Can we talk honestly about Laundry?

[Giggleslikespickles]

I have a husband and two young boys and I CANNOT keep on top of my washing unless I become obsessed and it’s all I do and all I think about (yes I’m over exaggerating but genuinely feels like this sometimes)

I need some helpful tips or like minded people to make me feel better about my failures 😝

I’m literally always routing through clean clothes that are still on top of the washing machine because I hate how soul destroying it is putting clothes into piles and then walking upstairs over and over again to put them away just to se them either thrown on the floor or back in the laundry - it’s monotonous, tedious and quite frankly boring

What can I do to make my life easier and embrace the task? I’m done being surrounded by clothes that aren’t in the places they should be

My DH and I do ours separately. When we put on our own, we add whatever is in the kids basket. I usually put the towels and bedding washes on but my DH hangs it out/shoves it in the dryer and takes it upstairs when dry. I put it away (not neatly!). We don't iron. My friends think our system is wierd but it never feels overwhelming so suits us.

Concentrate less on doing the laundry and more on training the other members of the household. At the moment, they do sod all, yet clean clothes appear as if by magic.

You are not the magic laundry fairy.

I have a husband, teen, primary school child and baby.
The laundry is killing me.
I cannot keep on top of it.
I am filled with dread whenever I look at the utility room.
If I could outsource one job it would be the laundry.

Same here, although I did do it at one point but had the same issue of disrespect so stopped.
I wash my clothes when I have a full load , DH does the same and my DS did his when he lived here.
Zero waste -only run full loads, everyone was respectful and as if by magic the laundry reduced by half when they had to do the task themselves 😂

• disclaimer No we don't waste water, money or electricity by washing our own" That always comes up on these threads

How do you know who's pants are whose?

You need to share the load, literally. It sounds like your children are young but is there a reason your DH can’t take over some of the laundry tasks? It would feel less overwhelming if you were only responsible for getting it washed and dried and he was then responsible for getting it folded and put away correctly for example.

Dh has just informed me that we need to do 4 loads today to be up to date. I told him that it's a lovely day for hanging outside. 😉

It was our dd coming home from uni with a few loads worth that caused this backlog.

My advice is to, gradually over the years, let it become one of your dh's obsessions.

I take all the dry clothes straight upstairs in basket from line/ dryer. I sort them on my bed with my wardrobe open and put away my clothes straight away and pile DH/ kids clothes and put them in their rooms.
DH also does laundry, he's better than me at setting up the washer overnight every evening or so. I'd rather spend a whole day getting the laundry done for the week.

Each family member has own personal laundry hamper in their room.

Older kids notice when they are down to last clean clothes and put on their own wash. I help with any parts of the process (eg putting in/taking out of dryer) where needed/where I can. Clothes once washed and dried go back into basket and straight back into their bedroom. Kids do own folding or not as they prefer.

I keep an eye on younger childs clothes and do their wash, fold, put away, and increasingly involve them in the steps (eg. Put clothes in the machine, fold and put away).

Fortunately the kids are motivated to have clean clothes to wear, so the natural consequence is built into the system. Also instead of feeling like a servant who supplies clean clothes magically, or needing to ask the kids to "help me" it is obvious that I am helping them when I do part of the laundry process.

There's only 3 of us in our house. I have taught my son from a very young age, that dirty clothes go into the laundry basket. If it's not in the laundry basket, it won't get washed. If clothes are taken off and dumped on the floor/bed, that results in nothing more than an irritated Mum, who's likely to raise her voice, until the clothes are moved into the laundry basket!! In fairness, he rarely dumps clothes he takes off on the floor etc! My husband is a neat freak, so wouldn't dream of putting dirty clothes anywhere, other than the laundry basket. I have a routine with laundry - might be sad, but it makes sure it's done - Monday, Wednesday, Friday and usually Saturday. Towels on a Thursday when I do my housework. Once dried, the clothes that need ironing are put in the basket, and I iron 3 times a week - Monday, Wednesday and Friday - the rest folded and put away. I only put away my own clothes and son's, my husband does his own. Once my son is older he will be putting his own away too. My husband jokes that I am obsessed with laundry, but I just like to make sure it's all done, and I don't have stacks to do, and no clean clothes. I tell my husband he'd be the first to moan if he had no clean underwear or had to put a huge stack of clothes away once a week!

There are 4 of you in the house, 2 of you are fully capable of managing laundry. 2 can be taught. Stop doing it all yourself.

get 4 laundry baskets.
1 for you
1 for your husband

both empty wash your own individually when full.

1 for children’s dark / coloured clothes
1 for all household whites.

either adult can empty and wash those baskets when full.
children can easily be taught to put their clothes in the right baskets and asked to bring one of them to the machine and help do the laundry.

