What do your 18, 19, 20 yr old kids do if they're not at uni or college?

[User57713]

I've got one ds19 who has left school and is working in a clothes shop. He didn't know what he wanted to do at college, didn't get grades for uni, so took this job. He works hard but he's been there almost a year now and he's getting restless.

But still doesn't know what he wants to do.

What are your kids of a similar age and situation doing? Travelling, working in shops, Burger King, staying in bed all day? 3 hours a day in the gym or lying in bed? Volunteering?

We're looking for some inspiration really in the hope that something sparks his imagination, or if anyone has any ideas we haven't thought of.

He's a hard worker, I know he'll figure it out and be successful in time, but he's feeling a bit lost right now

Does he have a passion?

No, unless you count going to nightclubs

It has honestly been so good to hear of other young people who are 'just' working in shops or fast food places or whatever. All ds's pals seem to be on a career path of some kind or another already. His seems to have been a particularly academic and driven bunch of people, apart from him.

And good to hear that they've tried a few different things. Ds also seems to have the idea in his head that if he changes jobs too often he'll look flaky and then no-one will empoy him. But maybe he would really like a bar or restaurant job instead of a clothes shop. Different things suit different people and he won't know until he tries I guess.

I think parenting was easier when he was a toddler and just did what he was told. It's hard now getting the balance between listening, suggesting, advising, supporting.....

If he is interested in an apprenticeship don't worry about whether it is local to you. I work in apprenticeships. Big companies send them to us for training and usually pay the accommodation while their with us. After that they are on reasonable salary so pay their own. They take people on from all over the country.
It varies across sectors/companies but don't assume it's a non-starter.

Yes, trades are definitely the way to go these days.

My 18 year old is doing his apprenticeship that he went into straight after GCSEs unfortunately despite being with a major regional employer that used to pretty much mean you were set for life it looks like massive job losses are imminent. I worry that he will be back to square one soon.

Try searching the Apprenticeship scheme by interest and nationwide, there are lots that aren't 'specific' to a local area.

DD is in basic training for Royal Navy. She never had any aspirations to go to uni or even college.
She applied to be an aircraft handler in Fleet Air Arm in the Royal Navy.

She knows she has made a great career choice and loves it so far. In between A levels and joining she worked in a bar and joined a gym to get her fitness ready.
We’re proud of her choice of career

Really great thread. Thanks OP!

My friend's DD is autistic, but at the lower end of the spectrum. She left school with very few qualifications and decided she wanted to be cabin crew. She got her first set of wings (which had to be paid for) with a very low budget airline, but they treat their employees appallingly, so she left. Got her wings for the second time with another airline, and then got her wings for the third time with a great airline and is thoroughly enjoying her job.

Our DS is on what we are calling a Nap Year. He is doing bits and pieces. He took his grade 8 piano, passed his driving test, and is finishing DofE gold. He has been jet washing drives and learning how to trade on the stock market! He still doesn't know what to do, we will support him however he has a " grown up" job in September which he was going to try! we were happy to give him space this year. I didn't go to Uni until I was 21 so I can't complain! best of luck to your son.

I have 2 sons my eldest now 21 was going to go in RAF met a girl and decided on doing a marketing apprenticeship instead. He really didn't like it and left to work in a pub for 12 months. He now works in a hospital as a Pharmacy Technician. He's a lot happier and theres opportunity for progression.

My 18 year old is not interested in going to uni, he has got through several interview stages for an apprenticeship in the police waiting for his final interview. If he doesnt get that i really dont know what he will do.

It's hard for young people to make decisions on their future but they have time to work it out.

My son left school at 16, joined the army foundation college. He’s now 19 in the army doing apprenticeship for mechanical engineering. It was hard at first but he loves it now. Making lots of friends. Done a parade today at Windsor in front of the king.

Mine is working at a local tourist 'outdoor adventure' type place as an instructor in various activities plus also some site maintenance. This very much suits him rather than a retail or cafe job. They trained him up, it has been amazing for building his confidence as he's quite shy. Downside was short hours available in winter, but all hours God sends in summer.

This is his second season, he's decided to go to uni this coming year but work are v happy to keep him on for holidays (and that will mean he doesn't need a term time job).

It's definitely worth him looking on the government Apprenticeship website, even if it's just to get an idea of what's available as there are so many different ones you can go for.
At my work alone we have ones for HR, Recruitment, Payroll, Business Administration, Vehicle Parts, Vehicle Mechanics, Customer Service, and Accounts.

One of mine was like this, not helped by having siblings with very clear plans. She ended up applying for a modern apprenticeship, got it and is really enjoying it. It's a fixed term contract but looks like she'll be kept on and given further opportunity to progress. It's office based, which I knew would suit her. Sometimes you just have to give things a go. There's only so much you can plan anyway.

Cabin crew is terrible wages.

I think it was this thread where someone said their child had accepted a job with the Met after A Levels. I can't seem to find it but would be interested as to whether they are on the "beat" or are eligible to train for CID.

Mine too but he’s in his first year. He did 6th form first and started at 18. He loves it.
Mumsnet likes to suggest “just get an apprenticeship” as if it’s easy but it’s really competitive and he also needed grade 6 in maths.

Volunteers one day a week, meets up with their mentor one day a week (set up via a local charity), 2 x driving lessons a week and works at the weekend.

Both mine doing apprentices, one went to uni for a year but decided not for him
apprentices def worth a look at
one doing engineering and other carpentry, neither had any idea what they wanted to do when left school or college and both worked a year when left college befoee doing apprenticeships currently on

In his second year of an engineering apprenticeship at 19.

The National Trust do apprenticeships in a number of fields, if he wants to do something completely different

I've got a 19 year old about to be exactly the same, except her job has just ended amd her college course is ending. Officially that will makes her a NEET. 🥺

I asked her to see the college careers counsellor and instead of being helpful, he told her there's no rush and to take her time deciding what to do 🤣

Yes, there is some truth in the fact that she needs to be sure before going to uni, but I'm not sure it's that, I think she's in an endless loop of indecision.

Anyway, she's just done a foundation 'access' course to uni. She didn't do the right A levels for her uni course, amd so needed this to get in. She likely will apply to uni next year.

In the meantime, my husband said jokingly "What does he suggest you do for the intervening years - get a PlayStation 3?"

I think on the broght side there are apprenticeships now that offer routes into employment, so I'm going to support her to find one of them!!

As others have mentioned, there are apprenticeships available in all sorts of things, from marketing to construction to (much needed) healthcare roles.
There is also a brilliant agricultural college near us, where young people can learn everything from dog grooming to hedgerow management to garden landscaping. If your son is more given to physical/hands-on activities, maybe something like that could be of interest?

Have a look at jobs in your local authority. They offer all sorts of different roles and not all are office based, some are outdoors based or roles working with people. If he got into a junior role there is good career progression opportunities, pay isn’t bad and there is job security.

If he's at all interested in airports he could look at the Heathrow Employment and Skills Academy. There is a huge range of job types at airports and 70,000 people work at Heathrow! The Academy will help him learn about the range of opportunities, including apprenticeships, and they have open days etc