You find a little man

[mylittleyumyum]

You're walking in the woods and you happen to look down at a tree stump, and there's a little man. Picture a gonk, or gnome if you will - 6 inches tall, chubby. Little pointy felt hat pulled down over his eyes. Long wispy beard. Lil trousers and a tshirt.
He seems friendly enough, he's chattering away in a language your google doesn't recognise.
He's Cute As Fuck.
Now what do you do? Are you taking this little fellow home? He's happy enough to hop into your hand. After all nobody at home will believe you if you don't show proof.....
Or do you leave him where he is? What if the next person who encounters him means him harm?

Never trust anything even vaguely related to the fae. They are all as shifty as fuck.

I wouldn’t take anyone - fae or wildlife - out of their natural habitat. It rarely ends well. If he’s in the woods he belongs in the woods.

If you take him home and he’s just as annoying as any other male …. And proves that he’s not magic, can’t grant wishes, and just sits around your house all day, eating your food and watching reruns of friends, whilst throwing peanuts at your cat…….. what do you do then ????

you can’t just take him back and abandon him in the woods, you can’t ask him to move out, as he won’t be able to look after himself, and your guilt at the abandonment would eat you alive.

you’d then have to let him stay, getting more and more fed up, and antagonised about his lack of hygiene, his leaving pizza boxes and beer cans all over the place, and he doesn’t contribute at all.

nah….. if I see that fucker, I’m turning around and running…. The red flag is blowing far too hard in this scenario!!!!

I’d film him, walk backwards very very slowly - and then run like hell. On second thoughts, perhaps filming him would be a bad idea, then he might come creeping out of my phone when I got home! (I don’t watch horror films, but read far too many scary stories when I was young.)

Excuse me, what?

I suppose I could leave him my earrings. They're only gold plated and from TKMaxx but they are shiny..... 🤣

Risky. What if he goes to the local woodland jeweller (run by a wise old owl), gets them tested and takes offence at them not being solid? 😬

You could be looking at a lifetime of your milk going inexplicably sour, and your cattle getting murrain* to boot.

*what is even murrain? It seems to get mentioned in folklore a lot, along with rickets.

😂

So true!

I'd offer him a bowl of milk in the hope that he might do my housework for me. Or is that elves? Anyway, feeding him and therefore staying on his good side can never be a bad thing. So, bowl of milk, a smile and move on.

But leave the hoover handy, just in case.

My dog would chase the poor little fella away, or leap on him before I’d even clocked what it was.