Has your child ever “gone missing”

[Hipposat]

Yesterday 4yo DS2 went missing for ten minutes (although it felt like hours) Me, him, DH and DS1 were at an outdoor fair. DS1 was on a ride with DH and I took DS2 to the bouncy castles. All was fine, then DS1 came over to say DH had sent him over to get his phone off me (it was in my bag) I must have had my eyes off DS2 for roughly 5 seconds, turned back round to watch him on the bouncy castle and he was no where to be seen.

All 3 of us were running around shouting his name, asking people if they had seen a little boy walking around on his own, told a member of staff about the situation and they were helping us look for him and they stopped letting anyone in or out. At this point I am trying my best to stay calm but also trying not to throw up from fear. God it was absolutely terrifying. It was such a large space with hundreds of people. So scary.

DS1 eventually spotted him at the top of a fun house running around having the time of his life. I’ve never felt relief like it. I actually cried when I got hold of him. He is autistic so doesn’t understand the danger of just running off from us and wouldn’t have been able to tell anybody he was lost etc so this made it all seem even worse. We recently got rid of his reins as he was doing really well without them but I am going to order some again I think😅

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I barely slept last night with guilt

Lost ds in Bath, when he was 3 or 4 years old- he had gone into a shop after me but he'd gone into the wrong shop - it was really busy and he couldn't get out. He was missing for 10 minutes - felt like a lifetime - everyone was looking for him - massive cheers when someone found him - it was just after Madeline McCann had disappeared.
Then we lost dd when she was 5 or 6 in Legoland - we'd written our mobile number on her arm and she had gone to a female member of staff. She was very upset, she did what she was supposed to do (we had talked about what to do in the event of getting lost) but even so she was terrified that we still wouldn't find her.

Haha, you've just reminded me of the time ds did this! He must have been about 2 and not long in a proper bed. I could hear him snoring so I knew he wasn't missing, but when I went into the room his bed was empty. I was so confused until I found him underneath the bed 😂

I always try to dress mine in bright colours when we are off somewhere busy (DS - even at 12 - has a few fluorescent tshirts and his swimmers are bright too) and the girls have a few bright dresses / tops / swimmers we use. Mine are older now so I always set ground rules when we arrive somewhere busy, the main one being if we get separated stay where you are

As we're in London we've had the talk about getting separated getting off tube or buses (get off as next stop and we will come for you)

I lost DD1 in H&M when she was about 2. The staff and security guards were more than useless. We were upstairs (there was an exit on this level too leading to a mezzanine level of shops and restaurants!!). Found her after about 5 minutes and yes she was hiding in a clothes rack but I did go back at a later date and spoke to the manager about lost child protocols.

I always took a quick sneaky snap of mine at the start so I knew what they were wearing. For big days out they had a little ID band.

I never lost them once though. We were talking about this at work this week funnily enough and it just never happened. I am very anxious and always on edge though. Backpack reins or double buggy before school age helped.

DS2 was / is a wanderer and when we're out in groups still "where's daft?" is a familiar refrain from others even now hes a teen. The prime ones I remember from his younger years: a large London museum aged 3 for 30+ mins, Legoland similar age for similar time, massive peak season rammed beach aged 6 or 7 for an hour. I was surpsingly blasé for most of them as he always was found.

Yes. Missing for 45 minutes last week. He had wandered off to a local park he is not allowed to go to on his own. He went with a child that's in his class. They genuinely didn't think they did anything wrong. One of my neighbours went out searching with DH and my two older DC. Eventually found safe and well. He's 7yo.

I always took a quick sneaky snap of mine at the start so I knew what they were wearing

My mother used to dress my sister and I in identical outfits so if one of us went missing she remembered what was being worn. 😬

When DD was around 5 we lived on a quiet little road where all the children played out together (communal front gardens, nice pavement for riding bikes up and down, and a little playpark). DD was playing with the other kids as usual, with occasionally checks but then on one check she wasn't there and the other kids couldn't tell me where she was. Got half the road out searching for her, up and down the road and was about to call the police when someone found her hiding in a bush (think she thought she was playing a great trick on us by hiding there).
Thing is, after we found her one of the other mums mentioned that her DD had been lost in the exact same bush before, had actually fallen asleep curled up in the bush, and they had the police out with search dogs and everything before they found her.

