OMG the snoring... the heat...

[IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads]

So, I've been with DH for the thick end of 30 years and I just can not sleep in the same room as him anymore. I've spent the last 3 nights on cushions on the living room floor and I am exhausted. Last night I didn't even try to go to sleep in our bed.

We don't have a spare room.

He's always snored a bit, but it's got worse with increasing age. He's not overweight, but he has reflux problems, and has taken a few cricket balls in the face over time and he night he sounds like a warthog. All night. He used to respond to a nudge, but no longer.

I've tried so many earplugs it's untrue. Cork, wax, sponge, foam, plastic, headband, with and without music, Loop .... nothing helps. They're either too uncomfortable to sleep in (most of them, the Loops made me feel sick) , fall out, ineffective or I can't hear my alarm (I need to get up at 5.30 am).

This time of year is particularly bad as DH suffers badly from hay fever and keeps the windows closed all night and has 2 air purifiers running. This makes our room really hot - I'm the type of person who'd sleep with the windows open in winter if I could. As a 50 something women I'll admit to maybe being less tolerant to sleeping in warm rooms than i have been in the past.

What can I do? Is there anything i can do for either of us that will help me get some sleep? I litteralky last had an unbroken nights sleep 6 weeks ago when he was away for work.... and before that i don't know.

His dad's got a CPAP machine to sleep, but DH's GO says he dies t need one.

DH does take his turn on the living room floor from time to time, but this isn't really a great solution.

I too suffer from living with a snorer, so I sympathise. Cushions on the floor is ridiculous, though - I would definitely buy a sofa bed asap. You can get clear anti scratch tape which you could smother it in to avoid it being ruined by the cat, or even find some cheap stick on extra patches or something, there's plenty of options to protect it. Sleep needs prioritising.

And make sure he gets the downstairs option as much, if not more than you! Really hope it can be sorted soon.

Has he done sleep studies? A GP doesn’t usually do these but refers to the sleep clinic. You can do these privately eg

https://www.thebettersleepclinic.co.uk/store/p/homesleeptestuk?utm_medium=email&utm_source=customer_notification.

I did this and was then able to show report showing severe sleep apnea to GP who had to refer me to the NHS sleep clinic. The GP tends to do a short questionnaire and if you don’t score highly enough, they won’t refer you.

The sleep clinic used the report to provide CPAP machine. Whole thing took max 2 months!

Sleep apnea increases the risk of many conditions, including heart disease, stroke, diabetes and dementia.

Hope you can find some solutions OP. I agree he should be sleeping downstairs half the week!

Is there any possibility of moving to a home with a spare room for you to be comfortable ?

Get a top of the range sofa bed. You are literally killing yourself by not getting sleep. Sod the cost. Sod the cats clawing it. You need your sleep and fresh air!

We've slept separately for years for this reason. Got a really good sofa bed downstairs for him, he loves it and misses it when we go away. I get the bedroom to myself. We make sure to have a room each when we go on holiday too. A couple of years ago we spent 10 days staying with a relative and had to share a room and it was HELL. I barely slept a wink. Came home and no lie, I was dead to the world for 12 hours.

I absolutely love having my own room. I honestly don't think I could ever share again with anyone, even if they didn't snore.

Get a DFS sofa bed on interest free credit, arriving tomorrow, for DH. You need sleep. Everything else comes second. Women need to learn to prioritize themselves

DH didn't qualify for sleep apnoea tests because he doesn't fall asleep at traffic lights or at his desks. And I know he frequently stops breathing. It's very frustrating. He doesn't snore as badly as yours, but it can be quite loud. I bought a pillow speaker recently, and now tune him out with audiobooks which i have up quite loud. It's a game changer as i focus on the story ( audiobooks) not the snoring, and he doesn't hear it. Really helps with my sleep.

Or better still I day bed like I posted below. It's a proper bed, with a proper mattress, makes a comfy sofa, it's cheap and cats can't claw it as the frame is metal.

I second a sofa bed; you cannot go on like this op.

Another vote for a metal day bed. I sleep on one in my living room and its very comfy (also cat proof as metal!).
I also bought some thick upholstery foam to go round the edges so it feels like a deep sofa. Then you can take turns in the bedroom if you like.

Yes, absolutely. I bet if men thought that the louder they snored the more their wife's vagina sealed shut, they'd bloody sort it out pronto!

I'm the snorer in our house. I got a private ENT referral who did sleep study. Diagnosed with moderate sleep apnoea - not bad enough to need cpap but there were a couple of options. I opted for a mandibular advancement device which is basically a mouth guard that pushes my lower jaw forward to open up my airways. It has changed our lives, I feel so much better and so does DH. My health insurance covered the cost but would have definitely been money well spent if I'd had to pay for it myself.

You have my sympathy, I’m married to a dreadful snorer too. I sent him to the gp many times before they would refer him to the sleep clinic. I had to make him promise to say the magic words sleep apnoea to the gp before they eventually agreed to a referral.
His Cpap machine saved our marriage.