I want to change my name but i’m worried

orangeolivebranch · 2025-04-09T06:05:21+00:00

I’m 32 and I’m just worried about always having to show a deed poll every time I need something doing like important paperwork. I also work in retail and the workers are gossipy/bitchy and they will definitely think i’m odd for changing my name. I’m worried how this will come across at work. I also have a baby brother who is 3 years old will the change be confusing for him or will he pick it up easily? Also it’s just plain embarrassing to keep telling friends/family members actually I go by this now. Also what if I just regret it? (i’m pretty sure I won’t i’ve always hated my name)

SwanOfThoseThings · 09/04/2025 07:15

Would you have to keep showing the deed poll? Wouldn't you just change everything once, including your main ID, and then it's done? I don't deny that it would be a pain doing that, and you'd probably get odd things popping up that you hadn't changed for years afterwards, but I don't think once you'd done the bulk of things you'd have to keep presenting the deed poll.

If your colleagues are gossipy and bitchy, they'll find things to gossip and bitch about whatever you do, so I wouldn't worry about that Hopefully you won't be working with them for the rest of your life.

Your brother - I assume you wouldn't be 'telling him off' if he made a mistake and would be happy for this to sink in gradually - I don't think his possible 'confusion' is a reason not to do it. My blunt response would be 'he's confused - so what?' - as a young child, many things are confusing, working them out is part of the normal growing up process.

If you regret it - it's not irreversible - you could revert to your former name by revoking the deed poll.

If you want to do it, I say go for it - my only caution would be not to expect too much of it - it's not going to magically change your whole life, but it might make you feel happier and more in control.

Mamofboys5972 · 09/04/2025 07:16

My name has been legally changed 3 times and it's a nightmare. My passports take longer to come back, DBS takes forever. I have to take the documents everywhere with me. All of my legal previous names still exist and they ALL have to be placed onto legal documents. My sons birth certificate for example, says
Mother - Lucy loo, previously known as Lucy cake, previously known as Lucy dress, previously known as Lucy lace 😕
I mean 1 deed poll change will obviously not be as stressful. But I hate the faff on of it all.
So I think it depends on how much you hate your name and if its all worth it for you!
Also mine are surname changes, never changed my forename, so my situation is slightly different. If you really hate it I say go for it, but just be mindful that your original name will never disappear.

Mamofboys5972 · 09/04/2025 07:17

SwanOfThoseThings · 09/04/2025 07:15

Would you have to keep showing the deed poll? Wouldn't you just change everything once, including your main ID, and then it's done? I don't deny that it would be a pain doing that, and you'd probably get odd things popping up that you hadn't changed for years afterwards, but I don't think once you'd done the bulk of things you'd have to keep presenting the deed poll.

If your colleagues are gossipy and bitchy, they'll find things to gossip and bitch about whatever you do, so I wouldn't worry about that Hopefully you won't be working with them for the rest of your life.

Your brother - I assume you wouldn't be 'telling him off' if he made a mistake and would be happy for this to sink in gradually - I don't think his possible 'confusion' is a reason not to do it. My blunt response would be 'he's confused - so what?' - as a young child, many things are confusing, working them out is part of the normal growing up process.

If you regret it - it's not irreversible - you could revert to your former name by revoking the deed poll.

If you want to do it, I say go for it - my only caution would be not to expect too much of it - it's not going to magically change your whole life, but it might make you feel happier and more in control.

No you have to keep the deed poll and use it as proof of name change. Anything like passports etc, she has to present evidence of old name and new name. Very annoying.

urbanbuddha · 09/04/2025 07:19

If you hate your name just change it. Just smile every time you have to correct someone.

Daffodilsarefading · 09/04/2025 07:24

What about using a nickname but not making it official, would that be an option. Lots of my relatives in the past were know by different names to their birth name.
For example a Herbert was always known as Bob.

Velvian · 09/04/2025 07:25

I know 2 people who changed their name since I've known them and I always think of them as their original name.

I'm not really sure how much individuals own their own name. You are your name to other people more than to yourself. I'm not sure it's worth doing.

PlanetOtter · 09/04/2025 08:11

I’ve changed my name by deedpoll and it’s no fuss at all - once I had a new passport I’ve just used that as ID. I don’t know why PP is having to show it so often?

Why do you want to change it OP? Changing your first name is unusual (I assume that’s what you’re planing) and it will take people a while to get used to it

Original poster

orangeolivebranch · 09/04/2025 09:06

PlanetOtter · 09/04/2025 08:11

I’ve changed my name by deedpoll and it’s no fuss at all - once I had a new passport I’ve just used that as ID. I don’t know why PP is having to show it so often?

Why do you want to change it OP? Changing your first name is unusual (I assume that’s what you’re planing) and it will take people a while to get used to it

i just don’t like my name at all and i’ve always wanted to change it since i was young

OP posts:

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 09/04/2025 09:12

I changed my surname by deedpoll 28 years ago. The first time I renewed my passport and the first time I applied for a CRB check it was a pain, but it's never been an issue since. I can't remember the last time I had to produce the document - years ago I think.

Lots of women change their name on marriage and don't have to produce their marriage certificate every time they apply for passports etc, apart from the first time.

I think people might have difficulty with remembering a first name change though. On general conversation with friends and colleagues they refer to us by our first names, so the first name is used far more frequently than the surname.

Runninghappy1 · 09/04/2025 09:12

I know someone who changed their name at about the same age but around 10 years ago. She's still to this day known as 'Mel you know, the one who used to be Belinda'.

