What do your 18, 19, 20 yr old kids do if they're not at uni or college?

[User57713]

I've got one ds19 who has left school and is working in a clothes shop. He didn't know what he wanted to do at college, didn't get grades for uni, so took this job. He works hard but he's been there almost a year now and he's getting restless.

But still doesn't know what he wants to do.

What are your kids of a similar age and situation doing? Travelling, working in shops, Burger King, staying in bed all day? 3 hours a day in the gym or lying in bed? Volunteering?

We're looking for some inspiration really in the hope that something sparks his imagination, or if anyone has any ideas we haven't thought of.

He's a hard worker, I know he'll figure it out and be successful in time, but he's feeling a bit lost right now

My eldest daughter dropped out of A levels early on, realising that A levels and uni weren't for her. She worked in a supermarket for a few months, saved quite a bit of money, then did a year long residential outdoor instructor apprenticeship course. She's 21 now and is happy in her career. She's outdoors all the time, has made really good friends, and travelled alot. The only annoying thing is Brexit and not being able to work easily in Europe.

My daughter does attend college but only part time due to disability

Days she's not at college I take her to the gym for a few hours, out for walks or she reads

We didnlook into supported internship for her including one at a theme park which she would have enjoyed

My nephew was on an apprenticeship with a plasterer that would have been great for him but partying with "mates" took over 🙄

I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up and I am 58 next month 🤣

My sons partner who is 26 was similar although he did do uni
he worked for Jet 2 as cabin crew for 3 years after leaving uni
really enjoyed it but struggled with the long hours and 2 am starts

now working for NHS in admin and prefers it as he can work 2-3 days a week from home

Apprenticeship
now works full time

Food has always been DD1s passion and so she started in a chain restaurant part time while still at school and is now in a full time supervisor role. I think she does see the restaurant sector as her career going forward now - either back or front of house.

DS1 - Degree apprenticeship with a bank. Working and getting paid a salary instead of incurring student debts to gain a degree.

DS2 - Just about to take A levels. Hasn’t applied to uni and wants to take a gap year working abroad next year. In the meantime will be working over summer at a local tourist attraction and then potentially bar work/seasonal work over winter for some extra experience dealing with difficult customers before venturing further afield.

I love this thread! I have a young teen who insists that he will never want to go to University, we’re a way off those decisions yet and we would support him in his choices but great to know there are different ways for young people to thrive. We both went to uni so anything else feels a bit of the unknown to us.

My boys are younger (13 & 11) but at 19 I was at university but just doing a degree because I don’t think I even realised that not going to university was an option (I come from a very academic family, and my parents, all my grandparents and some great-grandparents went to university). So I did my degree and was none the wiser as to what I wanted to do. I applied for some graduate jobs like the civil service fast track etc and even got offered some but none of them seemed like a good fit for me. So I temped, in an office for a year and saved like mad to go off and travel. That led into doing some voluntary work overseas, which in turn led to some jobs in the same scientific research overseas. At one of those jobs I realised I needed a postgrad in a specialism to pursue that career, so I got a fully funded place on an MSc course and went from there - I worked overseas again for several years post graduation and then came back to the uk when we had our family. So I’ve had a really good career but it didn’t come to me straight away, so there’s plenty of time for your lad to discover what his career will be.

While I was temping, I also volunteered on a Saturday morning, played a lot of tennis and golf with my brother and trained for a marathon. I think if your job is unfulfilling you have to make extra sure that you are making the most of your out of work time and really enjoying that.

DD worked after leaving/dropping out of 6th form. Has never known what she wants to do, currently working in retail.
DS got an apprenticeship after GCSEs, still works there 7 years on.

This is very true. Apprenticeship opportunities at Network Rail are where it's at. Often they are given over time opportunities too. There's a massive leap from being an apprentice wage to a fully qualified wage too.

My 18 yo on a gap year is working as a commis chef in a gastropub and learning a lot. Working 14 hr days. Loves it and making a lot of money as well as getting excellent professional training. She has already done 6 months of travel.

Because of the Apprenticeship Levy, all big companies do Apprenticeships now.

So if there’s a place he fancies working, tell him to Google it with the word Apprenticeship after and see what comes up.

Also the Govt Find An Apprenticeship site will give him some ideas.

Many Apprenticeships are paid well above NMW too.

He could contact the national careers service ( free) for some advice- or try some in line psychometric tests ( free) on line which might give him some ideas. Not going to uni website might be worth a look.

Mine is a swimmer and so that takes up a lot of time!

He stayed at college an extra year and did a HNC and now works for the place he did work experience at (software development).

He works 3 days a week around his swimming and I’ve said to him he’s plenty of time to get into the rat race or working.

I did summer and ski seasons at that age as a children’s rep. I did childcare at college.

Personally I think it’s fine to not know what you want to do whilst still in your teen years. But if he’s getting restless I’d look at adding a sport, maybe learning a language, camp america even.

