Oh my god. Please tell me your stories where it worked out ok

[DeborahVancesBeehive]

.....I'm not perimenopausal, I'm pregnant. About 6 weeks. Two strong lines. I am stunned. I'm almost 44. I've been drinking and coloring my hair and not taking folic acid. I'd so hoped to give my dc a sibling and it didn't happen so I closed the door on it. I know there's a strong possibility I'll miscarry but it doesn't feel like it, somehow. DC is 3 and I was starting to look forward to life evening out a bit and getting a bit of time back for me.

Please tell me if this happened to you and it worked out ok?

I had a baby at 40 and already had a child who was 11. Thought that was it then found out at 45 that I was pregnant again. Another easy pregnancy and delivery. The last child was a handful (still is 😝) but I wouldn’t change a thing. Our hands are full but the joy is off the scale. If it’s what you want then good luck 🤞🏻 x

I wish you all the best op im sure it will all work out.
Personally myself i couldn't do it at 44.
Id be thinking about the long term on everything.
Peri Menopause cost schooling child care.
Teens in my 50s parenting till maybe 60s.
My list is long.
But im not saying you cant i think you will be a wonderful mum.
Im sure i will be quoted soon with the words they keep me young but i never did believe that sentence.
All the best op.

It sounds from your post that you’re at least a little bit excited.
I’d go with that.

your LO is only three so not an insurmountable age difference.

what does your DP feel?

I literally can't get my head round it, it all seems a million years ago. DP is thrilled but trying to hide it. I keep thinking of all the things I've done that you aren't supposed to, like blue cheese. I suppose I need to get a scan to see what's what before I make any decisions.

I coloured my hair throughout both of my pregnancies, drank alcohol and wasn’t taking folic acid before I’d realised I was pregnant, both are healthy. It’ll be fine.

Not me, but my mum had a 16 and 18 year old, thought the menopause had started and found she was pregnant with me at 42. It was much more unusual in the 70s and I always felt a bit out of place at school etc., but it's so much more common now to have dc in your 40s.
Good luck! At least you are still in the thick of it with a young child already so you won't be starting again.

This early on anything you’ve done doesn’t really impact unless it’s hard drugs or major radiation and I think we can assume you’ve not been holidaying in Chernobyl. I knew a woman who had a surprise at 46. Beautiful little girl and a real treat for the family, her older sons were teenagers!
You are in a relationship. Your older child is a perfect age to get a sibling. Your partner is pleased. And tbh you are not that old to be having a second or subsequent child. No reason at all this won’t work out beautifully.

This is wonderful! All the best OP!

I didn't even know the hair colouring was a thing?

I dyed mine throughout all 3 pregnancies.

Congratulations OP

OP already has a 3 year old so it's not much difference though. Would be different if she'd had children at 25 then another at 45, but she's already got a young child at that stage of life.

It's only 3 years, not three decades.

I'm more concerned about the health of the baby in terms of disability because I'll be 44 at delivery, not the age gap.

Ages for last children-Mum 41, Nan 43, Gt Gran 52. All fine. All were "surprises" and obviously testing was nowhere near as early or reliable as it is now so pretty certain they did things that wouldn't be advised today before they found out, especially as every one of them put it down to menopause!

Congratulations and sending good wishes

I got pg at 41 and had an NIPT test - foetus had genetic abnormalities incompatible with life and I terminated at 14 weeks. Got pg again aged 42 and had dc3 aged 43. Had GD with her but no other issues, I had another NIPT and all was clear, she is healthy and developing normally, now aged 3. Statistically you have a higher chance of abnormalities now but the most common 3 can be tested for (and others will be clear from scans later on).

Definitely get a private NIPT as early as you can (about 10 weeks) because if you need to get extra tests to confirm, it takes a while to do them and then arrange a termination if necessary. NHS offers them but much later. I got mine done early enough that I could have a surgical which was very straightforward, whereas other people I know ended up having to effectively deliver at a later stage which is very traumatic.

The risk isn't that much increased. You've already had one at 40/41.

52?! Omg.

Congratulations! My DD’s best friend’s mum had her as their 4th child at age 45. All good! They are both 13 now.

Gt Uncle Harry (the last baby) was apparently her easiest labour, born at home of course.

That’s incredible!

Hair colouring in pregnancy isn’t recommended because the dye can react differently to your hair compared to when you’re not pregnant.

There’s no risk to the baby from dying your hair. So don’t worry about that.

Congratulations OP!

FIFTY TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <<faints>>

Good luck, OP. It'll be fine!

My mum found out she was pregnant at the same time as me!

I then lost my baby, whilst hers continued. Got pregnant again and then had my baby exactly 6 months after my brother was born

So there is a 6 month gap between my mothers youngest and my oldest.

🤯
Wow, that must have made for some some interesting conversations at mother and baby groups!!

A friend of mine had a cryptic pregnancy. She was young and was out drinking and partying (not in an alcohol dependant way, just a young person enjoying life way) as she had no idea she was pregnant until she went into labour. Her dd is 15 and totally fine. I very much doubt that anything you’ve done will have caused harm at the stage.

I sometimes have nightmares about being pregnant in my 40s. It would not be something I would be happy about at all. That said. I had my kids young and now they are grown I love their company and really don’t want to start all over again. Your dc is only 3, so you’re still in the throws of little kid life so you’re in a different place. My SIL had my nephew at 45. She was tired but fine. I’m sure it’ll all work out as it’s meant to.

I was 46 ( had my first baby at 37, no problems fit and healthy baby. ). I felt really ill , kept throwing up, made a Dr's appointment but did a pregnancy test so I could say, well obviously I'm not pregnant, but I was. I did have CVS and took part in NHS evaluation of NIPT. Apart from morning, noon and night sickness for 24 weeks, with both, it was an easy pregnancy. They did scare me into being induced on my due date ( never again, and with hindsight, not then either). Fit, healthy baby born when I was 47. I breast fed for nearly 18 months. DS 2 is now 13, and has entered stroppy teenage years. Oh well.