I also went missing once, when I was just a toddler. Wandered out of our garden and down the alley to sit on the steps next to the pizza parlour because the smell was so nice. Was just sat there happily apparently while my parents panicked and searched everywhere

I found a toddler, standing all on his own, in the middle of a crowd at a 10k race. Poor little lad was sobbing and everyone was ignoring him. I knew not to move him so I sat on the ground and comforted him in between yelling at people to find a race marshall.

He was soon reunited with his mum.

Once in a shop when DD2 was 4 and it was the most sickening feeling of my life. It wasn't a very big shop, she'd gone over towards the back of the shop to look at some toys and I was just picking up a skirt near the entrance. I looked up and she was gone. I was almost sure she couldn't have left the shop because she'd have had to walk past me but I couldn't spot her anywhere. I was calling her name and she wasn't answering.

Just as I got really panicked I spotted her. She was hiding under a railing of clothes thinking it was hilarious. I was so relieved but so cross.

I was the lost child around 3 on an extremely large busy beach in summer.
I remember quite a bit of it, but I'd wandered off from the cafe at the top and was found on the beach. Think I'd been gone around 20 minutes so life guards etc. were involved.

I've found a missing child before, who had just wandered out of the front door which had been left open as her father was going in and out to the car. Easily done, and I know both I and my brother went missing as children.

I believe there's a country where it's a known thing that if a child goes missing a chant starts up like " two year old girl, red T-shirt" and everyone who hears it repeats it, so it spreads wider and wider until the child is found. That seems like such a good simple idea I wonde why it's not more common.

I also think you should teach children their address and phone number as young as possible. Obviously nowadays a mobile phone number is more important, but when I was a child I'm sure we all learnt our home phone number from tiny.

We found an 18month old once!
We lived on a huge housing estate with footpaths running everywhere. He had been on one of the greens with his older( but not much older cousins). This green had a steep slope and I guess they were playing a game. The toddler toddled to the top of it and disappeared. We were out and arrived home to chaos. He had been gone 30 mins.
I had grown up on the estate and knew it like the back of my hand luckily. We crossed 2 roads and found him.
I still think of it every now and again. It would be a nightmare, if a child didn't want to be found they could lead you on a merry dance round there.

Yes, my DD when she was around 4ish in a busy shopping centre on a Saturday afternoon. I was in a clothes shop with her and I looked down and all of a sudden she wasn’t there. I tried to stay calm but after calling her name for a minute or so I still couldn’t find her and started to get very worried. There was a missing child in the national press at the time so the shop and the shopping centre were amazing. Locked the place down straight away. No one could get in or out. Lots of people calling her name.

She was “missing” for around 20 minutes in the end because she could hear people shouting her name and worried she was in trouble so hid in a changing room! An old lady eventually found her and cried and hugged her like she was her own when she found her. I think the missing girl in the press had got into everyone’s psyche.

My daughter "went missing" for a few minutes on holiday in Majorca when she little. She was part of the kids club and was supposed to be being supervised my them at a little disco party early evening while myself and her Dad had a drink at the bar close by on the hotel complex - literally for an hour before we all went for dinner.
It was about 2 weeks after Madeline McCann vanished and DD was exactly the same age and very similar in appearance, the young staff member came to us and asked if she was with us as they couldn't find her. Cue absolute meltdown panic from me as was already irrationally on high alert after Madeline.
She was quickly located having been distracted by a face painter and was standing waiting for her turn in the next bar area- none of the staff had noticed her leaving the disco party. The staff were really panicking as well. The relief when we found her, blissfully unaware waiting for a butterfly face paint!

Needless to say she didn't do anymore activities with the kids club!

My eldest got lost at our local coastal nature reserve. The first I knew of it (she was out with her dad) was when the coastguards called me at home to say they had launched the helicopter so it won't be long till they found her...... I was distraught. We only had 1 car which her dad had taken for their walk along the nature reserve so I had no way of easily getting there. I called all friends and family begging for a lift there while crying my eyes out. About 25 mins later partner called me to say she had been found and I went absolutely nuts that he hadn't actually told me himself. He said he was hoping he would get away with not telling me, but the on ground coastguards had told him they had called to give me an update, so ge had no choice but to fess up.

It has very high cliffs, where they were as well as the sea and I was terrified. My daughter had done exactly the right thing though and had gone to the safe meeting point where the land train was which we had always drummed into her at that location.

