Son going on first holiday this weekend. Nervous wreck?

[Cybergirlclair81]

So my 19 year old heads of to the Algarve this weekend, first time he’s been abroad, heading with his cousins. I won’t lie this week I’ve been a mess worrying god knows what I’ll be like when he goes on Saturday.

Hes a sensible lad, doesn’t really drink much, doesn’t really go out tbh more a home bird. But all doesn’t stop me worrying and yes I know need to cut the apron strings, I’ve got a daughter but she’s miss independent and never here, my sons very much a mummy’s boy lol so we’re much closer.

Should I be worried? I’m hoping once he actually does go the worry subsides a bit.

They will be fine, got to let him go at some point.

He’s only going to the Algarve it’s hardly Ibiza. He’s with his cousins, he’s not a big drinker. Worst that will happen is a sun burn.

Yeah I know, furthest I’ve been is Jersey lol so can’t compare. I think this is the beginning of empty nest syndrome, not sure if I’m a fan, too make matters worse I’m off next week on annual leave I didn’t want so plenty of time to be bored

Yeah I know, I’ve done well up until 19, when I was his age I was rarely at home from 16.

Book something nice to do yourself while he’s away, go on a city break and enjoy yourself

I remember this feeling, but he'll be fine! When my DS went to Benidorm with his mates, he sent me a photo of his dinner every day so I'd know he was still alive, and in return I sent him a photo of the cats 😁 He had a marvellous time. I'm sure there were plenty of shenanigans, but I'll never know about them so I didnt waste time worrying. Which is exactly as it should be.

Yeah it’s an uneasiness but he’s been warned I want constant updates

Please don't make the poor lad send his mummy "constant updates" from his first holiday. Have fun, see you when you get back is all you need to say.

Please don’t do this to him! I don’t think having a child who have never been away until they’re 19 is doing well.

You need to not make him responsible for your anxiety.

You are being way too much. Stop. Let go. It’s. It’s not healthy. I am sick to death of this ‘Mums and their sons’ crap.

Make sure he knows to wear condoms. Better an awkward chat than a std

What is it you’re actually worried about?

Please don’t blackmail him with wanting constant updates. He shouldn’t be going away feeling guilty or under pressure.

Even if it extremely hard for you, wave him off with a huge smile and tell him to have a great time.

Keep yourself busy whilst he’s gone and open up to other people if you need to but don’t bother him with your worrying.

DS had a fab time in Portugal at 18 post A levels. If they go out to clubs stick together - as you would at home.

I hear you. My 18 year old is going to Aya Napa with his work friends none of which I know. Just have one chat about sex, drugs etc then leave it otherwise it's seen as nagging and they don't take as much notice. I would ask for one message/photo a day so you know he is ok rather than "constant updates" so it's easier for him to stick to. It's just one of those things you have to let happen and hope for the best.

He'll be fine. The Algarve is very safe.

It’s far harder parenting young adults as you can’t put them on the naughty step.

You don’t show your worry, you are cheery and wave them off. You also grit your teeth if you don’t like their choice of partner or friends. The only time you can intervene is a threat to life, real danger.

One thing I always told my son was to always to check where the deep end in the pool was before diving in.

100% this

I absolutely get what you’re feeling, however when my DD was 18 she set off for a year travelling in Asia, by herself, she got back safe and is now at university!
What helped me was the find your friend on her I phone, I could see where she was without having to constantly contact her.
He will be fine!

Please don’t put that pressure in him. It will make the whole process worse for both of you.

if he forgets to send a message he will get stressed worrying that he’s upset you or ‘in trouble.’
if he forgets to send a message you will get stressed, spiralling as to reasons why he isn’t in touch that day.

Hard as it is, wish him a fab holiday and tell him you can’t wait to hear all about it when he gets home. You could ask that he lets you know when they’ve arrived safely and checked in - but it shouldn’t be a you must do this/that, you must update me at least twice a day, etc.

Please don’t ask the man for constant updates. He’s 19, if he wants to get wasted, do silly things and generally behave like a man-child then now is the time to do it. He’s not a child anymore, he’s a man. Let him get his lads behaviour out of system so when he’s older and he has to act like a grown up, he’ll have a better chance of doing so.

And has good travel insurance, a must too

he’s been warned I want constant updates

When you were 19 (or even 16) would you have wanted to send 'constant updates' to your mother?

Sorry to read about this and hope something helps reduce this excessive worry.

Your cousins are known to you, it is not a holiday with people unknown to you.