'Stuck up'

[Daisyvodka]

If you know someone you would describe as 'stuck up' what would make you say that?

Was reading a thread running about likeability and i've been thinking lately about how I've been described as stuck up in the past and how it's both times been by people who the sort of person who if you told them you were going to see a play would say 'fucking boring, why would you want to do that' or would roll their eyes at someone reading a non fiction book. Now to be clear, if you aren't interested in going to see plays or read non fiction, great! (There's a lot of plays and non fiction that would bore me to tears) it's just the attitude that comes with it - the sort of 'ewwwww, boring and weird' attitude. Instead of 'oh, not my thing at all, but hope you enjoy it!'
Interested to hear in what others think of as 'stuck up' behaviour. It was a very long time ago I got called it, when I was quite shy, and I have definitely seen other people described as 'stuck up' when i can't see how you'd know enough about the person to determine that, given how shy they are!
Interested in a discussion - from anyone whose been called stuck up and would agree/disagree with that assessment, anyone who finds others stuck up, different interpretations of the word etc.

"stuck up" means 'I'm threatened by you, your existence threatens my sense of self, but I'm either too emotionally immature or stupid to recognize that and override it".
It's also an excellent short hand way to establish whether someone is worth spending any time getting to know. If you hear those words, run for the hills.

Not a term I would ever use, but I guess I see it as one of two things. If someone likes things like going to plays and reading non-fiction, or classical music or art, and feels and acts superior to those who don't, or thinks anything that is widely popular can't have any merit, and this comes out in their attitude, then it's a justified jibe I think.

It doesn't sound like this is the case with you. Normally though, it's used as you described, by people who feel threatened or insecure by people who are different from them and says everything about the person using the term and nothing about the person it is directed towards.

Yeah, I've got no judgement for others not wanting to only pursue activities that have been societally categorised as 'highbrow'
Mainly because I don't care but also because life is made more interesting for the fact we don't all like the same things! I want to watch Selling Sunset and go to the theatre and eat a macdonalds and get a drink at a wanky hipster bar. We can in fact have all the things.
I was also brought up to pursue to the things you enjoy, regardless of what anyone else things a certain category of person they think you might fit in 'should' be doing. Because those 'rules' and expectations are made up and serve no purpose other than to make the person judging feel a certain way.

Yes, I think this is quite a useful summary. The time I remember someone using it of me it was my then-boyfriend now-DH’s uncle when I was about 20 and a passenger in a car he was driving, whom I’m not sure I’d ever met to speak to before and to whom I’d been nothing but polite. Calling me ‘stuck up’ was caveman shorthand for ‘You’re working class like me, but you’re at Oxford, and I find you really threatening.’

Maybe the meaning has changed over the years but back in the day "stuck up" would imply someone who spoke with a plum in their mouth and had a generally snooty attitude - someone who almost visibly looked down on other people. More often than not they would have "assumed" these mannerisms too, so they weren't even the real deal. It didn't apply to people with high brow interests or to intellectuals - unless they also displayed the aforementioned behaviour!

The word stuck up to me means that person thinks they are above and better than the anyone.

I’ve been described as stuck up.

in my case it’s because I went to Cambridge and the person in question had failed his GCSEs and was worried about me rubbing his nose in it.

only one person has described me as stuck up in my whole life (most people go for weird cat lady) so I think it was him not me.

The person you're describing sounds like an ignorant and not very bright individual who is threatened by you. A bit like some of the people who are on TOWIE & other low rent celebs. They usually have a particular look and lifestyle which is fine but then they look down on everyone else.

My mother is quite stuck up. She has a huge number of opinions about what, in her view, makes other people “common” and how she would never dream of doing such things. She doesn’t just have different preferences, she absolutely views herself as superior to people who do these “common” or “working class” things.

People generally feel threatened by things they don’t understand. You may make decisions to do things that they hadn’t thought of. An ex friend told me I was getting ideas above my station because I was doing a degree course whilst she chose to have 6 kids. My choice. Her choice.

For me it's someone quite conservative and conventional who thinks that them and their peers are basically the master race.

Everyone with different tastes or interests or beliefs or personalities are to be shunned and looked down upon.

They also think 'outsiders' need to be educated about the 'correct' way to behave because their entire personality is defective.

They expect others to act in a subordinate manner towards them if they see them as 'lower'.

And 'I have a massive chip on my shoulder and I need to blame others to make myself feel better'

I was referred to as that, once.

If I had been allowed too, I would have had their head chopped orf!

Well, that’s what the person using the term thinks. They’re not necessarily right.

Often used to describe shy people, who are misinterpreted as being superior and judgemental. Ironically showing a nasty tendency to judgement on the part of the user.

It’s a phrase only used by people who have a very rigid, limited idea of what is normal and appropriate for ‘people like them’ and who regard everyone outside their narrow norm, or seeking to escape it, with suspicion. A phrase of the no-aspiration social and economic underclass essentially.

Dhs family think we are stuck up because we eat continental cheese and like olives. Seriously.

I was bullied at school, and one of the taunts was that I was a "stuck up cow".

The only reason I can think of is that I was painfully shy and found it extremely difficult to make friends and join in. Presumably they thought I was aloof and unfriendly, or looking down my nose at them, but they made my life hell.

So if there's one thing I would never accuse someone of, it is being stuck up.

Reverse snobbery plays a big part.

I think it happens a lot to shy people, particularly as we get older and we adopt strategies to hide the shyness so then we come across as standoffish.

I think it can also be posture. A stuck up person literally has their nose stuck up in the air so if you hold your head very high that can give the same impression.

I was called stuck up at school because in their words talk posh.
I don't. But if I dropped any letters my parents would smack me.

My MIL thinks anyone who eats smoked salmon and speaks with a ‘posh’ accent, is stuck up. The person claiming someone is stuck up, is quite often the one with the hang up’s.

To me stuck up would describe someone who looks down on other people or thinks they’re better then others.

Possibly someone might appear unfriendly or stuck up if they are shy and lacking social skills. Maybe it says more about the person making that judgement!

My elderly neighbour was a "stuck up" Hyacinth Bucket - her sense of inferiority and probably disappointment with her life made her want to appear superior or "one up" on everyone she spoke to. Every conversation was an inquisition and had a barb. I think as a consequence no friends or family ever came round their house.

She commented on where we went to Uni, our weight, appearance, the friends who she saw pop round our house. We used to avoid catching her eye if she was outside her house. Her beloved only DS and his DC moved to Oz - probably to get far from her influence as possible! She must have been quite a sad lonely woman really.

I was actually born abroad and didn’t speak English until I was 7 but have an RP accent. Not posh - posh people drawl and don’t enunciate fully. That voice and my interest in reading and academic subjects got mr labelled as stuck up for most of my time at secondary school. As others have said upthread it’s just ignorance and insecurity.

I was called stuck up during my teens by other teens locally because I passed an entrance exam and went to the local private school instead of the local state school.

No, it was because I actually used my brains. That, plus the fact that the state school was threatened with closure (it did subsequently close).
We still lived on the same 60s housing estate as they did and had our holidays in a 20 year old caravan and my clothes (I'm the eldest) got passed on to my sisters, while they went on foreign holidays and wore designer stuff.