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Original poster

Older boys hurt my children .

77 replies

Myboyz910 · 29/04/2025 18:43

My children are in year 4 and 5 . One has judt turned 10 the other coming up 9. They are small for their age in height and frame.

So we were in the park. I was sitting at the eating area and the boys went off to play. They were not far but I couldn't see them because of the angle. A short while after they came back to me sobbing. Telling me older boys from the local secondary school. Had been slamming them on the floor. Pulling them around hitting them and stopping the leaving the play area . As ds was telling me 2 boys from the same school came up to me and Comfirned to me what my 2 were saying . They gave me the boys names and form group.

I have phoned the school. And I'm waiting for a call back. But im really thinking they probably won't do anything. The school is in a rough area and i just feel nothing will be done.

I know a mum who's child gos to the school she knows the boys and she said they are trouble makers.

My boys don't have any marks on them. But they are really shaken up and keep crying. Poor ds keeps saying his legs are shakey when he walks. I think that's due to the upset.

OP posts:
Original poster
Myboyz910 · 29/04/2025 21:01

Lovelysummerdays · 29/04/2025 20:54

I don’t think it does, the children have been hurt/ assaulted. They are still children so consequences aren’t going to be huge but parents/ school will be informed / possible children’s panel. Hopefully they learn and their behaviour doesn’t escalate.

Show quote history

I don't think that poster meant it in a bad way. I agree with you though hopefully they will at the very least get spoken to. The 2 that done it either won't give a shit or they will rethink how they have been. Although they are a known problem at the school. So I won't hold my breath.

OP posts:
Original poster
Myboyz910 · 29/04/2025 21:55

Police are coming round on Thursday. I told ex /kids dad . He's telling me to keep them off tomorrow and tell the school they are to upset to go in. I'm not keeping them off though . Ex is being very pushy about it .

Then he was telling me to say i want something done and if its not i should go to the local papers . And the MP.

OP posts:
MoreChocPls · 30/04/2025 07:25

Please don’t go to the papers as that is just awful… you’ll make things do much worse now and in the future. I can see why your ex is an ex!

Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 07:54

MoreChocPls · 30/04/2025 07:25

Please don’t go to the papers as that is just awful… you’ll make things do much worse now and in the future. I can see why your ex is an ex!

Yeah I'm not doing anything that he said . That's not fair on my kids. We are on the way to school now. If I can I will talk to safe guarding when I drop them off

OP posts:
Mouseinthehouseeattingcheese · 30/04/2025 08:01

Lovelysummerdays · 29/04/2025 20:54

I don’t think it does, the children have been hurt/ assaulted. They are still children so consequences aren’t going to be huge but parents/ school will be informed / possible children’s panel. Hopefully they learn and their behaviour doesn’t escalate.

Show quote history

What’s a children’s panel ?

Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 08:03

Mouseinthehouseeattingcheese · 30/04/2025 08:01

What’s a children’s panel ?

Show quote history

I thought social services. Or maybe school safe guarding

OP posts:
Sunnyside4 · 30/04/2025 08:17

Let your childrens teacher know what's happened. That way, they can keep an eye on them and will understand why they could possibly be upset. Also, that you're a responsible parent and trying to do what you can to protect them.

I suspect reporting it to the police has over-ridden any action the school will take. It's been reported to a higher level and not for the school to assess and work out if a crime has been committed. However, they will now be aware (if they aren't already) what these children could be capable of.

Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 08:28

Sunnyside4 · 30/04/2025 08:17

Let your childrens teacher know what's happened. That way, they can keep an eye on them and will understand why they could possibly be upset. Also, that you're a responsible parent and trying to do what you can to protect them.

I suspect reporting it to the police has over-ridden any action the school will take. It's been reported to a higher level and not for the school to assess and work out if a crime has been committed. However, they will now be aware (if they aren't already) what these children could be capable of.

From what another teenager told me . They are a known problem at the school. It does make me think if they are doing that to to younger /smaller children what will they be like in a year or 2.

I did ring the school but apprently they were in a meeting. And will call me. But as you say I have talked the police now so maybe no contact... not sure if they will know yet though as police are coming on Thursday

OP posts:
Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 10:41

I spoke to the school head. She,was very dismissive didn't seem bothered even said there,wasn't a boy in the school called S. When there is hes in the same year as a girl I know that gos to the school. Deep down i know the police won't do anything which is ashame.

Almost forgot she also said as I didn't get the names directly from the children that done it. They may not be the correct names.

OP posts:
Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 11:57

Do i now make a complaint about the head? If so how.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 30/04/2025 11:58

Call the police.

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/04/2025 11:59

(Hope your children are ok now?)

Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 11:59

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/04/2025 11:58

Call the police.

I done a report on line. They are coming tomorrow night

OP posts:
HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 30/04/2025 12:38

Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 11:57

Do i now make a complaint about the head? If so how.

Been in a similar position. EMAIL (you want a paper trail) asking for their formal complaints policy and governors’ email address. If that doesn’t do it, you say you’re escalating to OFSTED.

