Dreamt I killed someone

[lamonad]

Had a horrible dream last night. The city was under attack by terrorists and in the distance there was an explosion and I randomly killed this child. I won’t go into detail about how or the graphics of it but it turned my stomach. In my dream, at the time of doing this I didn’t know who it was. But later I realised it was my eldest son and was balling my eyes out and felt so guilty in my dream.
but then later on my son was in my dream and I was relieved that it actually wasn’t him and he was still alive.

It was so disturbing and I feel so bad in real life. Obviously I know it’s not real. But has anyone else had a similar dream? I’m confused as to what this means

for context about life right now, we have a younger DS 8 weeks old and I guess I’ve been feeling guilty and feeling the majority of my time is spent with DS2 as I’m breastfeeding and he won’t settle with DH. My husband is spending a lot of time with DS1 and yesterday we all went to the park and for the first time I was able to hand DS2 to DH and I played for a good 30 mins with DS1 which I could tell he loved. I have been feeling really guilty recently about not spending as much time with DS1 so was really nice to do this finally

but who did I kill in my dream and does anyone have any idea what this signifies?

It doesn’t signify anything, OP. I once dreamed I’d had sex with my father. Other than waking up horrified and wondering where my brain had produced thst delightful image from, it ‘meant’ nothing at all. I don’t have repressed incestuous desires. My dad isn’t a predator.

Aren't brains weird things?! I have had dreams of acting very violently to other people, with lots of blood and gore everywhere. I think that most dreams reflect being frustrated at something in your life.
Apart from the one where you are desperate to pee and can't find a clean toilet. That one just means you need to wake up and have a pee.

If I was going to be all woo woo about it, I'd say you are a bit fed up with children and child care at the moment but that doesn't mean you are a potential child murderer.

Ah I murdered someone, chopped them up and made them into sausages which I then put in the freezer. I'm a vegetarian😂 and haven't eaten a sausage in years! I have no murderous feelings... but I do have sometimes wild dreams!

Dreaming of death is often the sign of a new beginning @lamonad Not a bad thing. Don't feel bad.

I’m a believer in the idea that dreams often fall into 2 categories, nonsense dreams and dreams that might give an insight into something that’s lurking deep in your brain. The people you see in dreams are sometimes symbols, so for example if you dream about your dad, your dad might symbolise security or safety (or the exact opposite). Your child might represent nurturing, maternal love or something else.

The point is, if you dreamt you killed your child, it’s not some kind of horrible secret, subconscious wish! It could possibly just be a reflection of what you’ve already mentioned, a desire to balance things out between your sons and make sure both get your love and attention.

I don’t think you need to worry about it. ☺️

I have a recurring dream that I have killed someone (though I never see it happen) and I need to work out whether to admit to it or get rid of the body. My whole dream is this dilemma. It doesn't make for a restful night!

I’ve had so many of these dreams.
Its never been a child, but I’ve morphed into a murderer multiple times in my dreams 😵‍💫

One time, I dreamed that my dad had been cheating on my mum, I found out about it and beat my own father to death 🫣🫣🫣
To my knowledge, my dad has never and would never cheat on her 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh, OP, you are living such a difficult time 🙏 I think you may be spot on in your own interpretation of the dream. Our subconscious mind certainly has a way to call for our attention, hasn't she? 😅
Take it slowly and have compassion for yourself: you are now in the thick of it, learning to be a mother of two. You'll get there 😊

(I always recommend the podcast "This jungian life" and their brilliant dream interpretations. If you feel curious about dreams, it's fascinating!)

I see very weird dreams if I am really tired. The more tired the weirder dreams. I wouldn’t worry about it.

This is exactly DH’s recurring dream! It must be quite a common one

I agree with @NameChangedOfc that you've basically explained the dream yourself.

Your world has been invaded - a baby isn't quite a terrorist but has the same attribute of impossible to negotiate with. You're prepared to do all kinds of desperate things. You've stopped recognising your older child's needs and without realising it you're ruining his life. Except that another part of your brain has realised that actually you haven't and he will be okay.

A little while ago I had a dream that I did something ABSOLUTELY DREADFUL. I can't even remember what it was now but I took the decision quite deliberately. The dream involved zombies and, even less believably, me half-way competently wielding a projectile weapon.

This is what I wrote at the time.

Spent some time wondering what dreadful darkness was in my subconscious to make it suggest I might do such a terrible thing, before realising:
I may irl be all blasé about our forthcoming empty nest, but my subconscious is adamant that from its point of view I would - without a moment's thought - do something hideous that would destroy several lives, the structure of the world as I know it, and my own happiness and sense of self, in order to keep my children safe.

Well that did make me laugh and I’m ashamed to say I had a dream once that I got it on with my own mother!

