im not sure if im hurt or angry or just plain unreasonable

[mazie2024]

a bit of back story. my parents were awful growing up. every kind of abuse bar drugs. because my parents had money it was ignored by familly. it was 95% aimd at me because the familly disliked girls. i now see that as their problem not mine. on my 18th birthday my parents told us that the familly business had gone bankrupt. they owed a lot of money to bad people so we had to leave. my gran paid for the rent on a house. my brother and me went to work full time giving my parents all the money we earnt. told to take out multiple loans for them. the choice to say no wasnt there. it ended up with me in 25k plus in debt. not 1p was mine. my parents moved abroad telling me i wasnt going. this was a huge blessing. my salary was mine! it took me 10 years but i paid back every penny they had had. i got myself on my feet. they call again. its gone wrong. i bail them out with 10k id saved.
the relationship started to go better. they are my parents after all. i wanted to try.
it ended up with them living with me. dad helping around the house (he was now retired as was mum). mum paid for my eldest child to get private medical treatment i couldnt afford (around 3k).
after 5 years they said they wanted to start paying me back as much as they could afford. i took it! i had about 300 per month from them. not a lot considering what id given them and debt i was left in.
they did this because i fell on hard times. i married a man that sold the house id bought and left me homeless and in debt. i know how to choose people haha
5 years later im still not back on my feet. im strugging to find a house. my mum died 2 years ago. dad found out mum had done private pensions for my dad. he will be getting 90+k within the next 6 months. all the way through hed said to my brother and me that we would be given 15k each as a sorry for everything. hed live off the rest (he also gets a state pension and then the monthly private pension).
oh forgot the fact mum had been over paid by the dwp. i was forced to be the executor of her estate. meaning i was liable for her debts. it was 74k. i have 9500 left to pay.im lucky i earn an ok salary through all of this.
my father has said regarding the 15k each i am not getting what my brother is getting because he wants to keep money in his account. im allowed 7k. im at the point of saying pay it off on mums debt and never speak to me again.
its honestly not about the money. he knew i was buying a little field to start again on. its how i started over 20 years ago. he knows its not even close to being enough.
i dont know if im being ungreatful or right to feel so hurt. its nothing to do with the money. its more im feeling like a fool for allowing myself to belive he may do something that was nice. not to look like he was a fantastic father. genuinely nice. my older kids just said told you hed do this

tbh i didnt actually want advice. as lovely as people have been trying. i was actually venting. it was a very bad day when i posted. my heads back where it should be and im getting on with it all as i should be now

untrue. you can have probate an someone acting on your behalf. so basically the same. sorting the affairs of the person thats died.
i did the probate through the gov website so definitely above board.

there is so much confusion around this topic. its something we all need to be educated o so we dont end up in the mess ive been lft in

You are still confused. You are describing an administrator, not an executor.

i am describing an administrator. the role is basically the same. people know what an executor is generally. not an administrator.
honestly this wasn't even close to the point of my post.
the point was y father deciding what he has financially. which is 100% his right to do so.

So you’re not the executor then?
Yeah didn’t think so. Still not liable for debts though even when you’re the administrator.

you have not read all ive written. i said they have found assets somewhere else. wont share with me where. so they are presuming i have the assets and shared out with her next of kin aka my family. then not bothered paying her debts.
i am trying to find whatever they have said she has. ive found her old accountant. he is dead sadly to get the information. the company still excysts though. they are looking for anything they may still have on file.
so sadly this is 100% correct. i honesty wish is wasn't

i was doing a letter of administration. i find it easier when i say executor most people understand what im talking about. i do know the difference. its just easier to explain. but honesty this wasnt the point of my post

seriously i have taken legal advice. think multiple solicitors saying exactly the same know more than a random person on the internet. i know who im believing.

this was not the point of my post.