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Original poster

What do you do about FB friends who have died?

51 replies

Eyesopenwideawake · 15/04/2025 10:25

Sadly I've had several friends pass away over the last couple of years, I was notified today of the birthday of someone who died in February 😥

It seems cruel to unfriend them, even though that seems the sensible thing to do.

What do you think?

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 15/04/2025 10:28

I keep them as friends and every now and then I look through their posts and cry. It doesn't sound that healthy now I write it down.

gamerchick · 15/04/2025 10:29

I don't do anything. I wish them a heavenly birthday and remember the date they died and post to acknowledge it. It means more to their loved ones than you know.

Thefunnel · 15/04/2025 10:29

I leave it and say a silent happy birthday when it comes around.

peppermintcrumble · 15/04/2025 10:30

gamerchick · 15/04/2025 10:29

I don't do anything. I wish them a heavenly birthday and remember the date they died and post to acknowledge it. It means more to their loved ones than you know.

I think OP means do you delete them or keep them as friends.

I generally keep them, because if I unfriend them and regret it I don’t think I could get them back.

SummerDaytoNight · 15/04/2025 10:30

Can’t you hide or pause them? To stop seeing them?

esme19 · 15/04/2025 10:31

Nothing, I keep them as a friend and take comfort in being able to have a look on their page when missing them x

ArchibaldBoyd · 15/04/2025 10:32

Their relatives are supposed to change their page to a Remembering X one, which is supposed to stop notifications etc.

I can't delete them.

Sevenandahalf · 15/04/2025 10:34

ArchibaldBoyd · 15/04/2025 10:32

Their relatives are supposed to change their page to a Remembering X one, which is supposed to stop notifications etc.

I can't delete them.

My DM still has a Facebook and I think I could probably log in and delete it as I reckon I would be able to figure out her password. To get it made onto a remembrance page seems a bit....awkward. I could also get it deleted by Facebook but I need to send her death certificate.

LegoLandslide · 15/04/2025 10:34

I unfriend, as a deceased friend of mine was hacked and lots of racist stuff shared on their account. Appreciate that may just be a one off but it was really upsetting.

Sevenandahalf · 15/04/2025 10:37

LegoLandslide · 15/04/2025 10:34

I unfriend, as a deceased friend of mine was hacked and lots of racist stuff shared on their account. Appreciate that may just be a one off but it was really upsetting.

Yes my brother in laws Facebook has just turned into a spam account

Catopia · 15/04/2025 10:52

I get that this would have been particularly fresh and hard. However, I have always kept them on there as friends, and welcome the reminders. I take a moment to think of them, let them know I love and miss them and update them on my life.

sonoonetoldyoulifewasgonnabethisway · 15/04/2025 10:53

unfriend

Sourisblanche · 15/04/2025 10:54

I have them there to remember on their birthdays.

Same with my mum who I lost last year, she’s still on a the WhatsApp group we had with my dc. I like to think she can somehow keep up with our news….

CallmeJim · 15/04/2025 11:01

I found out a friend had passed away when I posted “happy birthday 🎁 🎂” style message and had a barrage of “YES. IN HEAVEN”. Left underneath. Felt a right twat.

EffortlesslyDecluttering · 15/04/2025 11:07

I leave them, but it does seem a bit strange because you get those notes that say things like "Jane Smith likes Marks and Spencer" which jar slightly.

notatinydancer · 15/04/2025 11:27

I noticed the other day a friend who’s died - her Facebook account has gone. Her family must have deleted it ?

Mikart · 15/04/2025 12:00

I unfriend. I also cross out in my address book.

GeorgianaM · 15/04/2025 12:06

One of my lovely school friends died and her son agreed to keep her Facebook open. She had friends from all over the world and we from time to time think of her and will put a message of a memory with her or a song on her page and others will join in and we will have a smile or laugh remembering things she said or did etc.

We remember her birthday and at Christmas.

She has died and will never see any of those messages but her Facebook page draws her many loved ones together to reminisce about her and times gone past.

It's not morbid, it's continuing to celebrate and remember a much dearly lovely lady.

Tourmalines · 15/04/2025 12:06

I leave them . They meant something to me .

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2025 12:15

I keep them, I think its nice when I see old comments etc pop up on my timeline
My Mum used to comment on all my posts, in fact a lot of them were there for her so she could see what we were doing etc.
She died 2 years ago now and it makes me smile when I see a comment from her
If it upsets you you can remove them but I wouldn't

Cattenberg · 15/04/2025 12:16

I have one Facebook friend who’s no longer with us and it’s nice to remember him. It’s poignant to see his birthday reminders, but I’ve completely lost track of how old he would be now. He had quite a chaotic life and celebrated his 42nd birthday twice (the first-time round, he very belatedly realised that he was only 41 😆).

Colinthedaxi · 15/04/2025 12:28

I unfriend. A friend who died several years ago had many happy birthday posts recently and I did think “don’t you know?”

thischarmimgwoman · 15/04/2025 12:43

Can’t you just unfollow rather than unfriend?

Trumptonagain · 15/04/2025 12:44

I don't unfriend..
I 'take a break' on their profile page and that way I have to search their page if I want to read messages or see any memories, they don't pop up on my page that way.

Trumptonagain · 15/04/2025 12:46

Colinthedaxi · 15/04/2025 12:28

I unfriend. A friend who died several years ago had many happy birthday posts recently and I did think “don’t you know?”

Not something I do but lots of people still write on pages of someone that's died...it's their way of keeping memories alive.