DH, SD & Godmother

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SD lives with myself and DH. She has no contact at all with biological mother but she still has contact with Godmother. GM was friends with bio mum but now also has no contact with her. That's the background.
SD went to stay with GM over the Easter weekend. They did a bit of shopping, sightseeing, takeaway & film. Whilst watching the film they had a bottle of bucksfizz. In the morning GM had a hair appointment and SD was still lazing around so she left her for an hour or so in bed whilst she went (told SD she was going).
DH is furious. Both with the alcohol and leaving her alone. I'm really not in step with how strong he's feeling about this! He's talking about stopping her having any contact at all but I think he's massively over reacting and it's good for SD to have an adult in her life that's not in a parenting role.

How old is she?

Is she 16 or 6?

The crucial detail you have missed is the age of SD

Missing age

If she’s 8 I see a problem.
If she’s 18 I don’t see a problem.

Sorry! She's 15. She'll be 16 in September and she was going to be going away with GM as a treat but DH is dead set against it now.
She's a good sensible kid.

16 or over he needs to chill but any younger I wouldn’t be happy

You DH is being very unreasonable

Borderline. Just tell her Dad was unhappy with alcohol I’m sure she’ll take it on board.

Does she have any additional needs? Even on MN aren't most 15 able to be left alone?

Buck’s Fizz from a bottle is very weak- like shandy weak. 3% or something.

I wouldn’t stress about that, or about leaving her home for a lie in.

I wouldn’t stress, at most, tell DD that alcohol isn’t good for developing brains so she needs to be aware.

I mean, she effectively had a slurp of someone’s wine/beer. Really negligible amount.

I imagine them having a bottle of Buck’s Fizz was one glass for the 15 year old and the rest for the adult. Even if they exactly shared it I think it’s about 4% alcohol. Sounds like a lovely time.

The leaving her alone is fine..the bucks fizz I'd be pissed off about too. My daughter is a similar age and there's no way I would be encouraging her to drink. Accepting that she might sneak alcohol with friends? Yep. Happy with her having 1 glass of bucks fizz with us at a celebration, yes.
It's the idea of an adult leading a 15 yo into drinking half a bottle that is out of order for me. Just why?

No additional needs. DH says she was left alone in a strange city. But from what she's saying she was in bed!

I wouldn’t worry about this , she is old enough to be left alone and Buck’s Fizz is not strong alcohol

Leaving a 15 year old alone for an hour is fine 🙄

Bucks fizz is about 4% and a couple of glasses for a 15 yo as a treat is fine to me 🤷‍♀️

Personally I wouldn't stop the next trip but I would ask the GM not to give her alcohol.

Is she the sort that would get confused and wander off? I'd have thought a typical 15 year old would just chill on her phone or watch TV if they knew the person that they were staying with would be back in an hour.

Your husband is being controlling, over protective and at risk of living his daughter if he carries on behaving like this.

Drinking something with barely any alcohol, in a home environment, under the watch of a responsible adult? Surely that’s a better introduction to alcohol than necking something with her mates in a park. Godmother sounds wonderful and I bet SD had a wonderful time with her!
And at 15, of course she can be at home by herself!
DH is being very unreasonable here.

At 15 I'd raise an eyebrow at the bucks fizz but not enough to kill an otherwise positive relationship with her Godmother.

If she's not OK being left in bed for an hour at that age than honestly I think that's a failing on Dad's part, not the Godmother!

Ok your DH needs to remember he is dealing with a 15 year old not a 5 year old and any cutting off now is going to have fallout on him and him alone.

first off leaving a 15yesr old for an hour is not even worth getting concerned about

the Buck’s Fizz i think that should be a parenting decision and one where I think a simple please don’t make them without me is sufficient

please talk to him OP about the damage this could do to his relationship with his daughter unless he unclenches a bit.

I think your DH is being ridiculous

Being left alone would be a non issue for me; the alcohol mainly would bother me that she didn’t ask a parent and generally I think it’s unnecessary at that age but I’d be more miffed but Buck’s Fizz is very weak

What's his problem with it? Is ex an alcoholic?