how to feel joyful again

[lycheetothestar]

I'm feeling extremely low and empty. I'm looking for advice on how I can feel more joyful and happy. It's been such a long time and I just don't know what to do.

My life is very solitary - I'm long term single and I don't have any family. It's something that really gets me down. I'm not sure there is even a solution. I already go out a lot, get out in nature and exercise.

I suppose my diet is poor which can't be helping but it's been such a long time since I felt happy.

A dog is the most joyful and uninhibited giver of love. Rescuing a dog gives a sense of doing something worthwhile. Obviously I know this isn't a workable solution for everyone though.

When I was low I started writing down three things I was grateful for when I went to bed at night. Today's would be

It is sunny and warm
Daffodils are out
I saw a robin this morning

They don't have to be earth shattering - just small things that briefly brighten the gloom. It did make me focus on the small joys and helped.

I think diet does make a huge difference. I suffered from depression in the past and was on SSRI's. When I improved my diet I was able to come off the SSRIs completely and have not had any relapses. Seratonin is made in the gut so improving your microbiome will make a big impact on mood.

Try Actimel drinks plus vitd3.

Is there anything else that works like actimel? but cheaper. So yogurt? find actimel quite pricey

Do you do group or solitary exercise? I find a group dynamic so good just for chatting and getting to know more people. And I’m a grumpy old bastard!

It’s often on Tesco Clubcard which makes it quite a bit cheaper and I’m sure Aldi do their own version.

Get a blood test first. I was feeling awful and found out I had high blood pressure and low iron and vit D. Since taking blood pressure meds, iron tablets and vit D I’ve been feeling back to myself again. I was ready to retire in November and looking for jobs under 16 hours a week as I felt exhausted, depressed and numb. Now I’m enjoying my job again and much happier and more motivated in other aspects of my life. Probably just as well I didn’t get the job I interviewed for!

This and diet.

Find a local walking group, and/or join a regular yoga class( netball/ choir group - insert your interest here). The first week may be challenging, but stick with it and hopefully your life will improve!

Just eat fermented food, it is far better for you and does not contain all the sugar and artificial flavourings that actimel does. A plain Greek yoghurt with some nuts, seeds and berries will be much more beneficial.

What has previously given you joy?
So for me, just me, art, food with spices, jogging, night sky (when clear) and mending fixing things rather than replacing if possible gives me joy.

I go to many exhibitions, paint, draw and have an amazing digital camera which I continue to learn the controls (the instruction manual is huge), 5 evenings a week, food is either Asian, South American or Middle Eastern recipes. I do many sewing machine repairs and will happily get the soldering iron out if things split or break.

But this is all personal, what has given you joy before? Do you like clothes, would you make or knit your own?

What food gives you joy, get a good recipe book (research look at reviews ask around) or borrow from library and copy recipes and master your favourite cuisine.
Do you want to care for something? Would a pet within your space, time and budget be an option?

Would you consider becoming an extra in tv, there is a middle aged woman who is the most requested extra in tv, which is cool?

Local comedy?

written word or poetry?
board games?
chess?
playing the oboe?
netball?

There is no answer to this, just to push any interest you have further.

I hate social media but if you can find FB groups that are special interest you might find joy and companionship there.

I do have a dog, I go to the gym twice a week with another person. I think I probably need to have a blood test - I reckon I am deficient in a few things and my diet is horrendous.

I think I've lost my sense of purpose. I need to lose a good two stone and today I will focus on just eating healthier and some of the excellent suggestions here.

I love sewing and playing board games - but I find sewing very expensive as I'm not that good and wanted to go to classes. None of my friends are interested in board games. I'm quite poor at the moment and a lot of the things I love doing seem costly.

I already do a lot of free things but I do seem to be in a long funk. My friend reckons I have dysthymia which might be true but I also think I have a lot going on which has made me sad for a long time. I've done years of therapy and I think it's helped me as much as it can. It probably is up to me now to make the best of my life; I just don't want to carry on like this for the next few decades.

You say your life is solitary, is that the source? Are you lonely?
What would your ideal be? If that’s unrealistic you need to think of what you can do, I.e the next best thing.
life can be tough and relentlessly so, but please know that life is changing all the time and often it’s only when we look back that we can see clearly.
Think of finding joy in the oridinary and really relish. For example. If you like a cup of tea - make it a ritual where you sit and drink tea and enjoy and savour the drinking of the tea. Try and appreciate the tiny pleasures that we often take for granted.
good luck.

I agree - switch up your diet dramatically and reassess how you feel in 2 weeks/1 month/3 months/6 months.

Yes, I'm very lonely. I think I miss a meaningful relationship and I don't have family so I feel very alone and just sad all the time but I've felt like this for years.

Yes, I'll start today with my diet and re-assess in 1 month.

I think it's like a muscle that you haven't used for a long time. Now you need to build it up again and practise using it.

Start small - when you notice something nice really 'lean in' to it. "This is nice. I am enjoying this." And I mean small - clean sheets, a nice smell, your dog being cute.

And yes to vitamin D. It's the only supplement where I've felt a tangible difference. (In the UK we are recommended to take it from Oct to Mar anyway so if yyou're spending time outside you might not need it now.)

For me, my joy comes from knowing Jesus. Yes I can feel eyes rolling but it's absolutely true. I have rubbish health and am housebound but honestly I've never felt more joyful since I reignited my faith and began attending online Church and having fellowship with believers, along with Bible study time. You can take all the supplements in the world (I do!) change your diet (I have!) had lots of hobbies (certainly been there, done that) but nothing has given me the joy and peace that faith does.

I think it only comes from social interaction and being busy, personally. Humans aren't solitary creatures. Do you have a job where you're around colleagues a lot? Do you volunteer at any community groups?

Rather than looking for official volunteering opportunities, I'd Google for local community groups or clubs which are less formal and more likely to have people dropping in and out. E.g gardening group, craft group etc

This. Yes you can eat better, drink yakult and be thankful for tea but you’ve identified what it is yourself. I would try to add in social activities. I do t want to press if it’s painful so feel free to ignore but are you far from family or they are not around is that anything can be solved? I don’t have family due to background of DV and yes it’s a very hard cross to bear in life, so I feel for you op.

Try an ahahuasca retreat.

How about online scrabble or chess in the evenings?

yes it’s virtual but they are the same games and free?

or pick up a jigsaw for not a lot in a charity shop and lose yourself in the puzzle with the radio on

or just after a walk, at least in the summer, go to a park with a bkanket and sit and read, being around people not necessarily with them might start to bring joy

learn to juggle, then juggle in the park someone is bound to talk to you

I think "joyful" is a big ask.

Thanks!