If you've called dinner... How long will you wait for people before starting to eat?

[tnorfotkcab]

So... DH was moaning that we hadn't waited for him at dinner.
He was working in his car, gave him a 10 minute warning, he said "ok" and was doing something like changing a sensor - not dirty, could be left half way through etc... DD called to him again once DS was putting dishes on table. He shouted "yeah, ok".
We then had a minute or two and put all dishes out, DD had set table, I got drinks, salt and pepper etc.

We all sat down and waited a few minutes... DH nowhere to be seen so we started helping ourselves.

DH turns up maybe 10 minutes after we sat down and moaned we hadn't waited for him...! Cheeky fucker.

So anyway, how long do you usually wait for everyone to get to the table?

I feel like I’ve wandered into some 1970s tv show on this thread… jeez. Is it really still ‘women cook and fuss, and men do wtf they like’ in modern households? How depressing.

I find it’s disrespectful if someone has cooked and other people can’t be arsed to head straight to it when called. A minute or so max.

I don’t wait. It’s disrespectful to the person who has cooked. If he’s on a work call, I will delay dishing up until he’s finished, but if he’s just faffing it’s disrespectful.

2 mins max

DH is main cook. He gives a 10 or 15 minute warning, then shouts "Ready!" then he dishes up and sits down to eat, regardless of whether everyone else is there.

Your DH had multiple reminders. He is totally unreasonable.

This is my bug bear too I like to call everyone five mins beforehand but then my husband still has to get up to go to the loo etc while I wait! I will wait a couple of minutes if I've given warning but no longer I find it rude when I've been cooking that people can't get to the table on time.

A couple of mins max! DS2 in particular is an absolute pain for not turning up when requested, even with pre warning. So no, we don’t wait long at all!

If people don’t come when dinner is called, I tuck in. It’s rude to dawdle to the table. Especially when I’ve spent time cooking the meal.

We don't start until everyone is seated. Everyone in this house knows when dinner will be ready and they are given a call five minutes beforehand. They come on time because they know that otherwise others will have been kept waiting and their food will be getting cold. It is exceptionally bad mannered not to come when expected. My mother wouldn't have stood for it and neither did my grandmother before her.

This was an area of friction between MIL and I in the early days. She was gobsmacked that we waited whilst she and FIL faffed. My response was that they were told when dinner would be ready and were given a five minute call. They therefore kept everyone waiting. "Oh well it always took Jane, Ann and Peter so long to come to the table we started without them". My response, "I expect my DC not to rudely keep others waiting".

I won't wait. We would just eat. Why would I let mine and dc dinner go cold

I give a five minute warning, then whoever has has turned up makes a start as soon as it's served. I wouldn't want food going cold.

If I’m making dinner I will tell the family what time I expect it to be ready, announce just before it is ready, and then announce when it is actually ready. People should start making their way to the table at the “almost ready announcement”. We start immediately. I don’t eat cold food. If someone can’t be bothered to respect the work I put in, then I am not going to wait for them

This. It drives me potty, I find it quite insulting.

I call before I dish up. I dish up including mine last. Then I start eating immediately. If I have cooked I am eating mine warm.

Ds once didn’t deign to come for a while when I had made him a separate meal. (He is fussy with food.) So now he gets no special meals cooked for him.

This is very annoying. My DP is a self-employed builder (so totallyin controlof his workinghours). I've lost count of the number of times HE rings ME to tell me what time he'll be home, I make dinner for that time + 10 minutes so he can wash hands/chill for a few, and then he arrives home late. Sometimes an hour plus late. With no follow up call.
I decided, after this happening a couple of times, that I wouldn't wait, and now I just go ahead and eat. And he can serve himself when he gets back.

Another rule i introduced once my kids (now grown up and long gone) were old enough to fetch a drink/sauce/whatever they suddenly desperately needed - once I'd served everyone's food and sat down myself, I wasn't getting up again until I'd finished eating.

I don't wait. I say tea is ready, leave everyone else's in the kitchen as they all have different seasoning, sauce, condiments I can't be arsed with organising, grab my plate and get tucked into it 😆.

How long do I wait? I don't! I think it is so rude for people to not come when they are called, shows a lack of respect for those who have cooked and those sitting to eat. My BIL frequently doesn't respond or acknowledge the first call and it annoys the shitte out of me.

I call twice at a maximum and then I eat. My husband has an annoying habit of faffing around once I’ve called.

My husbands a pillok for this so I shout ‘twas ready’ about 8 minutes before it actually is, then we eat when it’s ready

‘‘Twas ready!! Haaaa obviously I meant TEA!

This is what it is. It’s a status thing. He wants to be the paterfamilias who turns up when he’s ready and his family wait for his presence. He’s annoyed you didn’t play along.

He’ll turn up quicker next time. You waited longer than necessary. Maybe in future shout out ‘dinner in ten minutes, starting to eat in twelve minutes’.

I don't/wouldn't wait.
If I have (sometimes) spent hours preparing a meal I assume everyone has had enough time to fanny around and has no reason to delay proceedings!

I give a 10-ish minute advance call because I have a houseful of nd people who need transition time.

I don’t wait once it’s done. Anyone sitting to the table on time is entitled to hot, fresh food and the best choice if it’s buffet style.

It’s the height of disrespect to the cook to ruin a meal by not coming to the table.

If I’ve already given a ten minute warning and dinner is at the normal time, I’d wait precisely zero minutes.