Can we talk honestly about Laundry?

[Giggleslikespickles]

I have a husband and two young boys and I CANNOT keep on top of my washing unless I become obsessed and it’s all I do and all I think about (yes I’m over exaggerating but genuinely feels like this sometimes)

I need some helpful tips or like minded people to make me feel better about my failures 😝

I’m literally always routing through clean clothes that are still on top of the washing machine because I hate how soul destroying it is putting clothes into piles and then walking upstairs over and over again to put them away just to se them either thrown on the floor or back in the laundry - it’s monotonous, tedious and quite frankly boring

What can I do to make my life easier and embrace the task? I’m done being surrounded by clothes that aren’t in the places they should be

Can I just say what about the ‘bigger picture’ of working as a team? So what if I tend to do most of the washing because I’m better at it? (Slightly I must admit 😂) My husbands does things that I don’t do because it’s where his strengths lie? We utilise ours strengths and it works for us hence a long and happy marriage and happy home.

I’ve done this post to engage with other people about how they keep on top of the laundry to see if any tips can be shared

It would be nice if such posts weren’t seen as a red flag to attack others. Let’s just respect each other and all of our own unique ways of running households 😊

I have 3 girls and a partner - I do all baby laundry separately - whoever is at home helps fold away the clothing. Darks wash whenever needed in week and one white wash on a Friday after school week - everyone folds and puts away both said laundries. I don't let my husband do the laundry much as I have teen daughters (not his) under wear etc and don't need him to put wash on when I am around but when I have been away on holiday he has done laundries when needed? I don't mind laundry tbh I'd rather do this than the other chores that I leave for the husband and kids (dusting hoovering mopping)

Very good point, dusting is also a job I hate, possibly more than laundry 😝

OP laundry drives me insane too.

I WFH so apparently it’s my job (amongst everything else). 2 large teens, 1 smaller teen and 1 tween. Plus 2 adults

My issue is things being worn but not actually needing a wash - jeans worn for a couple of hours then shoved straight in the wash. Hoodies when they have had a tshirt underneath them anyway and aren’t actually dirty - take ages to dry when it’s cold.

I sort the dirty washing out before bed, put it on first thing and I get the kids to all put their own stuff away. I’d say if they can reach their clothing rail to take things out, they are more than capable of putting things away. I will only ever help out the tween

We have 4 DC and they all
did sports. We had 4 communal wash baskets.

darks
whites
red/purple/pink
specials (basically DH do not touch) plus tea towels/hand towels etc.

We did a load everyday going by which was fullest. If it wasn’t in there it didn’t get washed.

Laundry sorted after dinner in the dining room by everyone or risk losing your clothes to your sister (thank goodness they were soon all way taller than me).

I haven't rtft so this may have been covered already but there's a lot to be said for everyone having fewer clothes so that they keep tabs on them better and don't just throw them in the wash before they need it.

but I kind of banned him as he always messes my ‘system’ up

but your “system” is…. Well, a bit crap op! So maybe him getting involved may give you a bit of time to work out a system that isn’t a bit crap!

You’ve said this twice now and it’s still wrong. I can’t believe an adult man are not capable of doing the laundry properly. Because that IS all that it comes down to.

And ”your system” obviously doesn’t work either.

It's not me that's angry. It's you who started a thread cos you're so ground down with the laundry. My advice is sound and would ultimately be a game changer for you. If you just want twee little tips though on how you can be a better domestic appliance, you should have said.

How old are your boys?

I have a system for laundry & wash certain loads on certain days, have done for years. Everyone knows what's going in, on what day & I remind them as I go upstairs to shower and sort the next day's load. That's brought down as I go to bed (plenty of time for missed items to be chucked in) and put on a timer the next morning to be hung out or hung on airer when I get in from work.

Repeat every day. Putting away previous day's washing as the new load is hung. I do mine, theirs is piled neatly and put on beds (I finish work earlier than the girls) to be put away.

If you miss a load because you cba to put stuff in the basket 🤷‍♀️. Not my problem.

Having said all that, I was really unwell a couple of years ago & the world didn't stop turning when the girls & their dad took over everything. Clothes were still washed, hung, dried and put away...just not how I do it. & when dd1 has a day off, she gets on with whatever washing needs to be done, doesn't hang about for me.

