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Original poster

Terrified of earning money!

28 replies

Healthynow · 16/04/2025 07:42

Mad I know. I’m a freelancer and I’ve somehow got massive mental blocks about advertising to get more work. I even have trouble sending invoices for work I have done.
something to do with a belief that I’ll make people disappointed or angry. Or that they’ll hate my stuff (they dont) Or that I’ll never earn enough to make it worthwhile.
so I hide instead. And I really do need to be earning.
please help!

OP posts:
TheHappyBug · 16/04/2025 07:44

I think maybe you would be better suited to a salaried role, is there anything salaried in the industry you are currently working in?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 16/04/2025 07:45

I agree with the poster above - remove this stress from your life. Get a job where you get paid a salary.

SBHon · 16/04/2025 07:45

I felt exactly the same. A bit like imposter syndrome. You’ve just got to do it to get over it (or go to therapy maybe)… the more you do it the less you’ll feel that way. Push through!

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 16/04/2025 07:48

You need an employer.
If your clients don't like your work, they will tell you, or you won't get repeat business. But not to invoice makes you appear either scatty or far too rich to require payment. Also it fucks with their accounting, because the payment would be sitting in their potential outgoings pile (i know that's not the formal term!)
As for not advertising...what do you mean? Are you on Linkedin or other B2B contact site? Ask previous clients for testimonials to put on your website. You do have a website I take it...

Ratisshortforratthew · 16/04/2025 07:50

This is mad. Take the emotion out of it - you’re a business providing a service which costs money. That’s literally all there is to it. I agree with suggestions to get some therapy and a salaried role though as this is not, to say the least, a conducive attitude to freelancing

DenholmElliot11 · 16/04/2025 07:51

Don't do something that terrifies you! Just get an employed position.

Viviennemary · 16/04/2025 07:52

Sound like you are not managing self employment. Get a job with a regular income and maybe try and do some freelance work as well. The current set up isn't feasible at all. Or maybe have some counselling to get over this mental blockage re charging customers.

AlmosttimeforChristmas · 16/04/2025 08:02

OP I’d get some therapy to talk this through properly. It sounds debilitating! Yes you can seek a salaried position but it won’t be overnight and in the meantime it sounds like you need to spend some time looking into your sense of self-worth

feelingrobbed · 16/04/2025 08:06

Read you are a badaass at making money. Also get rich lucky bitch

Divebar2021 · 16/04/2025 08:30

It’s not personal OP. When a client engages you they’re entering into a business relationship where there is an expectation that you will charge and provide a service. When you negotiate anything to do with the service whether it’s delivery time or fee it’s not personal. If the client asks for amendments or criticises the work it’s not personal. I think you need a mentor to give you a push in the right direction.

Frozenpeace · 16/04/2025 12:50

Can you find a mentor?

RiceKrispiesSnap · 16/04/2025 13:17

Body double! Ask somone to sit with you, even if they’re doing their own task. It can help you to tackle things you don’t want.

If you know someone who is in a similar line or work do your invoicing together.

If the budget allows pay someone to do your invoicing.

I too find this part of the job very difficult. I think if other don’t struggle with this too they won’t understand.

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 13:22

Healthynow · 16/04/2025 07:42

Mad I know. I’m a freelancer and I’ve somehow got massive mental blocks about advertising to get more work. I even have trouble sending invoices for work I have done.
something to do with a belief that I’ll make people disappointed or angry. Or that they’ll hate my stuff (they dont) Or that I’ll never earn enough to make it worthwhile.
so I hide instead. And I really do need to be earning.
please help!

Most people don’t like sending invoices for some reason but it needs to be done

It seems to be wrapped up in your self worth, you somehow don’t think your work is worth paying so much for…..you need to get over this and just send them out

RiceKrispiesSnap · 16/04/2025 13:36

Body double! Ask somone to sit with you, even if they’re doing their own task. It can help you to tackle things you don’t want to do.

If you know someone who is in a similar line of work do your invoicing together.

If the budget allows pay someone to do your invoicing.

I too find this part of the job very difficult. I think if other people don’t struggle with this too they won’t understand your feelings.

You could try sending out a breakdown of pricing or a guild to what to expect before you start the project. It would help to de personalise the billing process.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 16/04/2025 13:37

Outsource it.
Get a virtual PA to issue and chase invoices and hire someone to do your marketing.

madaboutpurple · 16/04/2025 14:23

Your clients use your services so I presume they think they are getting value from you .You need paying and your clients need to pay you.

MinkyWales · 16/04/2025 14:35

I also hated this, so I got our bookkeeper to do it.

Ponderingwindow · 16/04/2025 14:37

Why are you a freelancer? A large part of the job is self-marketing. Sometimes it’s better to just get a salaried position.

financialcareerstuff · 16/04/2025 14:54

I’m like you OP, which is why I’ve never been freelance. Even submitting my expenses makes me feel guilty. I’ve had therapy about it which helped a bit…… it might be worth thinking back to early money interactions you had, or experiences of you being reprimanded for asking for something, or for taking the spotlight….. chances are you got slapped down for those things as a child…. Understanding isn’t as easy as overcoming it…. But it’s the first step…I think people telling you to seek employment are a bit defeatist, but for sure you need to tackle this fast if you want to succeed as an entrepreneur. The other option is to partner with someone who loved the marketing/sales side, while you can be the quiet creative/expert in the background . Good luck!

Bumdishcloths · 16/04/2025 18:16
  1. if you don’t invoice, you look wildly unprofessional
  2. people will take advantage of you not invoicing them and you’ll never get paid because they won’t chase you
  3. you do not sound at all suited to self employment if you’re a) averse to marketing and b) averse to invoicing

As PP have said, find an employed position or JFD the invoicing and advertising

workingtowards · 16/04/2025 22:52

Can I ask what you do?

Original poster
Healthynow · 17/04/2025 14:48

I’m a tutor to groups of adults. I think it’s the lack of a partner/ someone to bounce off that I struggle with - it’s taken me weeks to put together a timetable- will people prefer the morning or afternoon, should I structure classes like this or like that. Should I charge per class or per block, am I too cheap or too dear etc etc etc etc.

OP posts:
Hastentoadd · 17/04/2025 14:58

Healthynow · 17/04/2025 14:48

I’m a tutor to groups of adults. I think it’s the lack of a partner/ someone to bounce off that I struggle with - it’s taken me weeks to put together a timetable- will people prefer the morning or afternoon, should I structure classes like this or like that. Should I charge per class or per block, am I too cheap or too dear etc etc etc etc.

Compulsive overthinking
You sound life you have no belief in yourself / confidence in your opinions or intelligence and therefore question / doubt all your thoughts and actions.

You need to force yourself to believe that your opinions / actions are as valid as anyone else,

Hastentoadd · 17/04/2025 15:00

Bumdishcloths · 16/04/2025 18:16

  1. if you don’t invoice, you look wildly unprofessional
  2. people will take advantage of you not invoicing them and you’ll never get paid because they won’t chase you
  3. you do not sound at all suited to self employment if you’re a) averse to marketing and b) averse to invoicing

As PP have said, find an employed position or JFD the invoicing and advertising

Agreed, self employment doesn’t suit everyone,

CherryBlossomPie · 17/04/2025 15:18

Is it really not just because advertising and invoices are tedious parts of being a freelancer? Coupled with a little bit of imposter syndrome.

I get mental blocks about admin. The brain will tell you all sorts of shit - can't do it because I'm not organised enough, struggle to get motivated etc. No it's just because they are fucking boring without the immediate reward.

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