You need to light a fire under her abysmal response.

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 30/04/2025 12:40

id also start quoting a crime reference number at her. Sod her “they might not be the correct names” - it’s called witness identification if needs be.

no wonder those little shits act like this with an authority figure like that

Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 12:47

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 30/04/2025 12:38

Been in a similar position. EMAIL (you want a paper trail) asking for their formal complaints policy and governors’ email address. If that doesn’t do it, you say you’re escalating to OFSTED.

You need to light a fire under her abysmal response.

Show quote history

Do i email reception? How important is spelling and grammar? I'm a bit worried if its not written well they will treat me like a muppet. I could get teen dd to help me with spelling /grammar but im not sure its a good idea since she's a child.

OP posts:
FedupofArsenalgame · 30/04/2025 12:49

mathanxiety · 29/04/2025 20:11

You should let it be known to the school that your adult DS is a police officer.

In a rough area that may result in the younger ones getting more hassle

Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 12:53

FedupofArsenalgame · 30/04/2025 12:49

In a rough area that may result in the younger ones getting more hassle

Show quote history

I don't know how I would put that across anyway. Plus ds can't be involved in anyway so its kind of pointless.

OP posts:
Scousemousey · 30/04/2025 13:03

There will most likely be a local authority Councillor on the schools board of governors, you can look this up online at GIAS (get information about schools). Email them and make a complaint. Copy in the board of the other school.

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 30/04/2025 13:05

If you only have reception’s email, that’s fine, but in the subject line write “FAO [head’s name]”

for the body, something like:

”[head’s name],

Thank you for your time on our earlier call. Unfortunately, I do not find your answers satisfactory. I maintain those boys can indeed be identified and this is indeed a serious matter. What they did meets the threshold for assault and battery and the perpetrators are well above the age of criminal responsibility. I do not believe you have taken proportionate action in this case.

I do advise that I have a crime reference number for the incident and it should be treated as such by the school.

If you consider our telephone call the end of the matter, please let me know, at your earliest opportunity: your formal complaints policy and procedure; contact details for your governors; and, any relevant officer at OFSTED I should contact.

kind regards,
[name]

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 30/04/2025 13:06

OP, don’t worry about form/content of your emails with them. Let them judge. You just have to come across as a massive pain in the arse who is not going to let this drop, so it’s in their interest to sort it rather than this snowball into a tsunami of embarrassment for the head

Mumteedum · 30/04/2025 13:12

I am so sorry to read this and completely understand how angry and upset you must be. That headteacher is completely wrong to respond like that. I'd it were me and my school/institution I'd be very concerned even if what she said is true. Yes, it's not necessarily the correct names but she could speak to the whole year group and work with police at least!

Hope you get a better support from the police.

Original poster
Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 13:16

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 30/04/2025 13:05

If you only have reception’s email, that’s fine, but in the subject line write “FAO [head’s name]”

for the body, something like:

”[head’s name],

Thank you for your time on our earlier call. Unfortunately, I do not find your answers satisfactory. I maintain those boys can indeed be identified and this is indeed a serious matter. What they did meets the threshold for assault and battery and the perpetrators are well above the age of criminal responsibility. I do not believe you have taken proportionate action in this case.

I do advise that I have a crime reference number for the incident and it should be treated as such by the school.

If you consider our telephone call the end of the matter, please let me know, at your earliest opportunity: your formal complaints policy and procedure; contact details for your governors; and, any relevant officer at OFSTED I should contact.

kind regards,
[name]

Thank you so much. What does the FAO part mean ?

OP posts:
JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 30/04/2025 13:18

Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 13:16

Thank you so much. What does the FAO part mean ?

Show quote history

For the attention of (headteacher)

lifemakeover · 30/04/2025 13:32

Myboyz910 · 30/04/2025 13:16

Thank you so much. What does the FAO part mean ?

Show quote history

I think this is a great email from @HiddenInCubeOfCheese but I would add in the detail of what you told the school verbally and how the head responded e.g.

Dear [name of headteacher]

Thank you for your time on our earlier call where I told you that my two children age 10 and 8 were assaulted in [name of the park] yesterday afternoon at [time] by two boys who attend your school. I also told you that children that attend your school who witnessed the assault reported to me that the boys who carried out the assault are called [names]. I also gave you a description of all the boys involved in the incident. You said that you did not recognise these names and that you would not be able to follow up on the incident.

Unfortunately, I do not find your answers satisfactory. I maintain those boys can indeed be identified and this is indeed a serious matter. What they did meets the threshold for assault and battery and the perpetrators are well above the age of criminal responsibility. I do not believe you have taken proportionate action in this case.

I do advise that I have a crime reference number for the incident and it should be treated as such by the school.

If you consider our telephone call the end of the matter, please let me know, at your earliest opportunity: your formal complaints policy and procedure; contact details for your governors; and, any relevant officer at OFSTED I should contact.

Kind regards,
[name]