Packing for 2 week holiday DH has no idea.

[Happyspendingthedayinthegarden]

I'm not complaining at all.

But...DH has presented me with (what he thought) was a bag that he'd packed for a 14 night Mediterranean cruise (including 3 'formal nights')

Was hilarious! He had 3 pairs of underpants, a suit that hasn't fitted him since about 199?, a pair of trackie bottoms, a pair of shorts & 2 tee shirts (one of which I'd be reluctant to allow him to wear in the garden as is so old & out of shape) - that was it!! He said that he likes to travel light. I said that he was in danger of travelling naked 😂

So, I've sent him back to his wardrobe with a list of what he should take which includes a suit that does fit him, formal shirt & ties to wear, more undies, swimming trunks, linen trousers, polo shirts, trainers to wear sight-seeing, etc etc.

A case of 'start again brother'.

His late wife used to do all his packing & now I know why. But he's an adult so needs to learn to predict what he's actually going to need.

He tells me that when he went on holiday with his late wife & asked at the airport if he'd packed his case himself he would answer 'I've been married for over 25 years - do you think my wife would allow me to pack my own suitcase?' 😂

Anyway he now has a list to work from - well 2 lists, one for his clothes, another for his medications & personal grooming stuff. I'm going to laminate it to use on our next holiday.

Just thought I'd share as I'm laughing about his idea of what he will need on a 14 night cruise.

I know you are finding it amusing but in all honesty I would be appalled if a grown adult could not anticipate what they might need for a two week holiday and pack it accordingly. Did you discuss none of this a bit beforehand? DH and i usually do a recce of what we have a few weeks before a holiday, make plans to buy anything extra needed based on what we plan to do on holiday, then pack our own cases. I would have assumed that to be normal but obviously not.

Aww, good job sending him back to do it himself rather than takeover though.

Are you sailing Cunard? If not, DH wouldn't wear a suit or ties or any trad work get up on cruises. Just chino style trousers and casual shirts, sometimes polos. With canvas shoes mainly. Adds a (non matching) jacket on formal nights.

Have a fabulous cruise, lovely time of year for it.

I don't get involved in DHs packing.
Id have just left him to it tbh and make him suffer from his useless behaviour.

He leaves it to the morning we're leaving and rushes about asking " where's X?" I just say " I don't know".

Hilarious. Not. He's useless at packing because his late wife did it for him, not the other way round. Unless he asks for your advice let him makes his own mistakes. He's not too old to learn.

'I've been married for over 25 years - do you think my wife would allow me to pack my own suitcase?'

So... playing to the stereotypes of 'man useless, wife knows best/controlling'?
And he actually can't pack for himself? Sorry but I just find this level of incompetence so unsexy but good on you for looking past that I guess??? It must be hard for you with him not working or being able to drive or operate technology very well. You know, given that all those things are more complex than him packing a suitcase which apparently he can't do 😆

God people are so miserable.

OP, they really can be crap can't they? My husband always thinks he needs shorts to go on holiday, even if it's a winter holiday to Center Parcs 🙄

I wouldn't have known any of that until we were away and then it would be entirely his problem.

Does he get to "allow" you to wear things?

Maybe natural consequences would be more useful for him?

Terrifying. My 8 year old would do a better job than that and I suspect my 5 year old was be just as crap as your DH.

My dh is better at packing than ne.
We both do our own though.

My 10 year old packs her own case now. But I guess she’s not a sexist moron

Am I the only woman who packs a small amount and still finds I took a lot of stuff I didn't need?

My holiday experiences are wearing the same things repeatedly because they're comfortable and appropriate in the heat whereas I quickly discover most of my 'holiday clothes' are not.

And all my 'going out to dinner' outfits invariably stay in the suitcase after night 1 because I either am too fucking hot or just can't be arsed to dress up because the whole holiday 'going out for dinner' every night and dressing up for it is just too much hard work?

I wouldn't go on a 4 night cruise so would also get it wrong... anyway, glad you're sorted, OP. x

Yeah, it’s embarrassing a grown adult can’t do this. My kids have been able to do this since they were about 10 or 11. For the first few holidays we’d get them to lay everything out on their beds & check what they’d laid out. They do their own now & are still in their teens.

Please don’t find this funny. He’s an adult man who can hold down a job and drive a car-and he needs a woman to write him a packing list??

Unless there are learning difficulties involved, a grown adult should be able to pack their own case. I can’t abide this sort of thing. Have you EVER heard of an adult woman doing it? No? Tells you something, that.

Yes, I've recently done quite a few city breaks flying only with the underseat bag. It really focuses the mind on what you need to take/can leave behind, but even so, I always return with things I haven't worn.

I find once you're there, you don't really care what you're wearing.

I've also done trips where undies need to be washed in the sink, which is fine. DH would have had to manage, which I'm sure he would.

The way I see it, if you've got your bank card you'll be OK, but usually you can manage without the thing you've "forgotten " anyway.

There’s absolutely nothing about this kind of incompetent male that I would find endearing. But it also wouldn’t occur to me to police my partner’s clothing so maybe one thing leads to another.

Why are you finding this hilarious? I have been married over 25 years and never packed for DH nor he for me. Because we are adults.

I hate to say it but it’s women like you who facilitate this kind of man to continue existing. The classic man who relies on his wife for everything because “he is simply unable to do it right himself”. It’s weaponised incompetence. It’s not funny, or silly or quirky and it isn’t a case of “oh what is he like 😂”, it’s mortifying. In fact, I’d be really embarrassed to be married to a man like this, let alone posting it to a public forum for everyone to read.

My FIL is like this. MIL even lays out his clothes daily for him. Even DH finds it frustrating... (and he can be clueless at times).

I find it a bit sad really... amusing on the surface but deep down, its problematic.

DH forgot to pack swimming shorts on our honeymoon. I have a photo of him at the swim up bar in his next briefs 😳. Not a good look.

He has improved a lot since then.

My mum does it too, but it's really her control freakery. As in OP, if he took what he packed he'd manage.

No I didn't discuss before. I didn't see a need to as I was dealing with an adult who told me that he'd packed his bag & invited me to check that he had everything that was needed. This is our first 'big' holiday. Usually a few pairs of underpants, shorts & a couple of tee shirts has done the job as pants, tee-shirts etc can be washed & dried. I think DH was a bit infantilised by his late wife. She didn't work & all she had to do (after children left home) was manage the household so took charge of everything.

Are you sailing Cunard? If not, DH wouldn't wear a suit or ties or any trad work get up on cruises.
No Princess.
He's not too old to learn.
Exactly - I'm not his late wife or mother.
Id have just left him to it tbh and make him suffer from his useless behaviour.
Maybe natural consequences would be more useful for him?
But that would have ruined my <very expensive> holiday with him not having the right clothes & him spending time in the laundry rather than with me (because I wouldn't have done it for him)
Does he get to "allow" you to wear things?
Heck no! What I wear is entirely up to me. He may say that something suits me better than other things, but never, ever has said 'I'm not happy with you wearing that darling'
It must be hard for you with him not working or being able to drive or operate technology very well.
You are correct. Because of medical conditions (seizures) he's not able to drive & also has problems with IT - but that's a generational thing as he had to stop work in his mid 50's to care for his late wife & isn't as tech-savvy as me.

You wouldn't believe the number of times me and DP have arrived at a wedding or weekend away and he realises he hasn't packed his shirt/suit/shoes. Many emergency shopping trips later he has learnt precisely nothing. Holidays are the same. I don't get involved.

The two things I make sure he has are passport and insurance, because they would impact me aswell.