Colleagues partner has asked me to help book a surprise holiday

[freakinthespreadsheets]

My colleagues partner who i know socially has asked me to contact our mutual manager and ask for colleague's annual leave to be moved a few days earlier for a surprise trip (that's the only days the rest of the family can make).

I know colleague already struggled to get the time off that she does have booked, as it's our super busy period (lots of deadlines all happening within the space of 2 weeks) and usually it's a no-go for AL for anyone. They made an exception for this as it's colleagues big birthday but they already told her she couldn't be off any earlier as most of the deadlines that affect her work would be in the first few days of the 2 week window. The rest will be covered by me on top of my own quite big workload over that period. The work can't be frontloaded before that 2 weeks starts as the thing we are working on won't have started so we won't have final numbers yet.

I'm uncomfortable doing it as I know the rules and think I'd look silly for even asking. Is there a way I can avoid upsetting my friend and trying to be helpful without actually asking my manager?

I’d just be honest- I can’t do that, I thought you realised our manager is already making an exception for X, and they said at the time it couldn’t be any earlier. I know you want to do a nice thing for x but I don’t think you realise how much it will already impact everyone else in the team, and especially me to be honest. There’s a reason no leave is usually allowed at this period.

Eew.

How can you be sure there isn't domestic violence or coercion?
How can you know she doesn't intend to break up with him?
Maybe colleague plans to use the leave for something else.
Plus a 100.000 other reasons.
Partners have zero standing to interfere in professional relationships including holidays.

"Sorry, no, I certainly would not consider either of us to have standing to manage Bernadette's work life like this. Thanks for understanding. Bye."

PS: Ask A Manager, the workplace advice column website, is a fantastic resource for learning social norms about the workplace, especially if you struggle with these, as she is compassionate, clear, and always explains the reasoning behind her advice.

I have done this before for someone - just passed the request onto the manager and provided colleague’s husband’s contact info. I can’t even remember if it was granted now but that was my involvement

Ive got a much better reputation/capital to spend for this sort of thing than colleague does as I've been here a long time and always been reliable.

So this person wants you to use your good working reputation to benefit them, all while knowing that if this leave is granted the person carrying the extra workload will be you? This person is a user OP, just reply back that you cannot request leave on behalf of anyone, the employee must request their own annual leave directly.

The employee has already been told "no", they are just lining you up to indirectly volunteer to do their work and this will set a precedent. Every time they want a day off, to finish early, or just not bother meeting their own deadlines they will force that onto you for being so "reliable and helpful", nip it in the bud now.

@freakinthespreadsheets since you know colleague's partner, I would message back saying "I can't make this request on someone else's behalf - but in any event, it wouldn't be granted because it is our busiest time of year and it was already an exception because of her birthday to be given the time that she was given."

Thank you, I absolutely love Ask a Manager! Alison has pretty much single handedly helped me climb the corporate ladder to get where I am. I seem to do well in workplace situations now, but it's social ones that freak me out!

Thank you. I helped this colleague get the job as we had worked together previously and she was fab. We became fairly close friends after she started working here and I am also now friends with her partner. Since then she has shown herself up quite a few times, kicking off in meetings and taking time off sick whenever she is pulled up for things. She wasn't like this before and I'm a bit embarassed really. But I do find boundaries hard. So thank you for your responses all!

Also, I dont know how your work works but with mine we have a shared calendar that has to have everyone's annual leave in and we have a different system we put our annual request through that we can view and see the remaining hours. Surely it's really difficult to secretly book extra annual leave for someone without them being made aware.

Email your manager with the request and the details of the partner, let them deal with it between each other

There is no way that your employer should allow annual leave to be organised by anyone other than the person taking the leave - not you, not their partner, not anyone.
What if they don’t want their leave changed? What if they’re splitting up and this is attempted harassment by the ex? Doesn’t matter if it’s not the case for this couple, but for employment policy generally this has to be a clear no.