Perimenopause?

[Orangetree42]

I’m 43, have a full time job, 2 lovely kids and a pretty on the ball husband. We don’t have any major struggles just normal life chugging along. Recently, I have been really struggling with my emotions, finding it hard to have patience with the kids and am really irritable and grumpy. I hate this and don’t want to feel this way. I’ve been trying to eat healthily and exercise as much as I have time for ( could be more but lots on with kids/ house and job) I don’t feel particularly stressed at work or anything. I’ve been trying to get lots of sleep but nothing is helping.

Has anyone experienced this? Can anyone tell me if this is perimenopause and what could help? It’s really getting me down. I want to enjoy time with the kids and family. The GP has been spectacularly unhelpful up to this point!

I’m so glad this has worked for you and you are back to yourself. I’m going to persevere with the doctor and insist that they take me seriously!

This is it I don’t want to be shouty mummy and definitely struggling with a short fuse. Hard when I’m trying to teach my 3 year old to manage his emotions!

Not in every case obviously but a lot of the reason that the contraceptive pill doesn’t agree with people is due to the progestogen, with the cheaper/older first generation ones being androgenic which affect many people adversely.

HRT is now well researched and if you go for topical patch/gel that goes in your skin (and not through the liver) for the oestrogen then it is much safer and you can adjust the dose easier with the gel I.e 1 pump or 2 incrementally depending on your needs rather than with just a pill. You would need a progestogen assuming you haven’t had hysterectomy so that would be a pill or the mirena coil usually.

Def worth looking into and speaking to a GP again once you’ve done your homework- our bodies were made to live with oestrogen and has so many important benefits for us. It starts to gradually decline at age 30 so is a v slow process until you work out you’re really not yourself anymore in your 40’s!!

I am 40 and my physio recently told me she thought I should ask about perimenopause - I hadn’t done so. Then recently went to the GP about another unrelated issue. She asked if anything else was going on (loads, I have multiple chronic illnesses and am disabled!) but I told her I’ve been having a lot of bad memory issues and brain fog recently which is so unlike me.

She burst out laughing and said “Kurotora dear, you’re 40, you’re not in the menopause!” No one had mentioned or even hinted at it. I feel awful for anyone trying to genuinely get help when this is the kind of reaction in the medical establishment. It certainly put me off ever following through with the recommendation of talking about it.

But in peri your FSH will keep changing. You could be lucky and have bloods done in a month your levels are well over ten on day 3(premenopausal level) and your GP takes that as licence to prescribe HRT. You could just as easily get them done on a month or several months where they are around ten and a GP will dismiss. A series of bloods over time paints a clearer picture of you are under the 5,if over 45 you don't need bloods to rule in peri if your thyroid etc isn't shown to be the cause of symptoms.
I had bloods done over approx 12 moths at 34 as part of a diagnosis of premature ovarian insufficiency/failure, first FSH was 90 odd, a post menopausal level. I had varying results over time between that and less than ten, no real symptoms bar erratic periods and was post menopausal by 38

@kurotora thats awful 😞 I get so angry when I hear about women being dismissed like that. I was lucky that the (young, male) GP I saw when I requested help for the perimenopause listened to me and took me seriously.

My experience was very much like @PeppermintOstrich’s - a slow descent into hell is sadly a pretty accurate description. HRT has been an absolute godsend, it hasn’t ‘cured’ me and I now accept that I’ll never be the person I was before, but it has helped enormously nonetheless.

Check out the support group on Facebook - ‘The Menopause Support Network’ Really helpful and supportive, run by menopause nurses so they know their stuff. Will give you advice to go to your doctor with, cos as we know, they can be dismissive of the menopause :(