I’m in agreement that dreams don’t signify anything! At least that’s how I justify it to myself!

I dreamt the Chinese military invaded one of our local parks and nothing else in my home city.
Dreams are weird 😴

The dream sounds a symbolic representation of what's going on right now. You accidentally killed him in the dream in the same way the new baby has meant he's not been as close to you. Or that you haven't been paying him enough attention and so didn't know if was him when you shot him. And now you have spent time with him and feel reconnected and that's the bit of the dream where you find out he isn't dead after all.

I’ve had a dream where I’ve murdered someone and was been trying to cover the dismembered head in the loft of a house some boys I went to school with. Disturbed me for ages, I kept wondering why and what it meant, it was so vivid I still remember it. I also had a dream I had sex with my dad and that was graphic too. It was about a week after I’d dreamt I’d had an steamy night with George Osborne. Goodness knows what goes in our brains.

Sorry this properly made me chuckle 🤣

Dreams aren’t literal so it might be there is a tenuous link - for example, that you’re so worried that something happens to your own son and that you are responsible.

A few nights ago, I dreamt that I was having a relationship with Richard Osman. In my dream we went through the entire lifespan of a relationship and alongside that I was spending time with my own husband in my dream lying to him and pretending that this celebrity affair was not taking place. Can I just tell you, I don’t fancy Richard Osman and even in my dream my brain was going nooooooo. I woke up feeling totally disturbed and my husband was mystified by my need to confess my non affair in the morning 😆

Put your dream down to sleep deprivation, catastrophising, stress, whatever - u don’t need to bring in any literal meaning.

I had a recurring dream that I had killed someone and had to hide the body. It was so scary that I'd be found out and I kept trying to hide what I'd done and the body from other people.
At the same time I had fallen out with my Father in RL as he had done something really stupid to my Mum. I'd never fallen out with him before, in fact being the youngest and a girl, Dad and I were close. So I never spoke to him for a year. Then 1 night I dreamed I hadn't killed anybody and the 'body' was a set of overalls with wellys on that I'd mistaken for a body.
My Father by this time had apologised to my Mum and they had made up.
So it seems I was processing all that had happened with Mum and Dad and I was mourning the death of my relationship with Dad but once that was resolved so did the dream.
I've never had the dream since.

I think you've interpreted your dream already OP. So much going on, plus new baby. The news doesn't help with what's going on in the world!

I actually don't think I've ever dreamed of killing someone. There's always someone after me though. I get shot quite a lot. That's the wake up in a panic bit.
Aeroplanes quite often crash near me. I always have a narrow escape from being hit by the debris.
My most common dream though is huge seas, massive incoming waves and tidal waves.

I love sleep 😭

I am chortling so hard over your steamy night with George Osborne! I had a dream once in which Dominic Raab (?!?!) was aggressively flirting with me and I felt weirdly fluttery about him all the next day. And another in which Elon Musk (!!!!!!!!) was wooing me in an insanely needy way like a deranged toddler and I was both desperately trying to distract him so I could talk to my actual child and also desperate to keep his attention. Didn’t feel anything about him the next day though beyond a vague sense that I’d had a lucky escape.

Myself and my coworkers were in the dispensary at work fighting off a horde of zombies once, another time I was in prison and the prison governor was my manager! Says alot about how I sometimes feel about work😂😂

OP I’ve had several dreams in which I’ve murdered someone and hidden the body but (as in one dream) THE ANIMALS KNOW (wtf?) or (in another) people keep nearly stumbling over the corpse. It’s always when I’m feeling guilty about something. I’m sure that’s all it is here too. You’re stressed and you feel you’re letting down and hurting your darling first child. It’s very normal (I remember grieving for the lovely relationship I’d had with my first child when the second came along and turned it upside down) and it gets so, so much easier. Hang on in there, it sounds like you’re doing a great job.

When I dream about the house flooding I'm stressed - Always just below knee height up stairs and downstairs but weird only about half an inch deep going down the stairs, never getting deeper. There are fish - like the ones from bedknobs and broomsticks cartoon ones 🤔

Oh wow thank you so much. I feel much better about it after reflecting on it and reading a lot of your replies that agree with my interpretation of it so I’ve put it to bed now (pun intended).
yes our situation is shit at the moment but I just keep telling myself it’s only temporary (DS2 being so young and dependent on me that is - not having 2 children 😂) and it will get better.

@GravyBootsI have a recurring dream about planes crashing except I’m on the plane. It takes off and it can’t get up to altitude and starts plummeting and it always crashes in the same field surrounded by houses. I’m always ok but it’s very scary

I’ve loved reading everyone dreams. the flirty dreams with famous people made me laugh 😂 I haven’t had any like that before

dreams are very weird indeed!