SAHM... Would You?

[MarzipanfromMaidstone]

Quick question...talking to my sister about this and want to run a poll and see what others say. Basically if it was financially possible (not rich, just enough), would you choose to stay home with the kids?

That’s great! I was a chair of governors (for 7yrs when I was single in my 20s) and can’t remember receiving that much training at all! A few days here and there, but not really anything that would boost my CV. I’m glad your school and LA had the funding for that.

No. I couldn't rely financially on a man. It turned out to be for the best as DH was made redundant when DD was 2, my wage kept us going for 6m until he found another job.

Oh gosh yes, we honestly had training coming out of our ears!

The eventual change to online training was very welcome.

Financially neither DH or I have ever needed to work but both studied for careers we have enjoyed and both worked full time when DT’s were born. We are now in our early 50’s and have retired.

Absolutely not. I would rather sit on a cactus.
I have a daughter, and no way am I raising her with the example that it's fine not to work hard at school as she can just hook a wealthy man and live off him bankrolling her. I want her to form her own career, make her own living and develop her own skills.

you can do both you know? At different times of life. Eg have a great career, stop have a baby, take a few years out, have a career for decades after.

its not little miss no brains OR girl boss

SAHPs can leave the house you know 😂
I've had more interesting adult interaction and conversations etc than I ever did at work.
At work we talked about boring work things.

No because I am an adult who is responsible for myself and to remain financially independent from my husband to me is the beat way

Completely agree. I love that I can do something I love and contribute. I am raising kids that see a strong independent woman who has an amazing loving husband but doesn’t need him. I took voluntary redundancy and had a year ‘off’. Horrible and bored senseless. Felt very unfulfilling. And yes I can choose to work and do.

Fuck no. It is financially possible for us. I just really really really didn't want to.

No because I find my work fulfilling but I can see how someone might want to if their job is one that just pays the bills rather than is a career path, but even then I think I would miss the social aspect of work, financial independence, having a schedule, leaving the house etc.

not for just enough No

Yes, and I did. We did struggle financially when I wasn't working at all, but it was a joint decision between me and DH. I started working freelance part-time once dc went to school.

I did, but it wasn't that unusual thirty years ago. I wanted to stay at home, we could afford it, and even though I sacrificed my career at the time I have no regrets. It was the right decision for our family, and I got my career back on track later on.

No.

And I find the idea that someone would choose to send their babies to nursery to be looked after by strangers baffling.

Zero regrets about being a SAHM for 6 years. They grow up so quickly and you never get the time back. I then worked term time and part time (using my uni qualifications) until 55 when I retired. Life is for living!

If it helps, they don't remain strangers.

Couldn’t think of anything worse!

I was a SAHM when my DC were little and went back to work when the youngest started school. I enjoyed it at the time, but looking back I think I took a big risk! I was lucky and found an interesting fulfilling job, but some of my friends who took time out have really struggled to return to work. Is it worth a few years at home if you then end up spending years in a boring low paid job because you can't get back into your previous career?

No. We could afford it but I have no interest in being at home all the time. I love leaving the house and doing my thing. I felt like a washed out version of myself during maternity leave, even though I did enjoy bits of them. I don't even have a high powered or well paid career!

I would work even if I won the lottery tomorrow.

I took 10 years out to do this. I don't regret it. It was 10 years out of a possible 50 working years. Still 40 years left over for my career.

Yes I'm a sahm and I enjoy it. DCs are both school-aged and I have no plans to return to work. I have excellent private pension provision and ISAs and I have plenty of fulfilling activities to get me out of the house, having social contact and structured time.

Absolutely not, I would never want to be financially dependent on another person. We should be partners in a relationship! We see SAHMs on here who are left high and dry when relationships break down.

I worked bloody hard to get where I am work wise, and whilst my kids were young worked flexibly so my children never went to nursery full time. My DH has always been at home by 3.30 so there has always been someone available after school for support or lifts or clubs.

I also think it’s good work ethic example to set kids - things do not come free, we have to work for them.

No I adore my job and I adore my colleagues. (Primary teacher in a small school) I love the sense of community and pride in my work.
Plus I have every summer , afternoon and break off with DC and earn a lot of money for it.

In some cases, it’s a luxury to be able to afford to go back to work and be paid enough to afford extortionate childcare bills and meet your other essential expenses at the same time. Some women would be either be just about breaking even, or potentially worse off once travel expenses are factored in, if they returned to work.