How did you finally form new healthy habits? I can’t seem too!

[thas]

I didn’t expect to still be failing so badly at life nearing my 50s. I need to lose 2 stone, regularly exercise, eat healthy food, organise my home etc etc and I just can’t seem to make any progress. Nothing sticks! Anyone been in a dark place and managed to form all the healthy habits? How?!

Firstly ignore the post above this one, Pick one habit you want to acquire first, can be any of them it doesn’t really matter, just one.Then habit stack… so maybe it’s ’drink more water’. So when you do something automatically- like out the kettle on fro a cup of tea… drink a glass of water whilst it’s boiling. Do that for a couple of weeks, then add another one in… Download audible and buy ‘atomic habits’ by James Clear - game changer

Oh do piss off.

Im exactly the same op. I know what I want but I also enjoy the things that are holding me back - food, booze and sobbing around rather than exercising. It’s very hard. You can’t just miraculously undo years of habit forming by imagining it! Baby steps are the way I think. I’ve started walking on my lunch break, it’s not a lot but it’s a small positive step and because I’ve done it for a few months now it’s become a new normal for me. I suppose the same could apply to healthy eating and other habits.

But it’s tough so I’m following with interest!

Why comment if you can’t be constructive ? Not everyone is able to have strong willpower

The post above is right, I was going to say similar..
Starting by drinking water is excellent.
That was a good idea, none of us drink enough and it will make a difference to your entire body.
I would suggest shopping mindfully looking for foods that are not UPF just basic lower fat options.
If you to feel tired and too uninspired to declutter tidy up etc concentrate on exercising as well as eating lighter.
Funnily enough, the more you exercise the more energy you will find you have.
Baby steps, as you start to see and feel a difference it will encourage you, but you have to start somewhere.
Make sure you get enough rest, and ditch any unhealthy wind down habits.

Just do one at a time and find a way that works for you. If you enjoy it you'll carry on.

Twatty comment.
One thing at a time op.

What is it with the higher-than-usual numbers of sanctimonious and unempthatic posters this week...Don't you have enough to occupy you irl?

Things I have found work well for me are focussing on starting positive new habits rather than thinking of stopping old ones, so e.g. Starting to drink water, rather than stopping fizzy drinks, having fruit after dinner rather than banning chocolate. Also starting quite small and doing one manageable thing at a time and embedding it (I have a terrible habit of designing ambitious master plans to transform my whole life in one go then abandoning the whole thing if one element fails). With housework stuff use timers, set quite short initially and see how much you can do in 5 mins, or fill one bag only with stuff to be dumped (and then dump it immediately). With decluttering get anything you've decluttered entirely out of the house, whether that's to the bin or the charity shop or wherever, do it right away, don't just bag it up and then leave it in a pile or your car, that's still clutter then. Don't get caught in the vinted/ebay trap, yes it's great to make a few £s but actually if the for sale pile is out of control and taking up house room, stressing you out, maybe just let it all go, it's worthwhile forgoing the money, view it as an investment in a nice organised calm home...

Small, consistent steps are the way forward @thas . Accepting that there will be days, maybe even weeks, that you let them slide but picking them again as soon as you remember.

Combining a new habit with an established one is helpful - e.g doing physio exercises while you make a cup of tea, or focusing on the reward element, e.g. New skincare routine makes you feel pampered rather than being a chore

For exercise, I find it helps to book classes that I have to go along to, as that makes me more likely to go. I do Pilates and yoga this way, and then having those two firm things a week makes me want to be more active the other days.

I’ve done a lot of reading about food, particularly UPFs, and the power of being terrified after reading about all the weird stuff going on with our food has changed my food habits permanently I think, much to DH’s annoyance I’m sure as I do the food shopping

Set realistic goals and expectations - Start small and don’t expect a full overhaul to happen overnight.
Go for walks, plan to exercise a couple of days a week, drink water, have a good sleep schedule, make a routine that you can stick to and before you know it it’s become a habit that you can build upon.

