Have you ever had a crush on someone you knew would never happen?

[SaveTheDates]

One in real life, not a crush on a celebrity. I’m currently experiencing this and it’s painful. I will get over this won’t I ?

Why won’t it happen? And yes you will if you allow yourself to

Read up on limerence and see if it fits.

It won’t happen because we are both in relationships and they will never know how I feel.

@SaveTheDates how is it so painful if you’re already in a relationship?! Do you not love your OH then?

I think that’s the most common type of crush, isn’t it? If you had any realistic prospect of a relationship with the person, it would just be fancying someone.

Honestly, OP, don’t sweat it. It happens to everyone from time to time, and goes away by itself.

I do love my dp, but I think it is possible to love more than one person at a time. I will not share this with anyone in real life as I’m sure it will be frowned upon. Dp is amazing but this other person has brought a lot of joy into my life.

Crushes are harmless as long as you don’t act on them if you’re in a relationship

There seems to be a thread like this at least once a week now.

Of course you'll get over it.

Otherwise you'd still be constantly pining over the very first crush you ever had.

I think I was 12 when I first had one.

Yes, it does fade. What's wrong with your relationship @SaveTheDates?

Nothing really wrong with it. This other person I just find very attractive and enjoy being around them.

Current crush is my evri delivery man .. not going to happen

Not sure if it’s quite this. I do spend a lot of time thinking of them, but it would never go as far as stalking.

Yes I have one now - was painful for me too and one-sided - seems to have died down a bit, helps when I don’t see them (it’s a work one). Was tied into my OH and my relationship not being the best but we’re working on that which is massively helping my crush situation (although I don’t fully trust myself at work socials where alcohol is involved - I could really embarrass myself!)

I don’t think that developing any kind of feelings for someone else necessarily indicates problems in an existing relationship. As long as you don’t act on them.

We’re all humans, and developing feelings for other people is entirely normal. Doesn’t mean that it has to go anywhere.

My relationship was in real trouble when I developed feelings for a friend, but tbh I think I would have even if it hadn’t been.

It was never able to go anywhere because we were friends and I never wanted to put that at risk, but years on I think I still would have those feelings if we met up again.

No, I actually don't think so. I've not had a proper crush on anyone since I've been with my husband ( apart from my celeb crush but they don't count) and before that, any crush I've had on someone has been attainable or had died before anything happened.

Many years ago while in sixth form, had a massive crush on a girl in the year above, painful

Virtually all of my crushes have been a situation where the chances of anything happening were absolutely minimal.

I think that’s the point, isn’t it? At some level they’re ‘safe’ as a focus for fantasies. The only time a crush of mine exhibited any interest in me, I was horrified and made myself scarce.

I know In my mind I’m thinking everything is perfect about him. He’s gorgeous, funny, kind, caring and successful. I’d like to keep it that way. I know sometimes once you get to really know someone, cracks start to appear. Seeing as there’s no chance we would ever be together I will just keep imagining him this way. Which I know will make it even more difficult.

I think crushes are normal. Sometimes you can't deny a spark you have with someone. Sometimes you are just drawn to people. It is painful, I've had a similar situation before. Turned out he liked me back with made this even more difficult.

@WakeupthedawnandaskherwhyI had a crush on a boy when I was at secondary school. I always thought he was too cool to like me. A few years later I heard from a mutual friend he really liked me too but thought I hated him. I was never mean to him but would get all flustered when I was around him and would (literally) run away. I often thought about what could have been if we both were honest.

The situation I’m in now I’m 99% sure is one sided though.

why not?

Just imagine arguing over the ironing, who will peg the washing out, having to sort out bills, still going to work on a morning and no one has tidied up... you know, the reality of daily humdrum that can sap the joy out of anything😂

I had a crush on my boss once. Similar age. Nothing would have happened and I wouldn’t have wanted it to as happily married but I found him VERY attractive.

Are you friends with this crush or from afar?