Perimenopause?

[Orangetree42]

I’m 43, have a full time job, 2 lovely kids and a pretty on the ball husband. We don’t have any major struggles just normal life chugging along. Recently, I have been really struggling with my emotions, finding it hard to have patience with the kids and am really irritable and grumpy. I hate this and don’t want to feel this way. I’ve been trying to eat healthily and exercise as much as I have time for ( could be more but lots on with kids/ house and job) I don’t feel particularly stressed at work or anything. I’ve been trying to get lots of sleep but nothing is helping.

Has anyone experienced this? Can anyone tell me if this is perimenopause and what could help? It’s really getting me down. I want to enjoy time with the kids and family. The GP has been spectacularly unhelpful up to this point!

It could be. I’m 46 I’ve had symptoms a few years mood changes, night sweats, achy, heavy periods every 3 weeks, insomnia . I did end up anemic so iron tablets helped a bit.

I started hrt 3 months ago, so far I’ve had 3 or 4 bouts of emotional outbursts and one angry outburst . But my sleep , night sweats and periods have been better. No change on achyiness which I’m sad about

I could have written your post OP!
I think it could be perimenopause for me. I have a few other symptoms too like brain fog, heavier periods, bladder weakness, poor hair & skin... Oh the joys!! I have been feeling more anxious and more emotional, like I could literally cry at anything! Short fuse too which is the bit I really don't like (poor DH & kids). No advice unfortunately but here with understanding & sympathy!

Oh yes brain fog too! That hasn’t improved either unfortunately

Thanks both it’s good to know that others are experiencing the same thing. I used to be so even tempered and I’m having to take a lot of deep breaths while dealing with 3 year old at the minute!

The average age for progesterone levels starting to drop is 35 so absolutely that could be the reason. It's the calming hormone, also linked to sleep so insomnia, anxiety and mood swings, all v common

https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/health-her-perimenopause-mind-supplement-capsules-60059890 I found these and an evening primrose tablet daily helped a lot, especially with the short temper and the mind fog

Ask to go on the minimum level HRT patch (Evorel 25) and you will soon find out if it helps with the sleep. I gave up drinking completely as I felt it was affecting my sleep and I did have blood tests before I went on the patches. You’d probably need to increase the dose over time but this should give an indication of whether it is the lack of oestrogen within a couple of weeks.

i’ve had this for a couple of years now from around age 39/40- I went on combined pill as dr declined HRT as I was too ‘young’ and blood tests were normal- however as we all know hormones fluctuate and although in range what if there was a drop from what they had previously been, therefore not ‘normal’ for me?? The pill helped massively and felt like me again, but recently added in magnesium glycinate and ashwaganda supplements in evenings to help with anxiety and sleep and that really has helped. Also take vit D and evening primrose oil in mornings- I’ll be rattling but def feel the benefits of all this.

my mum had a horrendous menopause and the whole family got the brunt of it growing up so I don’t want to subject my hubby and kids to that! And also lots of health benefits to sainting good oestrogen for bone health as well, could be worth seeing another dr or a specialist to discuss??
The Davina McCall book on menopause is well worth a read/listen.

Defo could be. Try another doctor, it took me a number of doctors until I found one who had experience with perimenopause and she said there’s no guaranteed test and the best option is to trial HRT to see if it helps.

Also, if you are struggling with patience etc, it could be an idea to temporarily try anti-anxiety/anti-depressants, if your doctor thinks it could help whilst the peri-menopause is being investigated.

Maybe try a little internet research into HRT and Anti Anxiety etc, to see what you can find, as sometimes you have to go to your doctor armed with some research and what you want from the appointment.

Does perimenopause / menopause affect decision making?

I feel like I've made some daft decisions recently eg choosing to say things when I didn't have to / buying stuff I shouldn't have / agreeing things etc.