Give yourself leeway and don’t see a missed day as failure.

You build the changes into your life. You don't go to the chocolate aisle in the supermarket so you don't have to win the mental battle in front of the cupboard in the evening. You buy a punnet of raspberries to snack on instead of a bag of skittles. You do it consciously a few times and then it becomes a habit and you can stop fighting/overthinking and move on to the next thing.

You identify what's realistic - hitting the snooze button every morning at six am tells you to find another slot in the day for your exercise.

Plan ahead so you aren't reacting to hunger/tiredness in the moment and bingeing on whatever carbs are near to hand.

House I tend to do room by room. Its generally not my stuff that's the issue and I have found that ordering a council special collection for things as it has a date on it the stuff gets cleared for.

Another helpful thing if you can afford it is a one-off cleaners to do some / all of the house, seeing it clean and tidy is quite motivating and kick starts things.

Exercise I do 3 to 5 hours a week but can include things like gardening in that. I had cancer and that amount halves the chance of it coming back. Swimming mainly. And I keep a total and weekly average on a draft e-mail.

Sometimes you need to explore why you do the things that are bad for you. For example - what need is eating badly meeting for you? Is it bringing you comfort, fun, enjoyment, excuse to socialise etc? Can you get those needs met in different ways so you don’t have to turn to food?

Also lots of good stuff on procrastination out there if that’s a problem for you - Dr David Maloney on YouTube is good on that, or Grace Brodeur.

Oh yes, absolutely finding some exercise you actually enjoy (or at least don't hate) is key, for me I hate running and the gym but classes and walking are much better. Friends of mine love dance, strength training, cycling. If exercise is nothing but a horrible chore it's really hard to motivate yourself to do it. Like I said before it's better to do a small amount but regularly and stick to it long term, than be too ambitious and set yourself up to fail. If you're quite sedentary at the moment even walking 10 minutes a day will make a huge difference...

Are you being unduly harsh on yourself here?

My first question would always be - what has worked in the past?

I've personally been round the merry-go-round and can honestly say I have never managed to achieve a time when I am my goal weight, exercising well, work is going well, friends and family are healthy, home is tidy.

Genuinely, if I ever think to myself for too long - wow I have smashed this, something happens to derail things.

So there is something in the mindset of wanting perfection that is doomed.

However what I think from years of experience is the sweet spot is 80% good enough.

To get what you want you just need to pare everything right back and simplify your life so you are removing as many obstacles to success as possible. If you genuinely Want those 4 things listed at an 80% perfection level, get rid of obstacles first.

Exercise > build it around things you are doing anyway, around existing routine, make it something you enjoy as more likely to stick, start small and build up

Eat healthy food > remove junk at home and replace with healthier options, meal prep so not caught out etc.

Organise home > follow some declutters online for inspiration, possibly invest in their services if you have too much stuff

Lose 2 stone > this one is a by product of exercise and healthy food so takes care of itself with the right action but the main obstacles is sticking to it, so just track everything you eat

All of these individually take a fair amount of planning. I tend to start with healthy eating when I've lost my way because after a couple of weeks of healthy eating I tend to feel okay about exercising.

At the moment my focus is on
Healthy eating
Work going well
Checking in on friends and family
Exercise is on the back burner (but not forgotten) with walking only as I am a bit poorly with a virus

I tend to do decluttering at home in short projects - but don't enjoy doing it in summer, more of a winter thing - would love to finally get rid of the 'things to sell' pile(s)

I have to agree with this. I used to be able to motivate myself with the stick ie. Give that up, but now it's much more carrot!

Quite guilty of the masterplan too - it's a fantastic Procrastination tool 😆

I'm intrigued about giving things away - I just worry I might miss the cash I could have made (but am not making as it's sitting there 😆)

Reading is a good way of reinforcing change . I remember reading Why We Sleep and it changed my (lax) attitude to getting enough sleep.

