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Original poster

DS strangled at school - would you follow up?

65 replies

Esgaroth · 07/05/2025 21:04

DS is 7 years old. I received a phone call from his class teacher today to inform me that he had been attacked in the classroom by another boy, who I will call Jack but obviously that is not his real name.

Jack and DS were having a verbal argument about cheating in a game they had been playing and Jack then slapped DS, bit his face and then placed his hands round my DS' throat and strangled him. DS did not retaliate, he was just trying to get away.

The teacher was able to separate them soon after Jack grabbed my DS' throat so he was only very briefly strangled and there are no marks on his neck, thank goodness. He does have a bite mark on his face. He was very frightened.

The teacher said that he had comforted DS and spoken to Jack and that Jack had then apologised to DS. The teacher said that DS wasn't upset for long and went off to after school club happily.

I went to pick him up right after the phone call as I was worried about him. He told me in his own words what happened and it tallied with what the teacher had told me. He did say that Jack had 'raged' at him (by which I think he means that Jack lost control) and he was really scared, but that he was feeling OK now.

I'm happy with how it was dealt with as a one off incident but should I follow up with this due to the severity of the violence? I consider strangling to be quite a way beyond slapping and pushing or even biting and I hate to think what would have happened if the teacher had been just a bit later in separating them.

It's not bullying and I don't want to overreact but at the same time I don't want to let DS down. Would you leave it there or is there something else we should be asking about?

OP posts:
Teaacup · 08/05/2025 06:00

Was Jack punished? I would let things go if it was just a slap and Jack was punished. The biting and strangling are serious. I would report it to someone beyond the school.

MoreChocPls · 08/05/2025 06:06

I’d make sure this was reported to have it formally on record in case it becomes a problem again. Let your son know he can fight back to defend himself.

Comewhatmay25 · 08/05/2025 06:15

Are you unhappy with how the school handled it? Do you think they should do more? Reality is, promises it will never happen again are just hopeful wishes. It was a one off incident that was dealt with appropriately, not sure what is to gain from taking it further.

sugarspiceandeverythingnice12 · 08/05/2025 06:18

Esgaroth · 07/05/2025 22:23

I do think the class teacher handled it as best he could. He stopped it, he looked after my son and he spoke to Jack and Jack apologised. He made sure DS was feeling better before he went off to after school club and he immediately informed me.

Show quote history

I think you're right. I think the school handled it well.

However such aggression and violence needs more, imo

I'd want the police (a single police person) to come into school, in uniform, and speak with Jack and then the whole class about violence and aggression, explaining etc etc

They are 7 and plenty old enough to know what happens in the real world when violence happens

CharSiu · 08/05/2025 06:35

That is way beyond a normal scrap between kids. I would ring someone like the NSPCC for advice. I’m thinking it’s a social services issue. That level of violence means that child is disturbed as well as saving your DS you could be saving Jack.

BlondiePortz · 08/05/2025 06:41

CharSiu · 08/05/2025 06:35

That is way beyond a normal scrap between kids. I would ring someone like the NSPCC for advice. I’m thinking it’s a social services issue. That level of violence means that child is disturbed as well as saving your DS you could be saving Jack.

But there is nothing the OP can do about the other child, the OP only has the power to ask the school to keep them apart

sure the OP could ring but then what?

Empress13 · 08/05/2025 07:02

Good lord just imagine him doing this at 15 etc! I would definitely ensure that the school have safeguarding in place and that his parents were informed of this

Original poster
Esgaroth · 08/05/2025 11:41

Teaacup · 08/05/2025 06:00

Was Jack punished? I would let things go if it was just a slap and Jack was punished. The biting and strangling are serious. I would report it to someone beyond the school.

I don't know what measures the school took with Jack specifically, other than that he was told off by the teacher immediately afterwards (because DS saw this). The teacher actually didn't even tell me which child he was talking about, but obviously DS did.

I don't think the school would/should tell me about how they are disciplining Jack, but I think it likely that he was sent to the headteacher for a further talking to and that his parents were told. Because that's what happened when my child once misbehaved more seriously - though mine have never been violent so I don't have experience of being the parent in that situation.

OP posts:
wafflesmgee · 08/05/2025 15:10

BellesAndGraces · 07/05/2025 22:19

Not the OP’s or OP’s son’s problem.

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Well it is, given that they have to exist together in a class for years to come, and given that school have a duty of care to BOTH children. I think ensuring that possible reasons for the other child’s behaviour are explored is extremely valid and relevant here, the school will not be able to share them due to confidentiality.

wafflesmgee · 08/05/2025 15:11

Esgaroth · 08/05/2025 11:41

I don't know what measures the school took with Jack specifically, other than that he was told off by the teacher immediately afterwards (because DS saw this). The teacher actually didn't even tell me which child he was talking about, but obviously DS did.

I don't think the school would/should tell me about how they are disciplining Jack, but I think it likely that he was sent to the headteacher for a further talking to and that his parents were told. Because that's what happened when my child once misbehaved more seriously - though mine have never been violent so I don't have experience of being the parent in that situation.

Show quote history

Read the behaviour policy, this is what they will have followed. Eg internal suspension for rest of day or sent home for 24 hour suspension

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 08/05/2025 15:26

A very similar thing happened to my son when he was about 7. My sone has a scar on his face from it.
Other child had sen needs, it wasn’t a one off incident unfortunately (although the first time he had done anything to my son)
other child left the school that day and never returned. I don’t thing he was expelled but I think the incident with my child was the last straw in the school deciding the could no longer need his needs.
Hope your son is ok op.

User79853257976 · 09/07/2025 20:24

Definitely follow up. Jack should have a fixed term exclusion at the very least, or be permanently excluded.

madaboutpurple · 09/07/2025 20:43

It sounds quite serious OP.I would be asking the school how they intend to make sure your son and others in fact are going to be kept safe. Really the school should be excluding the boy.It sounds like they are trying to play it down.

Brightasarainbow · 09/07/2025 20:50

Your school will have a designated safeguarding lead, you should be speaking to them about risk assessments and how they can make sure your son is safe in school. Their details should be easily available from school website or Receptionist.

x2boys · 09/07/2025 21:01

This thread is from May so.hopefully the issue is resolved now.

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