We do have a dryer I use for towels, purely for drying speed, if there's a full load to go in in the week.

I'm really not attacking you. Robustness isn't attack. It just doesn't sound like team work if he's jeopardising your efforts. Let's say he does the lions share of the cooking and you do the shopping. You can't be arsed checking the use by dates, so the fridge is full of out of date food. He comes to cook a meal, gets the ingredients out but then finds its all mouldy. So he has to now go shopping to re-buy the ingredients before he can even start cooking. That's dividing tasks up but in no way is it team work. If he spoke to you about it but you just did the same thing again, he'd be forced to take over the shopping and the cooking. It's no different with the laundry.

You could have put away all that clean laundry in the time you’ve been mumsnetting op.

We only have one 10mo and I feel the same 😂 I also have ADHD, and find laundry very difficult.

I've gotten around it in a few ways.

1. Set laundry days. In between nothing gets washed, no matter what. This also helps me think about what is actually dirty, as otherwise I just chuck things from my floorbrobe into the wash even if they're clean.

2. Split into people. I do the baby clothes separately as I can't stand sorting laundry either. If you really want to, have a separate basket for things like undies and socks.

3. In all honesty, I just own enough pants, that if I truly CBA and fall behind a little, I still have enough clean knickers.

4. Abandon ironing. Most things don't need it.

5. Don't wear clean PJs every night. Towels don't need swapping daily. Unless you've spilt something, denim jeans easily last two weeks.

6. If I had space, I'd have a tumblr dryer.

7. Just get everyone is better responsible for their own laundry if they're old enough.

Has the op confirmed how old her children are?

I am same set up, husband and two older boys. We’re all active so there’s always laundry. I have a box for each of us, and wash twice a week, no separating whites/darks etc.
Pull it all out the dryer and fold it into our boxes in front of the TV and then everyone is responsible for putting their laundry away in their rooms.
We have a separate laundry room so business/work clothes for me/husband go on hangers and drying rods straight out of the dryer and we take them to our closets.

We also have shit tons of active wear so the only things I have to worry about are their club shirts for their training and make sure I don’t run out of sports bras.

😂 I’ve been doing it intermittently tbf
Well me and boys have packed it all away and now to slog on with the back log 🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh don't be ridiculous. I'm pretty sure my dh does more of the domestic tasks than I do. He certainly does more cooking, all the bin taking/DIY/lawnmowing etc and pays for the cleaning. But the OP here is currently doing the laundry and therefore appears to have taken that role as her responsibility, so if she isn't enjoying it I'm just saying pass some of the tasks over. That may involve a trade with something else her partner us currently doing

They’re 9 and 11

Who’s cooking the Easter lunch?!

Do you both work full time?

is having a cleaner out of the question?

Sounds very very similar to us with all the uniforms and school games kits etc too. I definitely think I need boxes or shelves to put their things into and then hand the responsibility over to them to put away in their bedrooms 😀

Thank you for your help 💡

As I’ve said previously my two children did it from 8. They were taught.
eg don’t drop washing powder on the floor - one level scoop - make a mess you clean it. Set a timer on Alexa 1 hour and 5 minutes - then you peg it out. I taught them to do this. Peg bag, stool, hang like this

I had to teach my stepson who was over 20, how to do it properly - no one had taught him.

Take your clothes peg out. Small ones on the inside, build outwards etc and so it goes on.

Cloth wipe around the machine.

I don’t want any of my children, male or female to not know how to do their own washing to a high standard.

They can all declog and maintain one too and they can have have changed the belt etc it’s part of learning to adult. They also see my DH doing it properly too.

Kids learn by example. No matter what the biological sex.

Husband is doing that but for tea 😋

I don’t want any of my children, male or female to not know how to do their own washing to a high standard.

each to their own but I wouldn’t want my 8 year old doing laundry. There’s enough time to be doing that in life!

I rocked up at uni and I had never washed my own clothes. Ever.

new uni friends taught me in about oooh 10 minutes? and now I’m absolutely on top of it as a single mum of two!