I’ve thrown money at it to be honest.

Joined a stupidly expensive gym for a year which forced me go 3 times a week to ensure that I wasn’t throwing money down the drain. After a year I’ve joined a cheaper gym and have kept up the habit and try to prioritise it because I like how it makes my body feel. But I did find it hard for the first few months….i think there’s a bit of a hump
to get over with exercise before it genuinely starts to make you feel good rather than knackered.

I’ve recently invested in a fitness coach who I meet weekly. She sets workouts and reviews my calorie tracking app which keeps me accountable. It’s all about small tweaks rather than massive changes and quite frankly it’s boring but I’ve lost half a stone in 2 months and will keep going as the changes I’ve made are sustainable. For me it’s about having certain foods in the house that make sensible eating easier (focus on protein)…then eat those foods most of the time. I can still go out for dinner and will make sensible choices if I can, but if I really want the calorific option then I’ll have it….the damage isn’t done with one meal, as long as the majority of your meals are in the direction of your goal.

Move your body as much as possible….walk places rather than drive if you have time, stairs not lift, park further away from your destination than you usually would
etc. Meet friends for walks. It all adds up.

I basically watch what I eat 4 days a week. And loosen up a bit the other 3 days. Finding exercise I like has really helped (caroline girvan for me) it motivated me to sort out my nutrition.

I used to be you OP. Now I batch cook, drink lots of water and try to walk (briskly) for an hour per day. I only buy goodies if I'm expecting visitors. A snack for me now is fruit or crispbread with thinly sliced cheese or peanut butter. It's just become my new normal and I feel so much better for it.

Start with your bedroom.
Bring a plant into your bedroom, to remind you to look after the plant, the room and yourself.
Start with making your bed every morning. Sunday mornings is the time I open the windows wide, strip the bed, dust, water the plants, hoover and mop the floor, re make the bed, put fresh pyjamas on the bed ready for the evening. Takes me about 30 minutes, I don’t do the whole house, literally, just the bedroom.

On my bedside table I keep serum, face cream, hand cream and a book. So in the evening when I get into bed I’m all set up.

Just focus on that for a month, it’s only 4 times that month you actually need to do this.

Stretching will make you feel better, and it’s not strenuous. I have absolutely no self discipline, I have to go to a class. Book a set of 10 classes (Pilates, yoga, stretch etc) and comit to just 10 classes, you paid for it, you’ll feel like you have to go.

While you make your coffee in the morning, drink one glass of water. Not a pint, not a bottle, just grab a water glass and down it. Do this throughout the summer, just tell yourself it’s hot in the summer, might not have a chance to drink water later, I’ll have one now.

And that’s it, that’s all for the summer. You’re just forming habits, that takes time.

Good luck!

Your goals are varied and ambitious. Pick one and reduce it to a minimum. Eg. you want to lose weight. Forget about the two stone and aim to get one pound off and keep it off. If and when you achieve it, only then think about the next step. Take simple steps that don't require much investment or thought such as reducing portion size by 10% whenever you think about it (and not giving yourself a hard time when not).

At the end of every day, congratulate yourself for any small step towards a goal you have achieved (and also please note everything you also achieved during the day which will have been a lot and might explain why your whole focus can't be on creating new habits).

Sometimes, with difficult habit changes, I have to chew on the idea of the new habit for quite a long time, reading about why it is beneficial or learning about other people's strategies etc and then only when the right trigger comes along to help me get started can I really do it.

Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.

Find an exercise guru who floats your boat - Heather Robertson, Growingannanas, Livinleggings, Lucy Wyndham Read, Yoga with Cassandra, Sydney Cummings, Rebecca Louise, Caroline Girvan….. in no particular order…….. there are so many, but as long as you actually do it, any one will be just fine.

Eat healthy, exercise most days, and KOKO 😊