@Icreatedausernameyippee as a terrible housekeeper, if a chore is making you full of dread then outsource it, at least temporarily. Talk to a cleaning company about getting a one off cleaner to do a day of laundry, drying, ironing/folding and put away (or two half days). Obviously you might need to help sort dry clothes into the relevant people's piles. Get yourself to a point where it is all done, and reset with new systems.

12kg machine. Lots of drying airers, washing lines, heated airers and a dryer.
cur back on ironing.

Can you divide it? So you’re responsible for clothing laundry, your DH is responsible for all towels and bedding including stripping and remaking the beds as well as replacing the towels?

Why isn’t your DD doing her washing at uni? I’m an old hag but I’m sure there were washing machines in our halls. And I hand washed all my taselled skirts 🤣.

@ChompinCrocodiles

We have six washing baskets in a unit in the bathroom:

1. Kids tops
2. Adult tops
3. All trousers/shorts/PJ's
4. Socks and pants
5. Towels
6. Sports wear

Everyone puts their dirty laundry in the relevant basket, when it's full it gets washed (each full basket fits nicely in one load).

Am genuinely interested in this method. Are your clothes very similar colours? If a "top" basket contains white school polos, a red sweater and a navy t shirt are you throwing them all in together? I sort by colour rather than item type which works well also and means we have complete outfits washed at the same time (e.g. jogger sets) rather than the bottoms waiting for the top to catch up in another wash.

Laundry takes up far too much of my headspace!

We have individual laundry baskets. Everyone's laundry washed individually, dried, folded, back in their individual basket and upstairs to bedroom to be put away. No faffing around separating colours (unless there's something new that might run). White wash done on a weekend in one go (only school shirts/my white bras, otherwise white is banned!). Everyone has their own towels (mine are navy patterned, husbands plain navy, child's lighter blue) washed after 2-3 uses on a 30 min quick cycle because they're not exactly dirty. Bedding on a 60 degree wash but plenty of spare sets that it's not an urgent job needing a quick turnaround.

If you've got a huge backlog that needs washing/drying that you can't get on top of, go to a laundrette and use their massive machines. Then implement a system that will allow you to maintain.

We have one laundry basket in the bathroom. Everyone knows that dirty washing goes there. None gets left in bedrooms.

Each morning 6am a wash goes on and providing its dry outside on the washing line by 7am. If towels need a freshen up they get a 15 minute quick wash and on the line (they get a full hot wash weekly)

Whoever is back home first tends to bring it in and separate into clothes that can go away and clothes which need ironing. These tend to get left for one ironing session on a Thursday night.

DC have enough white shirts and polo shirts for 5 days so whites are on once a week. Same with school trousers and blazer.

Gym and sports gear all goes in together where possible due to being quick drying and none iron.

Bedding is a whichever day is warmest job. Straight in, on line, on to bed (if hungry straight out needs no iron)

I refuse to hang out underwear due to it being more fiddly so drier goes on with these together and oldest gets the task of separating into piles, pairing socks and delivering a neat pile to each room which everyone then puts away.

To add. Everyone puts their own washing away.

Sorry, I have no tips but you are most definitely not alone 😭

Delegate and train up all the family. Laundry is not a 'you' job.
It might take a couple of weeks but afterwards you can just supervise.

De-clutter your dc clothes and your own.

Stop creating washing in the first place.

Retire bath sheets. Just have bath towels, they take up less room, do the same job and it cuts down the number of loads you do.

Wear everything one more time(not undies)

Get the dc to put their laundry away while their bath is running. Or child A puts his away while you/child B is in the shower. Aim to get the cleaned clothes in aproximate right place before bed. They will improve with time.

Have a chair to put 'worn once' clothes on in their room. There might be an odd assortment by the end of the week. That is fine. At some point there will be an outfit. They wear that.

A triple shelf clothes dryer was the game changer for me. With arms for hangers. Takes 3 loads. No more traipsing around the house looking for empty radiators or bannisters. No more scrunched up stuffed in radiator creases. One stop shop. I got mine off Ebay about £15 worth it's weight in gold.

Best of luck @Giggleslikespickles training your boys. You future dils will thank you.

I only do my own washing, the kids do theirs, with the exception of one midweek was when everyone’s sportswear goes in together. When I had a partner, he did his. We all have a day when the washing machine is solely ours, and towels and bedding go in on the day with the best weather for drying. I sometimes help Ds by reminding him, or if he is out I am happy to empty the washer, hang up, and put another load on for him, but he has to remember ask me to do this

Stop seeing the role of a woman as being to clean up men and boys dirt.

get your husband to clean his own dirty clothes and your sons as soon as they are of a reasonable age. Before they are reasonable age get your husband to manage your sons laundry. Yes even if he works full time (gasp).

but I bet one hundred percent you won’t do this.

Oh, and I don’t iron, we don’t even own one. 5 min in the tumble dryer, shake, and hang up to dry - no creases

takes 10 mins to hang out washing and 5 mins to fold. Unless you’re hand washing the. YAbU