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Original poster

If you've called dinner... How long will you wait for people before starting to eat?

101 replies

tnorfotkcab · 17/05/2025 07:39

So... DH was moaning that we hadn't waited for him at dinner.
He was working in his car, gave him a 10 minute warning, he said "ok" and was doing something like changing a sensor - not dirty, could be left half way through etc... DD called to him again once DS was putting dishes on table. He shouted "yeah, ok".
We then had a minute or two and put all dishes out, DD had set table, I got drinks, salt and pepper etc.

We all sat down and waited a few minutes... DH nowhere to be seen so we started helping ourselves.

DH turns up maybe 10 minutes after we sat down and moaned we hadn't waited for him...! Cheeky fucker.

So anyway, how long do you usually wait for everyone to get to the table?

OP posts:
Needlesnah · 17/05/2025 08:01

LeavesOnTrees · 17/05/2025 07:40

Not as long as you did.

👆🏻

Original poster
tnorfotkcab · 17/05/2025 08:02

I did very happily make sure we all got the best roasties 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
BruceAndNosh · 17/05/2025 08:03

Whichever one of us is cooking yells a 5 minute warning. Once it's on the table I won't wait more than a minute. Unless it's an already cold meal

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 17/05/2025 08:03

tnorfotkcab · 17/05/2025 08:02

I did very happily make sure we all got the best roasties 🤣🤣🤣

Good! It’s his problem he was slow!

He's being a dick.

DontKnowMuchAboutHistoryDontKnowMuchBiology · 17/05/2025 08:04

LeavesOnTrees · 17/05/2025 07:40

Not as long as you did.

☝️

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 17/05/2025 08:04

I am willing to bet that this is one of the main causes of resentment in women in long term relationships with children.

I come from a family of non-waiters. DH doesn’t. It’s been fun (not!) You have to talk about it and lay down some ground rules. Wish I’d done it sooner, but heyho, that’s personal growth for you!

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 17/05/2025 08:04

TeenToTwenties · 17/05/2025 07:41

If I have given fair warning then I don't wait more than a minute or so.
If they aren't there they are the ones being rude, not me for starting.

This

littlemissprosseco · 17/05/2025 08:07

Depends what I’ve cooked!!
They’re often hovering and stealing bits while I’m cooking and they’re helping lay/ serve up. It also depends how many are home. The more, the quicker they get to the table!!

SummerFeverVenice · 17/05/2025 08:13

I will wait for as long as it takes for me to load up my plate. I can’t stand lukewarm food. I also think it is disrespectful to take 5-10mins to come to dinner especially since it is at the same exact time every day. My DH often is late and he will complain he is eating alone and has no one to talk to as I’m often up and doing dishes by the time he deigns to come and eat.

Original poster
tnorfotkcab · 17/05/2025 08:17

littlemissprosseco · 17/05/2025 08:07

Depends what I’ve cooked!!
They’re often hovering and stealing bits while I’m cooking and they’re helping lay/ serve up. It also depends how many are home. The more, the quicker they get to the table!!

Oh god the pinching if food when I'm cooking/dishing up. Drives me CRAZY 🤣

OP posts:
BrightOrangeDahlias · 17/05/2025 08:19

I tell DH when I'm starting to cook dinner, and depending on what he's doing he'll say "give me 30 / 15 / 5 minutes warning" or whatever - i.e. longer if he's doing something messy / complicated that needs a bit of clearing up time, less if he's on the computer working. I give him the agreed warning and if he doesn't appear, tough shit.

DH does the same in reverse to me if he's the one cooking.

Anywherebuthere · 17/05/2025 08:20

Wait for what?
If dinner is on the table why wait for it to go cold? Just eat.

Original poster
tnorfotkcab · 17/05/2025 08:22

Anywherebuthere · 17/05/2025 08:20

Wait for what?
If dinner is on the table why wait for it to go cold? Just eat.

We generally follow the rule of; everyone sat down, say thanks to the cook, then we eat.

OP posts:
mumda · 17/05/2025 08:22

We had a bicycle horn for a while. That worked well.
I wonder where it went.

Stickortwigs · 17/05/2025 08:25

I’d be cross if I’d made dinner, given someone a warning, told them it was now ready and they didn’t come pretty much immediately.

I don’t think you’re the one in the wrong!

DappledThings · 17/05/2025 08:32

We don't really. We give fair warning. But I'm like a PP's husband and like to quickly wash up pans before eating. Only takes a couple of minutes and much nicer than having it all to do at the end so I might be a tiny bit behind the rest of them.

I have no concept of food getting too cold! I'm not bothered by temperature of it at all unless it's too hot and Im having to wait for it to cool down.

AndrogynousElf · 17/05/2025 08:35

About 10 seconds. It’s very rude not to come to the table straight away once dinner is called.

Chewbecca · 17/05/2025 08:39

I wouldn't wait at all, beyond time to wash his hands. He is totally in the wrong for expecting you to let the dinner you have (lovingly) cooked go cold, it's disrespectful to you, and the food! I'd be tempted to throw it in the bin, but would never actually do that because again it would be disrespectful to my food!

Kurokurosuke · 17/05/2025 08:41

LeavesOnTrees · 17/05/2025 07:40

Not as long as you did.

same! Waaay less than that!

itsgettingweird · 17/05/2025 08:42

You have a 10 minute warning and then it was at least minutes before you ate.

Your DH is taking the piss.

I tell ds I’m cooking and how long it’ll take. I call him as I’m dishing up and call him when dished up.

He’s an adult and if he’s chosen to be gaming with his headphones on and cannot hear me I crack on and eat!!

Id like to say it’s changed his ways (it hasn’t but poss due to his ASD).

But he’s highly intelligent - could follow the advice I’ve given him of he’d change what he always does - and I’ll be blowed if I’m going to get him and eat a cold meal!

Amberlynnswashcloth · 17/05/2025 08:54

As you did, I'd give a few minutes warning then an "its ready" call. If I heard signs of anyone coming to the table eg, things being switched off, hand washing, coming down the stairs, then I'd wait a minute or so. If silence I'd crack on.

RickiRaccoon · 17/05/2025 09:02

You don't wait. Exactly as you did: a warning of when you think it'll be ready and then the 'get to the table now' announcement and then you eat. If DH didn't turn up, that's on him. The whole family doesn't have to have cold food because he's mucking around.

DilemmaDelilah · 17/05/2025 09:06

When I have my family round (children are adults and have their own children) we have a routine whereby about 5 minutes before the food will be on the table I suggest that the little ones go and wash their hands before lunch. This reminds the adults to do anything they need to do before we eat. Then before I put the food on the table I ask everyone to sit down. Once everyone is sitting at the table and the food is there they can help themselves to food (we are a food in dishes rather than a plated up family) and once everyone at the table has their food we start eating. The only exception would be if it was a birthday or something and the missing person was the birthday boy/girl (and that would NEVER happen!)

To be quite honest - everyone is always so keen to eat that the only thing that would hold them up would be an urgent visit to the loo.... everyone gets warning we are about to eat so it wouldn't be something that could be put off. We do have 3 loos so even with a houseful there is always time for everyone to 'go'.

Deeppuddles · 17/05/2025 09:28

Here everyone gets a 10 mins warning and then a max 2 mins once the food is on the table and served.

minipie · 17/05/2025 09:31

I don’t wait. I expect people to come when called within 1-2 min especially if given a warning previously.

Your DH was very rude to be so late to the table IMO. You’ve cooked, it’s only polite to turn up when the food is ready and hot. He’s trying to deflect from this by turning it round and being angry with you for not waiting.