You find a little man

[mylittleyumyum]

You're walking in the woods and you happen to look down at a tree stump, and there's a little man. Picture a gonk, or gnome if you will - 6 inches tall, chubby. Little pointy felt hat pulled down over his eyes. Long wispy beard. Lil trousers and a tshirt.
He seems friendly enough, he's chattering away in a language your google doesn't recognise.
He's Cute As Fuck.
Now what do you do? Are you taking this little fellow home? He's happy enough to hop into your hand. After all nobody at home will believe you if you don't show proof.....
Or do you leave him where he is? What if the next person who encounters him means him harm?

Why does he want to come home with me? No way I’m showing him where I live, creepy sod.

I've seen too many horror films, I am not taking it home, I'm pretending i haven't seen it and walking away.

Ew no, most of the posters on this site have some bloke around as a pet anyway.

Why would you want some creepy man chatting shite in your home when you could simply..not?

I ask him if he can grant me three wishes. If not he can stay where he is.

I'd rescue him and put him in my garden. I've got rather a lot of bonsai trees so he'd feel right at home. 😂

Duh. What if he means the next person harm? What if he means YOU harm? What if you feed him after midnight or get him wet? What if you record his cute unknown language and play it backwards and he’s saying ‘I feed on household pets’? What if he drags you down to the Gnome Underworld by the leg of your trousers?

Anyone who brings it home would regret it when you wake up and he’s on your bed at night with a knife and repeating his language demonically.

David Bowie took his home and did rather well out of it, although he later distanced himself from the story.

genius.com/David-bowie-the-laughing-gnome-lyrics

Be respectful but leave him alone and don't eat any food he offers you...

I would say "Peace be to the Gnome kingdom" and hurry the fuck on.

No way am I taking him anywhere..... I've seen one too many horror films for that to be a good idea.

I immediately think of the poem Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti. Terrifying!!

O
If you take him home don't feed him after midnight...

I’d go home and take my medication..

*I have bipolar and have hallucinations so I’d probably assume this was one 😂

He’s a goblin, not a gremlin!

Honestly, some people…

I’d put down the glass of wine and go straight to bed

This is a good thread. I’d probably leave him where he is on the same grounds that I wouldn’t take wildlife home. He sounds exotic and exotic creatures have complicated needs. What if, to stay alive, he needs to drink the dew from the grass at one specific spot in the forest? And he couldn’t tell you? It would be terrible.

Seems like just another thing to feel guilty about. I'd probably report it to 101 and try and forget about it.

Especially if you didn’t bring your faithful sister to rescue you from sinister goblin fruit merchants by letting them attack her with their fruit, so you can lick it off her and recover from your addiction!

No way am I taking a living gonk home.

Is this a troll?!

I like what you did there.

Nope, neither myself nor my hypothetical little man are trolls. Unless gonks are a sub-species of troll? I don't know.

Anyway, some food for thought here. I never considered that the little man might have murderous intent, nor did I give thought to potentially very specific dietary requirements. That might change my own answer of keeping him and monetising him online (as ethically as possible)

No, trolls are about 9-20ft in height. Apparently.

It depends how hungry I am. But a 6-inch creature isn’t going to give you more than about 600 calories so probably better to snare squirrels and rabbits instead.

(I have been binge-watching Alone).

I would sit and watch him for a little bit, until I got bored or he got visibly freaked out. Going by every fairy tale ever, leaving him a small gift might be prudent. Either a small bowl of milk or some gold is recommended.

Actually, that sparks a follow on question. What do you have about your person, now, that would make a suitable gift for a miniature supernatural entity?