SAHM... Would You?

[MarzipanfromMaidstone]

Quick question...talking to my sister about this and want to run a poll and see what others say. Basically if it was financially possible (not rich, just enough), would you choose to stay home with the kids?

Isn't the purpose of work to sustain individuals and/or a family, rather than an end in itself?

Yes, and I did. It's been the best four years ever. I really don't want to go back to work.

No. I’d miss the social interaction with my colleagues, we socialise outside of work as well so I’d feel isolated. I’d also be worried about the impact on my career prospects should we split.

Only if it was my money. (And I was a sahm- our money/ his money really though!)

No. I can’t imagine being dependent on someone else’s salary to support me and my children. And I’d detest the monotony of weekdays, evenings and weekends being so similar.

I would say it depends on how i bond with the kids. Some kids are irritating but others are comfortable to be around. But i would while the children were young but as they got older i would find work and a hobby to take me away from the family every week. We should all do this.

I was and am financially independent of my DH. I studied and worked long and hard before I met him, too. I became a SAHM and it was the best decision for me and for DH (kids would have been fine either way). If I weren’t financially independent I think I’d have continued working. Work has nothing to do with my identity or feelings of self-worth, and I don’t see economic productivity as in any way related to a person’s value or worth. But I wouldn’t ever want to not have the freedom to choose to leave a man if I wanted to or, worse, needed to.

No it’s mind numbing

No. I have been on maternity leave, worked pt and had periods between jobs as well as worked ft. I can safely say I never want to be an SAHM.

I was climbing the walls with boredom whilst marking time. Socialising with other SAHMs, going to each other's houses, coffee mornings, lunches, whilst talking about kids, activities, how to get onto a tutor's wait list, waiting at the school gate, doing the school run and being a driver for activities, helping with homework, PTA argh. It does not offer enough intellectual stimulation.

I am in the position of being able to retire now but I am not taking it up. I love it that my world is bigger than just heath, home and hobbies and me and dh are equals in every sense and dcs see that too.

No because I’ve put an awful lot into my studying (working full time, studying and a part time job alongside time, for a number of years) and career progression. Also, DM was a single Mum who really struggled (had to save up money for the bus fair to our local park eg) so I have always strived to be independent and be able to look after myself and children.
turns out, I was right to do so! Divorced when DD was 3 and no child maintenance (50/50, he was self employed) so had to do the majority on my own as it turned out!!!!

Just to add to this, when DD was born, both XH and I condensed our ft hours so worked longer days (6 a week between us) but we each worked 10 hours/day but each had 3 days with DD and minimal childcare too. Exhausting but we both wanted to be equal parents and that has stayed the way since we divorced when DD was 3

God no. Boring, boring, boring.

When DC was out of the newborn phase, I returned to work part time and I realised I liked the balance of both worlds.

It was nice to step away from the mummy role and go back into the workplace and enjoy a coffee at my desk without small fingers trying to pry the cup away😂

Well, you can go back to work after taking time off, but your career won't ever be the same.

If you have the average two kids that's 5-10 years off. Your pension and career just won't recover from that. And that's if you're able to return back to work - depending on the industry your skills can become obsolete fairly quickly.

So yes that is an option but not the same as staying into work.

I was a sahm. Wish I hadn't. Wish I'd found a way to work and really develop my career.