12yr old arrested

[WineandMe]

Good evening.
Sorry for rambling if I do.
So, my son is 12, he is Autistic, ADHD with ODD and sensory.
He attends a SEN school which specialises in SEMH run by the LA
It's not the best high school but due to LA funding , it's all he can get into.

He is under CAMHs and a referral has been sent into Forensic CAMHs, which is still under review.

Today I was called at 1.20 to come to school to collect DS, no details were known, just that the head had asked reception to call me to collect DS.

I turned up, 3 police cars were in the car park, head, class teacher and other members of staff were around the car park area. 3 students including my DS were on the school roof.

Ive had issues with DS, which has now seen me have to hide all knives in the safe at home which school are aware of, especially in the last 2 weeks.

School told me that DS had been on the roof for 2 hours, before calling me.

Once he was down he was arrested for criminal damage and brandishing a knife at home.
The police said that the custody sergent would refuse him into custody but the shock factor of arresting him may shock him into maybe changing his ways.
Im hopeful that this is the case. He is getting a referral for the youth offending team to work with him regarding his behaviour in public and knife crime.

We have Early help hub working with us. But what I want to know is, will SS be called? Im not bothered if they are, as I think it could be extra help with DS and support for me. But it wasn't a question I asked and I wished I had have asked.

TIA

it isn’t actually the end of the world if the days he’s with his dad are unmedicated

It could well be the end of the DS’s if he goes unmedicated when with his dad

Unmedicated ADHD is your brain having a need for dopamine. Who knows what the DS will do to get the dopamine he needs.

Being it his brain screaming out for that need, he won’t be able to stop himself if, for example, he gets bored waiting for the green man and decides to run across the road

Gave that example as I have done that (quite regularly) In hindsight, after I have had the dopamine rush I can see it is dangerous but I think at the moment of stepping off the kerb my brain was screaming for dopamine and the noise drowned out any sensible precautions

So going unmedicated could end in disaster

I work with a number of children where the compromise is that they dont take their medication at weekends or in school holidays. They dont want to take the medication but at the moment we have enough buy in from them to take it during the school week to at least mitigate difficiulties at school. CAMHS often recommend taking the meds at some points and not at others

Obviously it depends on what the prescriber is advising.

Op it’s bloody hard .

Ask Camhs about NVR . I found it really helpful not only for my son but me as well .

My Ds absolutely would not engage with CAMHS, they walked on egg shells around him .

He co incidentally was on the roof of a playhouse refusing to come down at home years ago . I wrote it in the home / school. Book - they reported it to Camhs as safeguarding concerns and asked for urgent review which happened .

we also had police involvement , yes Ss held a meeting and we had a family support worker who was no help at all tbh but that isn’t the case for everyone.

Will SS become involved do you think now?

What NVR?

A report will go to Ss yes - there involvement I can’t answer but there is definitely an approach to stop children involved with the police to avoid getting records .

I have a friend similar situation to me - yes it opened doors .

NVR is none violence resistance . It is a whole approach to dealing with children with challenging needs - this isn’t always about aggression .

Oh gosh , I thought I had struggles but you really are dealing with an enormous amount

sorry his dad is working against you , what a knob

i found CAMHS an utter disappointment , i think you will have a SS visit due to police involvement and they will offer of help
( bloody parental classes) but as you are a capable parent doing their best they will leave you alone

sorry no advice but wishing you all the best ,

Ok thank you. With us having early help hub working with us infant sure if SS would be told. Not that im bothered, I've nothing to hide regards my parenting.

Ive done all the parenting lessons that's been thrown at me over the years since he was put on the sen register.

..sorry, wrong thread

NVR is also the approach taken by ADHD Dude. Be aware that many of the courses on NVR are actually mainly on connective parenting which relies heavily on a) talking to your child about things they probably have no access to and b) assumes you never do much with your children.

We had a social worker argue with us that they are the same but the NVR parts of the training work well with a dopamine driven ADHD child and the connective parts are counter productive.

(I should get commission, I know I bore on about ADHD Dude constantly but nothing else has helped us at all really).

Of course SS will be called. Your son was on the school roof with a knife and god arrested.

He wasn't with a knife. He had the knife at home few days before this episode.

Little update
Ds when back to school today and had his reintegration meeting with HT. She said things were now in place so that's students can no longer access the roof. Risk assessment for DS was at the highest level for the school etc, more meetings will take place with regards to 1-1 and staffing for DS etc

Police called today to make an appt for me to take ds to the station to speak to someone regarding knife crime and disruptive behaviour etc

No report to SS has been made.

Turned up to school at 2.30 to collect DS and a child (not mine) was on the roof... so?! What happened to the access been removed?!
🙄

Because unfortunately children find ways to do things we dont want them to do

Clearly now one child has a big exciting fuss made because they got on the roof now everyone thinks it looks fun