Original poster

orangeolivebranch · 09/04/2025 09:18

Runninghappy1 · 09/04/2025 09:12

I know someone who changed their name at about the same age but around 10 years ago. She's still to this day known as 'Mel you know, the one who used to be Belinda'.

Eh I get that but I dont see why I have to fit into society’s expectations like we grow older we discover who we are , we develop an our likes and dislikes, music, movies, clothes, fashion. We wear what clothes are “us” we change our hair the way we want. Why do we have to be stuck with a name we didn’t choose? It all seems a bit backwards. Although I know it will be difficult and some people wont accept it. A part of me thinks “ok so what that says more about them than me” another part of me is like “they’re right”

OP posts:

Mamofboys5972 · 09/04/2025 09:19

PlanetOtter · 09/04/2025 08:11

I’ve changed my name by deedpoll and it’s no fuss at all - once I had a new passport I’ve just used that as ID. I don’t know why PP is having to show it so often?

Why do you want to change it OP? Changing your first name is unusual (I assume that’s what you’re planing) and it will take people a while to get used to it

I use my passport as ID. But when applying for new ID or filling in legal forms and it asks "have you ever been known as a previous name", legally you have to say yes, and then provide evidence of such changes. I dont use them on a daily. But for important matters the old name still exists.

pencilcaseandcabbage · 09/04/2025 09:25

I know 2 people who changed their first names and one who as a teen decided to start using their middle name instead. All are just their new names now and all are very happy with the change. I have no idea about the beaurocracy requirements though.

Original poster

orangeolivebranch · 09/04/2025 09:43

Mamofboys5972 · 09/04/2025 09:19

I use my passport as ID. But when applying for new ID or filling in legal forms and it asks "have you ever been known as a previous name", legally you have to say yes, and then provide evidence of such changes. I dont use them on a daily. But for important matters the old name still exists.

Show quote history

Is it much hassle would you say? or is it simple as ticking a box and announcing my old name or do I have to give my deed pill every time

OP posts:

Teapotters · 09/04/2025 09:45

I think the reactions of colleagues/toddlers shouldn't be a big deciding factor, just a bump to be aware of, they won't be colleagues/toddlers forever!

How people react may depend slightly on what the change is. I had a uni friend change her name from something very normal to something exciting and it came across as very vain eg. from Sarah to Guinevere (not that but close). I think a change in the other direction would have been much more understood though!

Original poster

orangeolivebranch · 09/04/2025 09:56

Teapotters · 09/04/2025 09:45

I think the reactions of colleagues/toddlers shouldn't be a big deciding factor, just a bump to be aware of, they won't be colleagues/toddlers forever!

How people react may depend slightly on what the change is. I had a uni friend change her name from something very normal to something exciting and it came across as very vain eg. from Sarah to Guinevere (not that but close). I think a change in the other direction would have been much more understood though!

Eh my name is super common right now (birth name) there was 6 people in my class at school with my name and the name i’m choosing is common but not as common.

OP posts:

Zeitumschaltung · 09/04/2025 10:01

I changed my name exactly when I changed jobs, so I just started the new job with a new name. Perhaps that’s an option for you, especially if your colleagues aren’t very nice.
It’s not a lot of admin trouble after the initial change, though. I’m not pulling out the deed poll more than once every five or six years.

noidea69 · 09/04/2025 10:01

how prepared are you for people to shrug their shoulders and not bat an eyelid at the fact you've changed your name.

Original poster

orangeolivebranch · 09/04/2025 10:06

noidea69 · 09/04/2025 10:01

how prepared are you for people to shrug their shoulders and not bat an eyelid at the fact you've changed your name.

that would be great if it were true unfortunately i live in a small town with small minded people

OP posts:

BobbleHatsRule · 09/04/2025 10:06

Changed my name 14 years ago and never have an issue. Used deed poll to get passport and driving licence and change bank details but never use it now. Its saved with my will in case I need it again. I had to change my work emails and all log ins. Best to commit so that hour new name is used for every single situation that you come across.

My work email was tagged Bobble (previously known as Bibble) for about 3 months and then never again

DinoLil · 09/04/2025 10:07

I've changed my surname five times and first name three times by deedpoll. It's a faff when you first do it as you have to change all of your documents, but not a big deal afterwards.

Tbrh · 09/04/2025 10:08

Why don't you just change it, but not change it legally? I know lots of people who have done this. Go by the new name for everything, except anything official like booking plane tickets. Basically they use their nickname and most people don't even know they have another name.

Ollybob · 09/04/2025 10:16

I reverted back to my maiden name 10 years after I divorced, tbh depends how much you hate your original name as to how much you want to change as a lot of normal things and accounts just rely on your say so, i.e. loyalty cards, email accounts and the name you go by day to day.

noidea69 · 09/04/2025 10:28

orangeolivebranch · 09/04/2025 10:06

that would be great if it were true unfortunately i live in a small town with small minded people

Show quote history

maybe its not your name that needs to change but where you live? You don't seem particularly happy with those around you.

I just wouldnt put all your hopes in to one basket of changing your name will change your life.

Original poster

orangeolivebranch · 09/04/2025 10:35

noidea69 · 09/04/2025 10:28

maybe its not your name that needs to change but where you live? You don't seem particularly happy with those around you.

I just wouldnt put all your hopes in to one basket of changing your name will change your life.

Show quote history

I don’t think it would change my life I think it would make my life more difficult because people would gossip/judge. However, I just don’t like my name

OP posts: