I just want to find out if AIBU?
There are 3 apartments building close together (all rented apartments with the same landlord) so we as residents kinda connect to each other and discuss internal matters as well our children play together in front of one at the building.
Today my son, who is 3 was playing around with one of his friend and my neighbour (that I am close with - I will call her NM) was there with her daughter, 3, as well. Another neighbour (GC), who has a 5 year old DD, sent her out with her aunt, who has few months old twins. (I am close with my both neigbours, our children play together daily and they are close to each other too. So we are all moms and protecting (or over protecting). My son is very active and naugthy too. Girls were playing with baby dolls in the prams and my little one wanted to join them, but they took their stuff and went away. I am generally keep on looking at him, as I know he might can kick or hit, but not every time starting.
So I saw a 5 year old who hitted my son. He run after her and hitted her back. Her mom was not around, just her aunt was. I said: please no hitting! And went to the direction. At the same time the NM and aunt came to me. While I was saying no hitting, they both came upset, shouting where I was when he was hitting her with a stick. NM was shouting at my son to apologise and demanded her turn to speak. The aunt said: Where you were when he hitted her with a stick previously? (He didn't have a stick at that time, so not sure when he did it and why they did not come to me then!) My little one said: I'm sorry XY. But NM was keep on speaking very loudly demandind is her turn to talk and I said I will talk to her mom instead. Then NM said she feels like she is her daughter too (although we all play together and sometimes I take her for a walk or somewhere so I am definitely not a stranger and they see each other daily). GC(girls mom) appeared and I got up to talk to her, saying I will talk to her, then the aunt said: talk to me, I am her aunt. I walked off but they came after me. I went to GC saying, I'm sorry, my son hitted your daughter. I said - I think they should sort them out themselves, but she said they obviously can not as he is keep on doing that. (yes was not the first time, but she told me too, that her daughter in question was literally hitting every single child on the playground when she was 3 and this is actually not the case with mine...) however... They came to her, telling her whatever and I took mine aside and scolded him. Then they all walked off and we did not talk again.
Another neighbour who was sitting in the area told me later that went I went off to sort it out, her son (3) came to her telling, that my son was getting hit.
I know he should not be hitting or kicking and I am working on that!
It's all a mess. And I know what I wrote is hard to understand. I will sort it out with girl's mom tomorrow and I will explain I was upset cause both our negibour and her sister was mainly shouted on my son, the aunt actually told the girl to hit him back, which I would not tell him ever, beside the girl is 5 and she is much stronger than him. But neigbour NM, who is my good friend, was she not out of place shouting at my child? To be honest she complained to GC before, saying how rude XY (her daughter) was to NM daughter. (!!!) Another day she had a problem with another child on the playground, so badly, that she actually walked off and call police to patrol the area. After she walked off furious, other parents were discussing her behaviour as overreacting, that she should know better as she is a mom.
I think she is over sensitive and although I agree her daughter normally doesn't do anything bad, even if she would it will never be in fault.
Not that this is related, but yesterday the debate came on the attack of India (as she is Pakistani origins, though born in the UK), saying that she doesn't believe it was a terrorist attack and the biggest terrorists are Jews in Gaza and that she admires Hitler who should have killed more Jews. This kind of debate on the children playground. Am I delusional, or this woman is toxic and over sensitive...
We planned a day out with another mom on Wed and now I don't know if I will go for it. She never says I'm sorry anyway as she never does anything wrong apparently. I am always on egg shells around her.
I don't know if I am looking for an advice or I just needed to rant.
Am I AIBU thinking that NM should not interfere that much and that she had no place shouting on my child? As well as the aunty should not told XY to hit him back?
Any advice how to get my child to stop hitting? Not that I am apologising his behaviour, but just to explain he doesn't do it hard or more than once (it is not numerous out of control hits that doesn't stop immediately).