I wanted to kill partner when he got home, and I didn't stop hugging my daughter for hours.

I was talking about this to my hairdresser the other day.Her dd went missing for a short period of time at a festival and in her panic she described the clothes she had on totally wrong.
She dresses them the same now for days out so she can have the perfect description if one disappears.Thought it was a great idea tbh.

Yes both of mine! OP don’t beat yourself up. I think it happens to most parents and yes it’s bloody awful.

DS when he was 7. He had never ran off before. We were at my brother’s wedding. It was late and I suddenly couldn’t find him. It was a venue that had woodland, a giant lake etc. I was about two weeks postpartum, so hormones all over the place and hysterical. Wedding was in full swing (people dancing, had a few drinks, music etc) so trying to get people to understand that he was missing was difficult. We found him asleep under a table.

DD at a similar age! She went to the toilet at shopping centre. But then instead of following her brother back to where I was, just wandered off. Found within minutes though.

As a kid (namely a toddler), my mum had me on walking reins most of the time as I was the wanderer/runner. She was a nursery nurse (and owned/ran a nursery!), and a Mum of 4DC, so well-versed in child safety and the antics of kids (but it still happened to her!):
-I broke out of my auntie’s apartment and headed upstairs in the apartment block. A lady found me and brought me back.
-I managed to unbolt front door, and took my younger brother with me, across a busy road. We were found in a neighbour’s garden picking flowers.
-older brother (he’s 15yrs older than me) was meant to be looking after me/younger brother at home. I busted us out of garden, into field where our goats were and locked my little brother in the goat shed. Then I must have went back to playing in garden. Big brother was frantic trying to find little brother. Found him sobbing in his sleep in goat shed.
-at 4, I got lost on an airplane. We were upstairs in first (company Dad worked for paid for families to fly in first). I went to WC , then headed downstairs for some reason, couldn’t find parents, so went crying to an air stewardess. Told her my name, address and phone number. Maybe not helpful on a long haul flight, but at least they knew where we were seated!!!

I was 12 when James Bulger was abducted and murdered and the case just stuck in my head, so when I had kids, I insisted on them having walking reins whilst they were babies/toddlers/preschoolers. Madaleine McCann disappeared when my eldest was a few months old so again that stuck in my head. I love the idea of writing a number on a kid’s arm, or clipping a keyring with an AirTag or something similar to them. Also love the idea of doing a quick photo of the kids so people can easily see what they were wearing.

My DS ran into a lift in a Disney hotel, just as the doors were closing.

To be honest, I can’t remember what happened after - it was about 25 years ago. I remember the sheer, gut-wrenching fear though.

It must have turned out ok, we got him back 😀

DS1-was at legoland with another mum and 6 DC between us. We were both stood at the only exit/entrance of the play thing-kind of a climbing fun house- and somehow he escaped. He was 3 ish and struggled with pronouncing his "S's" so he couldn't really say his own name but was able to provide the info that his teacher was called Mary 😂I was frantic but he had been found panning for gold and was taken quickly to lost children-legoland very hot on the whole thing.

Next time same DC at Whipsnade Zoo. DH stood at the bottom of the slide and all he had to do was collect him when he slid down but somehow missed him.
All I could think was that he had climbed into an enclosure and was eaten by a wild animal!! We found him in about 10 mins but gut wrenching fear whilst we looked. It was all very panicky and chaotic but fine in the end.

Yes, and 17 years later it still gives me the shudders. Local park, 25 minutes gone, had managed to leave the park on her scooter and cross the busy high street. (It was actually Kensington High Street - a LOT of traffic.) An angel disguised as a Filipina nanny found her and bought her back to the park.

I lost my ds in Mothercare when he was about 2 or 3. They had a display of garden toys (playhouses, climbing frames etc) outside at the entrance. He had got out through the automatic sliding doors, and was playing on the display toys which were basically in the car park. I was so cross that the sensors would allow the doors to open for someone as short as a toddler. More cross with myself for not watching him properly, of course.

I take a picture of my children at the beginning of a day out so I can quickly show people what they look like if they're lost.

You can buy wristbands on amazon to put your name and number on too . We use when we go to busy places like Chessington etc

I thought i did once, I was shopping and they were safely at home but I was so used to them being with me I genuinely forgot