Any Indian people who can help me?

[indianques]

Hello!

My son is in a relationship with a lovely girl from India. She lives here (UK) as she came for Uni and never went back. Her parents are coming over to the UK soon to meet my son and his parents (us!) to assess suitability for marriage. I have no idea about their customs! So I have a few questions.

They will be staying in a hotel, as my son is in a flat share and his girlfriend no longer lives here (long distance relationship for the past year). We live in a different town about 30 mins away. Would it be better to go for a meal near where they are staying or would it be more customary to invite them to our home for a meal?

if we meet in a restaurant for a meal, is it okay if me and my husband pay the bill, or would that be seen as an insult?

When we greet them, do we do so with a handshake or a hug?

Are there any tips Indian people could give us to make the right impression?

Thank you!

WTF?

So your son and his GF don't even live in the same town anymore and you're planning a marriage negotiations meal? 😅

And the OPs concern is what the family would like to eat! 🤣🤣🫣

The Sikh I house shared with ate pork. We also did a lot of drinking together.

OP As others have said ask your son and his girlfriend for tips.

if the visit is successful and they approve the marriage, how quickly do things start moving? What happens next?

Someone I worked with who was Hindu and her family originated in Gujerat went to a sort of family conference when her brother got engaged to explain to her parents that it was fine for them to have a long engagement, the norm is that things move quickly but I think things are changing both amongst British Asians and in India.

I saw wedding photos, a couple of years ago, with the bride in a traditional (for Britain) white wedding dress, the wedding was in a Mosque.

No, they are both almost 30. Both very keen to marry and have been together for about 4 years.

The Sikh I house shared with ate pork. We also did a lot of drinking together.
Yes, but that's an informal setting and once you know they eat /drink whatever.

The girl may eat everything but her parents may not. They may not know she eats stuff she's not supposed to either.

But we can only guess- OP needs to go to her son and his gf.

Does she have a visa if she came as a student and never went back?

I am British but married to someone from South India.
As other posters have said, India is so varied in culture, religion etc, that the best advice is to be warm, polite and, most importantly, authentic.
When I met my in-laws I was so awkward and tried to act in a way I thought would impress them - after a while I’ve relaxed and act like myself, and things are much more natural and comfortable!
With that said, I would be guided by your son and his partner in terms of what might be suitable to serve. My in-laws only like Indian food so it would have been a waste of time (and quite awkward) if I had served them British classics. My husbands aunt on the other hand loves trying new things - so very much down to personal tastes and preferences, like anyone else.
I would definitely invite them into your home instead of meeting at a restaurant. One thing I’ve noticed which is common across all of my Indian friends and family, regardless of their backgrounds is that the food offered is plentiful (loads compared to typical British hosting), and that it’s very polite to bring out some snacks and soft drinks pretty much as soon as people arrive - so this would be a good way to start things off on the right foot.

Also, it’s lovely that you want to make a good impression for your son and his partner.