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Being poked at during conversation

54 replies

slonestranger · 15/04/2025 14:22

I have a family member who pokes the person she's speaking to in order to emphasise a point. I have told her not to do it to me (and try to maintain distance when she's talking now) but she got all affronted and still hasn't stopped.

To explain, it's like a tactile exclamation mark in her case, that's the only way I can understand it.

Is this normal? Do other people use prods while conversing? I'm baffled.

What other weird behaviour do people display?

OP posts:
TerracottaBowl · Today 12:05

slonestranger · 15/04/2025 14:57

It's actually my Mother in Law and she lives with my family. It can be tricky as she does take offence and struggles with boundaries despite being pulled up on it.

She thinks of herself as the head of the household which is a very cultural view.

My MIL thinks the same. It doesn’t mean I need to go along with her delusion, though.

MoonlightMemories · Today 15:42

fluffyblanky · 15/04/2025 19:05

Reminds me of a friends episode

Maybe the one where Joey dates a girl who punches him "playfully" all the time but doesn't realise she's actually hurting him? 🤣

Honestly this would drive me up the wall - I really like and need my own space and would feel like she's violating it every time she prodded me! One poster suggested a bucket of water...what about a small water pistol instead, squirt her every time she pokes you until you've hopefully managed to condition her not to do it? 😆

IncompleteSenten · Today 15:47

My husband does similar. He doesn't jab, he taps his hand onto my arm or shoulder.
I tell him to stop. He always apologises but then does it again. It's like he doesnt realise he's doing it until I tell him to stop bloody tapping at me.

I suggest you maintain a literal arms length. When she's talking to you, step back until she is out of reach. Don't be subtle about it.

slonestranger · Today 17:17

IncompleteSenten · Today 15:47

My husband does similar. He doesn't jab, he taps his hand onto my arm or shoulder.
I tell him to stop. He always apologises but then does it again. It's like he doesnt realise he's doing it until I tell him to stop bloody tapping at me.

I suggest you maintain a literal arms length. When she's talking to you, step back until she is out of reach. Don't be subtle about it.

Sorry you're going through this with your husband. Why don't people get how annoying it is?

My MIL doesn't stop talking, ever. She's either on the phone, talking to herself or talking at someone. I've got to the point where I ignore her unless she says my name to get my attention.

This means I might get a surprise poke as she walks past.

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