Colleagues partner has asked me to help book a surprise holiday

[freakinthespreadsheets]

My colleagues partner who i know socially has asked me to contact our mutual manager and ask for colleague's annual leave to be moved a few days earlier for a surprise trip (that's the only days the rest of the family can make).

I know colleague already struggled to get the time off that she does have booked, as it's our super busy period (lots of deadlines all happening within the space of 2 weeks) and usually it's a no-go for AL for anyone. They made an exception for this as it's colleagues big birthday but they already told her she couldn't be off any earlier as most of the deadlines that affect her work would be in the first few days of the 2 week window. The rest will be covered by me on top of my own quite big workload over that period. The work can't be frontloaded before that 2 weeks starts as the thing we are working on won't have started so we won't have final numbers yet.

I'm uncomfortable doing it as I know the rules and think I'd look silly for even asking. Is there a way I can avoid upsetting my friend and trying to be helpful without actually asking my manager?

No they can do the contacting. I wouldn't be getting involved.

Just say that unfortunately you can’t book holiday on behalf of someone

job done. No biggie

The only way I think you can get out of this (which you really should) without them thinking you are being unhelpful, would be to say that your involvement would make the manager more likely to say no than if the partner called them up and asked.

Thanks guys. Unfortunately our work doesn't have landlines (we work remotely) and colleagues partner wouldn't know managers email address so I can't really say "do it yourself" hence why he asked me. I guess ill have to go with the "he'll be more likely to say no if i asked"

No it may be a surprise but her arranging it with work won't ruin the surprise. Even if her partner was management and ran the holiday schedule doing it through you wouldn't make an ounce of difference as theyd know either way.

They are trying every which way to wangle holiday that will be difficult or impossible to get hoping you'll do their dirty work.

Just no. CF.

Sort of an aside I really don't understand why grown adults get so hung up over a specific date. It really doesn't matter if you don't celebrate something on the day. Little.kids with Christmas Day birthdays manage it most years and those born on 29th February three in every four. Just celebrate when it's convenient.

Can you ask the manager if they mind having their email passed on to your colleagues partner explaining the background? Then they can deal with it

You don’t need to do that

all you need to say is “afraid I can’t book holiday on behalf of someone else”

job done

Surely you've answered the question already though:

I know colleague already struggled to get the time off that she does have booked, as it's our super busy period (lots of deadlines all happening within the space of 2 weeks) and usually it's a no-go for AL for anyone. They made an exception for this as it's colleagues big birthday but they already told her she couldn't be off any earlier as most of the deadlines that affect her work would be in the first few days of the 2 week window.

So your DP needs to be reminded that in fact, when she asked for the leave, she was told it wasn't convenient and the business has already done a huge compromise to facilitate her big birthday.

I'm probably projecting but this does rather smack of a DP who thinks his partner's work isn't that important.

Thank you, that's what it feels like. "We've been told no, so hoping you'll try and make it happen for us".

Ive got a much better reputation/capital to spend for this sort of thing than colleague does as I've been here a long time and always been reliable. I have once had holiday during a busier period (not the main busiest period colleague wants off) but I gave over a years notice, it was a course where I had no control over the date. I stayed late on the few days before it started and worked over the weekend to front end all the work I could to minimise impact on colleagues. Which colleague wouldn't be able to do with AL they didn't know they were having, and it would fall to me to sort.

Incidentally my own birthday is in the only other no-go AL week of the year. I've never had it off. I'm an adult, I'll celebrate at the weekend. I don't understand it either.

Thank you, yes I did mention to the partner that i didn't think it was likely to work as they'd already been told no.
They are a lesbian couple, no kids (so I don't think it's a 'woman's work is less than mine' type of issue).
I would love to help my friend and think it's a lovely idea but i resent the idea that they want me to help when it would only increase MY workload over that period. I don't understand why it's so important that it couldn't be booked for another time and the tickets given as the birthday present or something.

This should say she* asked me (typo)

Can you not just say this:
"I know colleague already struggled to get the time off that she does have booked, as it's our super busy period (lots of deadlines all happening within the space of 2 weeks) and usually it's a no-go for AL for anyone. They made an exception for this as it's colleagues big birthday but they already told her she couldn't be off any earliersorry I can't help any further!"

I don't think being involved in a surprise trip is a good idea. Some people love them, some don't.

You are creating a mountain out of a molehill

in the time you have spent on this thread, you could have dropped him a line

“I’d like to help but can’t book holiday on behalf of someone else unfortunately”

Shes not asking me to book it for her. Shes asking me to ask the manager to book it for her. Obviously the manager has the power to prescribe AL dates if they wanted.
I'm trying not to offend my friend or seem unhelpful. I'm autistic so struggle with navigating such situations.

yes op

which is basically you booking her leave isn’t it. The manager can’t book on the basis of any request aside from the employee herself

it really is pretty simple

I wouldn't say 'he'll mostly likely say no'. I'd just say that the only person who can book leave is the employee themselves, and leave it at that.

There is no way where I work that people could have leave booked for them on behalf of a partner, without their knowledge - nobody knows whether someone has a partner who is controlling or abusive, for example, and whether the employee actually wants the leave.

exactly

It really is very straightforward

Ok I thought the manager could use the rule that managers can tell employees when to take leave. That's what I thought colleagues partner was getting at. Sorry

Utterly inappropriate

so all you do is msg back

“would like to help but no can do as manager will only engage with employee direct re any annual leave requests or issues or requirements”

I would just speak to the manager. Not to request the leave as such but just to relay the message you've had. Then you can just relay the response (presumably 'sorry but no') back to the partner. Job done.

Incidentally, where I work I can see my booked annual leave so if it changed I would notice, think it was a mistake and ask for it to be corrected - is that not a possibility where you work? If it is, you could just explain to the partner there's no way of doing this secretly anyway.

Your colleague's partner needs to contact the Manager themselves, and ask. There is absolutely no reason why you should be involved at all. You need to perhaps give the partner your Managers work number or email address, and tell them to collect him/her directly, as you'll be a third party and don't really need to be involved.

Thank you sorry for not understanding

No I meant it would be utterly inappropriate for you to have a word with your manager about this

talk about mountain. Molehill

It's not OK for anyone to book leave on behalf of anyone. Annual leave is limited and precious. No sane employer would accept a request from an employee's partner or friend, because the employee themselves might, quite rightly, be furious. These are employee rights, not "employee's partner's rights". The partner just has to grow up and accept that they cannot interfere like this.

Honestly, it's like she thinks she can just book her partner out of the office like borrowing a library book!