DNA

[Throwaway251]

Dd has recently managed to contact her father, she's 14. They have never seen each other . He wants a DNA which is fine. But he needs a copy of my passport . I don't mind doing it. But is there any risks in me sending him a copy?

I’d be wanting to see the policy from the DNA lab that requires a copy of your passport before I gave it to him. ETA, I still wouldn’t give it to him, but I’d forward it to the lab if I could see they needed it.

I thought for a moment that it might be because your DD is still a child, but your passport wouldn’t demonstrate that you were her parent.

I would be doing it through a reputable company. The sort that does the collection directly. Then you can bring your passport on the day of the collection if necessary.

It's him that wants to do it . And I can't really tell him what to do.

Well no, but he can't tell you what to do either.

Maybe tell him you need to see a copy of the paperwork from this organisation which shows that your passport is being asked for. I don't see what possible reason they could have for needing it. They are testing him and her to see whether they are related. Maybe they might need your permission to do the test as you are her parent and she is still a child, but what they would need your passport for is anyone's guess.

He's ok i have sorted it. Turns out I can do a copy of my bank card.

I don't understand either really. It says my signature must be clear . What would they be comparing it to. They don't have my contact details so can't contact me to say is this you. Do you give consent .

I’d be more worried about sending a copy of my bank card than my passport tbh. Especially the signature strip with the CVC on it. Why do they need it?

Apprently it's proof of consent. I'm going to cover the cvc . Its also a card I don't use. There's nothing in the account.

I used to work in a bank. I would strongly advise against doing this.

In the nicest, most supportive way, are you mad? You’re going to send off a copy of your bank card to God only knows who? Why do they need your signature? You could send them anything; it’s not proof of identity. Have you googled this company? Are they even legit? They sound really dodgy.

How do you know it’s his DNA he will be sending ?

I did worry about that. But then surely if he was planning that he wouldn't be chatting to dd and messaging her every day.

It is a bank card that's not in use . That's why I thought it would be ok? Its boots dna

This really doesn’t sound legit, OP. The results of this test are literally life changing for your DD, so as her mother, I would be taking full control over who does the test and how it is carried out. And from a security point of view, I wouldn’t be sending copies of my passport or bank card to anyone

He wants to do it himself . I can't force him to let me do it. Then if I don't give ID it looks like im trying to stop it. I will do some goggling today see if I can find one that doesn't ask for ID,

I’d be going to a place where you can see him do it.
Then if you need to sign anything you can do it there. Also why do you need to prove your ID ?

Dear heaven.

Why not just include a set of your house and car keys?

Summary
Legal Tests: Mother ID is required if she is providing consent for the child.
Peace of Mind Tests: Mother’s ID is not required if she is not participating and the consenting party has parental responsibility.

It is s essential to consult with the specific DNA testing provider to understand their requirements, as practices may vary.

I’d go through a court.

As i said I can't make him do things a certain way. And it may be the costs. I don't understand the ID thing at all.

I get what your saying. That's why I'm not comfortable. That's why I was going to use a bank card i dont use. Blank out the long number and security code. But it still doesn't make sense.

Thank you. Did you copy this from somewhere?

That's money I don't have. And I doubt he does.

STOP. STOP. STOP.
Things aren’t making sense, you’re unsure as to why what you’re being asked to provide is needed. But you’re close to providing them anyway.

this is how people get defrauded. There are warning signs and they don’t feel things are right but they plough on anyway as they think ‘well it must be ok and just something I don’t understand’.

you aren’t blocking him from getting a DNA test to simply say, you don’t feel comfortable sending a copy of your signature which proves nothing and you could fake anyway without some direct contact with the company if they need your permission.

FYI your signature is valuable and could still open you up to fraud and identify theft if combined with other data gathered about you in cyber attacks where your personal data has been stolen. And virtually everyone who has transacted online has had some of their personal data stolen.

OP just be very careful what your doing here. This is a man who has not been in your lives for 14 years at least, you can not trust him. I agree with PP's and would say not to send any documents or identifying information. Surely you should be able sign the documents yourself via e-sign or post. There is absolutely no reason at all that he needs this information himself.

Regardless of whether this is an unused bank card. With technology now, what is stopping him cropping/editing/practicing your signature and adding it to anything, essentially committing fraud? Also how is he expecting to get your DD's DNA?

Its concerning that you really aren't thinking any of this through and sound quite breezy about this. He is a stranger and, whilst it's not clear, you do not know this man. Despite paternity answers, your DD's wellbeing and your own security in this should be paramount! Take some control here.

Seriously? Why is no one asking why OP is allowing her 14 year old "daily chats" with a man who may or may not be her Dad?

OP why are you allowing this? Are you monitoring these chats? What support is in place to help her deal with this?