OMG the snoring... the heat...

[IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads]

So, I've been with DH for the thick end of 30 years and I just can not sleep in the same room as him anymore. I've spent the last 3 nights on cushions on the living room floor and I am exhausted. Last night I didn't even try to go to sleep in our bed.

We don't have a spare room.

He's always snored a bit, but it's got worse with increasing age. He's not overweight, but he has reflux problems, and has taken a few cricket balls in the face over time and he night he sounds like a warthog. All night. He used to respond to a nudge, but no longer.

I've tried so many earplugs it's untrue. Cork, wax, sponge, foam, plastic, headband, with and without music, Loop .... nothing helps. They're either too uncomfortable to sleep in (most of them, the Loops made me feel sick) , fall out, ineffective or I can't hear my alarm (I need to get up at 5.30 am).

This time of year is particularly bad as DH suffers badly from hay fever and keeps the windows closed all night and has 2 air purifiers running. This makes our room really hot - I'm the type of person who'd sleep with the windows open in winter if I could. As a 50 something women I'll admit to maybe being less tolerant to sleeping in warm rooms than i have been in the past.

What can I do? Is there anything i can do for either of us that will help me get some sleep? I litteralky last had an unbroken nights sleep 6 weeks ago when he was away for work.... and before that i don't know.

His dad's got a CPAP machine to sleep, but DH's GO says he dies t need one.

DH does take his turn on the living room floor from time to time, but this isn't really a great solution.

We worked out that my dh's snoring gets worse due to hay-fever. Nasal spray antihistamines really help right before bed.

Has he been to a different GP for a second opinion?
My DH has asthma and if he hasn't been using his inhaler he snores until I wake him up to tell him he needs to use his inhaler!

He needs to go back to his GP, but in the meantime he needs to take more than a “from time to time” turn on the living room floor, starting tonight.

Maybe sleeping on the living room floor 4 nights a week might motivate him to get this sorted.

Replace the living room sofa with a day bed.

Could he try sleeping more propped up? My dad snores like a walrus when he lies flatter in the bed. Have you tried loud white noise in the room you’re in? Sounds like you will need to sleep separately every night and maybe set up a comfy fold out single bed or a sofa bed in the living room so you aren’t having to sleep on cushions.
might help if you could try going to sleep half an hour before him so hopefully when he starts snoring you’re already asleep and it won’t be quite as bad.
you have my full sympathy as I feel horrific if my sleep gets disturbed

Forvtye snorer, antihistamines and mouth tape
For hot sleepers I just got the oodie cooling blanket and it seems really good so far (the jammies not so much)

Why are you using cushions on the floor instead of sleeping on the sofa?
feel so sorry for you, my husband snores but I do get on ok with ear plugs.

Buy a foldaway bed for the living room and take turns on it.

I'm tall and the sofa is short!!

When we replace the sofas (we have 2 x 2 seaters) we'll get something better to sleep on - day bed, sofa bed, recliner. At the moment we have a cat who is handy with her claws, and would shred any lovely new upholstery.

Interesting, I'll look into that.

Oh poor you! Not even being able to sleep on the sofa is rubbish.

GP should refer him to the sleep clinic at the hospital. Dh waited over a year for his appt so the sooner it's in process the better.

If there are earplugs which worked for you, could you get a light up alarm? Or put your phone on vibrate and put it under your pillow.
as a temporary solution whilst your husband sorts his snoring!

This is serious. I became ill sharing a room with a snorer for 10 days on a recent holiday. I'm lucky to have a second bedroom I sleep in at home. First holiday together for 7 years (ultimatum after that one 'do something about your snoring or I'm moving out of the bedroom). On this holiday I experienced sleep walking for the first time in decades, a strange feeling of really not being sure if I was awake or dreaming. My fitness tracker couldn't log my sleep as I went through the sleep cycles (awake, light, deep and REM) so many times during the nights there wasn't room for the app to display. When I got home I slept like a log in my own room BUT I developed shingles. I wasn't stressed, I wasn't run down, I was just sleep deprived (it's a form of torture). I was ill for 4 weeks, never never again.
Get a bed in your living room, get rid of the sofa is needs be. You must be able to sleep - take action yourself!

He's seen various GPs over the years I have known him.

Get one of these and your dh can sleep on it. Very comfy and hardwearing it fits in quite a small space, made a big difference for us. lyksele

That's a great idea. He uses a nasal spray during the day, but not at night.

This annoys me so much as I know so many women who suffer as you do yet it is the men who have the problem. I don't know why it isn't taken so seriously, but can only assume because the men only seem to suffer us being annoyed at them and irritated through lack of sleep - the men don't have any physical impact so it doesn't seem to be taken seriously.

If he has a male GP I'd seriously go for the approach of 'it is affecting my daily life as my wife makes me sleep on the floor every night in the living room'. Someone on here perhaps knows the right thing to say for the NICE guidelines for referrals, but affecting the patient's daily life is different to it affecting your daily life I think. Also, if his sex life is also affected by being in a different room, it may also go over better with a male GP - I wish it didn't, but it's amazing how many GPs want to sort out women's gynae issues when it is affecting their husband's 'access' compared to when it is just affecting the woman's life is shocking.

Day bed is perfect for homes with cats. It's why I have one. It's a metal frame with a single mattress on top. I also have a long, removable cushion along the back. All great to sleep on and completely cat proof. The frame costs around £100 plus the price of a memory foam mattress and throw. Here's a photo of mine

Thank you everyone for your validation, practical advice and solidarity.

Plenty of stuff here to find a way forward.

Really feel for you. I’d push for the sleep apnea referral. My husband was diagnosed with the severe level and there was a wait for the CPAP machine.
Absolute game changer! It’s uncomfortable for him and sometimes needs adjusting but you can buy special pillows etc.
I bought a Snoozeband for me which did help me to fall asleep but I was being woken up frequently with the noise. So much better now.

I could have neatened it up a bit before I took the photo - I was just so excited to share my solution 😁

Try anti histamine tabs/spray before bed and wear a special mouthguard. Every other night your other half needs to sleep on the cushions, no need for you to do that all the time!
The best advice I've ever been given...wake the snorer up every time they wake you, that way they are aware of how bad the problem is.

This is a really odd excuse not to sort the sofa situation right away. Buy a sofa bed.

Ever since I met my boyfriend he has snored. He has tried all the usual, also visited the doctors, has nasel spray etc.
I started with the tactic of nudging him, but simply ended up on high alert when he let out the slightest snore. I have banished him to the spare room when he visits, which I am lucky to have. If we go away I also make sure we book two bedrooms. No idea how you have put up with this so long.