Or look for promotion within the retail sector. Perhaps a shift to a supermarket where the promotion opportunity are greater and the prospects of increasing his income exist.

There’s Jo right or wrong answer but he still has 47 years before he can retire so I don’t think right now he needs to worry if he can’t decide what he wants to do with them!!!

DS did a year at university, hated it and dropped out. He got a job at McDonalds and progressed quickly through the ranks ending up as shift manager. He now runs a small supermarket.

DD dropped out after the first year of A levels and has mostly worked retail ever since. She did a diploma with the OU but hasn’t managed to find a single job related to it. She hates retail but where we live there’s not much else.

In our house - 6 children- 4 boys 19, 20, 20, and 23

19 year old finished school after GCSE’ and did two years mechanics at the local
college - now has an apprenticeship in farm machinery mechanics.

20 year - left school after GCSE’s- he dicked about and buggered himself in school ended up in alternative provision and no GCSE’s
went to college to do construction for a year.
Then picked up a traineeship for flooring and carpet fitting works for a local family firm, and now earns more than I do.

20 year old- left after GCSE’s and did 2 year properly maintenance course. Then messed about job hopping, and turning up late, hungover etc and blew a couple good opportunities. Soon stopped that when realised not working= not running a car.
He then bucked his ideas up ( non negotiable in this house - it’s school or work and paying your way) had several different agency jobs before settling into current role for a property maintenance firm.

23 year old - left school just 16 after GCSE’s ( not academic didn’t get any ) works at the car body shop where he was a Saturday boy (all mine had part time jobs - another non negotiable in our family ) Out earns me now and has done since he was 21. (I’m a Social worker )

So all trades with a lot more earning capacity ahead.
All tradesmen/ grafters like their dad.
They like their cars, and hols and pretty girls and going out with their many friends so all in all I think they’ve done champion .

Both the girls went to uni
X

My daughter joined the Met Police at 19.

DD, age 19 has done 2 years supporting adults with learning difficulties and enjoyed it but a recent change to a higher support needs place didn't work out too well for her. She wasn't given adequate support to support the residents, so she has changed it up to go work front of house in a hotel.

DS is 18 and working at Butlins. He's doing what they call "team member plus" which means he has his main job and does 2 others besides! He is on a ridiculously high wage for a lad his age and loving life!!

We had the navy in at my present school. They did some talks and then worked with the kids on mad building and running around activities.
The kids loved the activities and I personally wanted to join up as it looked like a cross between a theme park and a James Bond movie.
They also train you in all sorts of things you can then do as a civilian. And you can get amazon deliveries. So they said. You do have to be super fit, but the kids seemed to like that idea and the sailors of both sexes looked very fit and healthy.

My son left school with not much and went straight into an electrical - security apprenticeship- he’s 19 now and loves it - he got this through family - sometimes not what you know but who you know - hope something comes up for him soon 🤞

Mine dropped out of A levels twice had a bit of a breakdown… but then went back to college to do an access course. Thriving now. If you think he’s bright, but not exam orientated, then an access to HR diploma (no exams, totally free as govt funded) will get him what he needs to ho on to HE. Doesn’t need to be an academic degree, it could be a degree apprenticeship or a professional diploma course in Film, writing games,engineering etc.

The trick is to reassure him he hasn’t failed. He just wasn’t/isn’t ready and that there are loads of options there when he is.

Eldest DD did A levels in covid, got 3 good grades and was all set to go to uni to be a vet. Then decided she wanted to become rich through investing in foreign exchange markets (didn't), started hanging out with artists and toyed with events promotion. Ended up working nights in Asda but not sleeping in the day cos 'too much going on'. She's flipped and flopped between jobs for the last 4 years, has tried a childcare apprenticeship and delivering fast food. Now she's found a job on an assembly line and she's never been happier. Finally she has friends at work and a good social life.
DS1 is just finishing his 2nd year at uni and loves it.
DS2 has gone down the T level route and just got a work experience placement which will possibly employ him at the end of it.
DD2 might go to college next year to get her maths & English GCSEs... 🤯 she's been effectively home- schooled for the past year, has learnt 4 languages but without maths & English she's not going to get any further.

Sorry that wasn't meant to be so long!

Access to HE diploma… not HR. Would not inflict a career in HR on anyone! [Says she with a sister and SIL who do it 🤣]

Get your child on an apprenticeship it’s the best thing my son ever did.
My son was fine at school and was doing well and then covid hit and it all went to pot. He was off school on and off in year 10 and 11 because of it and that is the most important time in school. His grades dropped and so did his mental health. His original plans were 6th form and then Uni and neither happened so we looked in to apprenticeships and he never looked back. He’s now 3 months till the end of it, he moves in to his own apartment at the end of May and makes parts for F1 cars and loves it.
Although the beginning was a little hard because of his mental health but it was well worth all the tears. Good luck x