby parade but now is the time for those discussions, not after the horse has bolted.

This. Enjoy your excitement.

But protect yourself now legally and monetary. You are the one that takes the hit with maternity leave, pension and the toll on your body.

I don’t want to rain on your parade like the person I’ve quoted but I would ensure I was married to ttc unless I was independently very wealthy and secure.

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