What do you do about FB friends who have died?

[Eyesopenwideawake]

Sadly I've had several friends pass away over the last couple of years, I was notified today of the birthday of someone who died in February 😥

It seems cruel to unfriend them, even though that seems the sensible thing to do.

What do you think?

This is one aspect I hate about social media. I’ve even changed my own account as I had so many at one point. That’s not a suitable solution and if I delete it makes me feel crap but what do we do? Difficult and gets worse the older we are.

I think facebook sometimes cull them after a while. One of my friend's was taken down which made me really sad. I was glad I had screenshotted a couple of her final posts so that I can still read them and think of her.

I can't even bring myself to delete my deceased partners phone number from my mobile.

I still have my Mum as a FB friend- she died nearly 12 years ago. I look at her page every so often. I still have her and my Dad’s numbers in my phone too (he is also long gone).

Yes, my aunt's account disappeared after several years (died in 2017).

I like the idea of remembering them on their birthdays, thank you to the posters who suggested that.

I’ve appointed dd as my memorial page person

My brother lives in my deceased parents’ house. They died nearly 12 years ago and until about 5 years ago, he was still receiving Christmas cards for them, often with those ‘round robin’ letters- you know the kind of thing: ‘Pete has run two marathons this year, while I’ve been busy with the garden! Oscar is thriving at University and Alicia is having a great time building an ape sanctuary in Costa Rica on her gap year!’ The senders obviously hadn’t noticed they’d stopped receiving Christmas cards from Mum and Dad some years before- too busy thinking about all the things they need to brag about in their Christmas letters! 😂

We've kept my brother's page and I'm so glad we did. It took me nearly a year before I could look at it, but now I like to look from time to time and shed a tear.

I leave them. Have lots of people who have passed away on mine. Seems disrespectful to remove them.

I've still got my entire WhatsApp conversation with my deceased dm..

A mutual friend from years ago sent my late brother a birthday message with a drunken face, a balloon and a party popper. I had to message him and tell him that my brother had died the month before, he was horrified that he'd forgotten and blamed it on still feeling rough from having covid.
My brother would have laughed his head off, it was the sort of thing he would have done

Cruel to unfriend? Cruel to who? Theyre dead.

dont mean you forget about them

Agree that you do nothing.

Sometimes their families take over the pages and make them a memorial but mostly they just sit dormant.

I find the birthday reminders, whilst obviously sad, a reminder to spend a little quiet time thinking about them on that day.

I have noticed that on some pages, especially those of younger friends who passed, people have continued to leave occasional messages, e.g. when they've found an old pic of them together or heard a song that reminded them of them. I guess a SM page is a bit like a grave site in that it is a place friends and family can visit to remember lost loved ones.

Yes I still have this with my partner too! If I delete his number this would perhaps be lost - all the tunes he sent me and nice little messages.

I hope we never lose these conversations - we must be the first generation to have these whatsapp conversations with our relatives.

Just be aware that eventually her phone number will be reallocated - and you might get some utterly random person participating in your chat…

I have kept my Mums mobile going, I paid for it anyway and EE just added her number to my others. It costs me about £10 pm and I like to look back at our texts sometimes.
The last thing she said to me was to send her a photo of a certain place we were going and we only visited the day she died, in fact I found out when we were on our way there. I took the photo and sent it to her anyway.
I will probably close her account soon, I have her ipad somewhere too with her FB and emails on

You’re not the only one don’t worry. My cousin died and six months later on his birthday there were loads of “happy birthday, have a great day!” type posts from people who obv didn’t know he’d died.

My dad wasn't on Facebook but I'll never delete him from my phone.

You just prompted me to look at the fb page of a friend who died maybe 10 years ago. The last post on his page is from 2022 and is some spam weight loss rubbish But the other posts are memories and comments to him, like, "Say hi to my dad in heaven," which is kind of nice.

My sister died.
My Mum has her FB login, and accidentally replies to posts sometimes when logged in as her.
She simply cannot comprehend how distressing this can be to people.
I’m also aware that some people think it’s me.

I don’t like FB much, and avoid.

Unfriend. Life is for those living.

I have a friend whose last fb status was that he was going down for surgery and see you on the other side, but he never woke up. He was only 35. That makes me so sad every time I see it, made worse by people who keep wishing him a happy birthday telling him to have a good day every year
I have unfriended people who I didn’t know very well who passed away though.

I unfriend. To me it feels ghoulish to keep them.

But I understand why others do.

each to their own

That's the best solution. It's totally creepy and inappropriate to keep it open as before. Fair enough to turn it into a remembrance page though.

My mum died 15 years ago. I still can’t delete her number.