Some of it is my newly found "fuck it / off" attitude (which I kind of like but also need to learn to control) but some of it seems to be inability to think things through. I've always been somewhat impulsive/short sighted but it's stepped up recently. I did something recently and my husband said "what exactly did you think would happen? Didn't you learn last time?". That seems to be his mantra.

I have other perimenopause symptoms eg just typing this is making me want to cry!

Yes it could be a change in your hormones. Try looking at what you are eating, I’ve found not having processed food and sugars help massively and also cutting back on alcohol and caffeine. CBD oil helps too, supporting the liver - warm water with lemon first thing and lots of cruciferous veg (broccoli, cauliflower). Hope this helps- also do something that you enjoy doing - whether it’s walking in nature, reading, Pilates etc - this will help your mental wellbeing too.

Demand a blood test from your doctor and that will tell you for sure.

I asked and asked for one and was told i was just depressed, in the end i went to an emergency doctor and he gave me the blood test form. When the results came back it showed that i was halfway through menopause!

Symillar here.
What blood test I can request from GP??

For me, it was hayfever tablets making me feel exactly as you’ve described (side effect listed).
I stopped taking them and the irritability/ bad moods soon stopped.

Umm… “half way through”?! How would they know that from a blood test?!

Thanks so much everyone. It’s such a relief for people to understand as I do feel like I’ve been going a bit mad. I’ve been to the GP quite a few times but just getting fobbed off. From a female GP as well! I have been offered anti depressants but I really didn’t think it was depression - it didn’t make sense. I have some of the other symptoms such as really dry skin, a lot more tired than usual. My periods have changed but still monthly. I’ve been a lot more anxious. I’m going to ask for a blood test to check hormone levels!

I’ve ordered these to try, thank you! Would be amazing if they helped with my mood. I didn’t know something like this even existed! I’m

I’m 49 and in peri menopause but think it probably started in my early 40s similar to you, unfortunately bloods tests are rubbish as your hormone levels fluctuate massively through out the day so aren’t an accurate guide. Have a look at the Menopause matters app lots of info on what to expect and treatments. I’m on HRT now which has helped massively as I developed anxiety and panic attacks and overall felt like I was no longer myself. It’s rubbish but best advice is get well informed so you can argue the case with your doctor.

Thank you and sorry you’ve had such a nightmare with it too.

Any GP who offers a 43 year old woman antidepressants before HRT is an idiot frankly. Yes it's almost certainly peri. If I were you I would research the most common symptoms and go back saying you've got 9/10 of them even if you don't. Diagnosing peri and prescribing for it is a mystery to some doctors.

After doing some research, I’ve also come to this conclusion! I’m a bit wary of HRT as well, it’s the unknown element. Will it help or make it worse? I always hated using any pill for contraception as it tended to mess with my moods. If only I had confidence the doctor would work with to trial different things but really feel they want to just prescribe me a tablet to get rid of me!

How is HRT unknown? It's been used for decades. It's highly unlikely to make your symptoms worse.

Its to do with the FSH number.

I was the same OP. Started HRT 3 months ago which has made a big difference. Have a 4 and 6 year old and didn't want to be shouty mummy (bc of fluctuating moods).
Also had mood swings with the Pill previously and therefore have never used it for any length of time.
Insist the GP listens!

This post could literally have been written by me - 43, 2 kids, nice husband, good life.

I started HRT about a month ago after experiencing what you are describing, but also making a slow descent in to what I can only describe as hell.

It got to a point where I was crying at work nearly every day. I am not normally a crier and have a fairly high up job leading a team of 10. I reached a point where I was getting anxious about hanging out with friends I've known for decades, and took little pleasure in life in general.

I've been on patches for about 6 weeks and they have transformed me. I feel like me again. I can't begin to tell you how awful I felt but now I feel as tho I have found myself again.

My advice is go back to the dr, tell them when booking an appointment you want to talk about perimenopause and so speak to a Dr who has knowledge in this area. I also tracked my periods and symptoms which helped with getting medication. It has honestly been transformative. I think I would have gone mad without it.