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Should boys start School later than girls?

60 replies

senmed · 04/04/2025 14:57

In the aftermath of the whole Adolescence show and the current concern for boys and men I listened to some experts on a podcast talk about how to support young men. One thing that was mentioned was how girls mature faster than boys and that women's brain development is around 18 months ahead of males and as a result boys should be held back a year from starting primary school. So in that case girls would start school at approximately 5 and boys would start at 6 years old, I am assuming in the same cohort.

I'm not sure about this, surely it this would likely cause a massive disadvantage to girls and leave them dealing at a younger age with boys who are older by a year or more than them all though school. There was also the suggestion that school is designed to advantage girls because in school you need to sit quietly, facing the front, put your hand up, be quiet and well behaved and that we need to redesign schools to make them work for boys. This kind of thing always annoys me when I hear it because even back in time when most children were not educated but the sons of the wealthy were educated in classrooms this was the set up which was designed for boys, to sit in a classroom at your desk and work. I also resent the implication that all girls are one way and all boys are another.

I myself was the youngest in my class at 4 when I started School which did cause me some issues. I struggled with having to sit all day, I was always someone who learned by doing and so I excelled more at art, music and ballet until I got to high school where I began to do well academically. There were certainly plenty of boys in my class from primary who had no issue sitting quietly in class and doing their work.

I know there is an issue, part of it is the lack of good opportunities for non academic boys, a lot of that is also down to the fact that wages have not kept up with the cost of living. Modern tech and addictions can be destructive and harmful to both boys and girls but in different ways. I do want boys to be helped but its difficult to listen to this kind of thing and not hear "boys are falling behind and girls are doing better so we need to make things harder for girls so boys can do better again".

Surely their is a better way of doing this?

The expert in the podcast also seemed to suggest that little girls even though they faced more trauma in childhood were less affected by it long term than boys were. That girls were mostly "dandelions" which can thrive anywhere under any conditions but that boys were more likely to be "orchids" who need special care and attention to thrive. Forgive me if I call bullshit on that one.

OP posts:
Fioratourer · 04/04/2025 22:02

I think the education system needs an overhaul so under 7’s are learning through play more, less pressure, better mental health I would hope. Boys struggle to sit still often, our school system isn’t working. Should anyone have to go to school at just 4 not really. Not all girls are ready either so it needs to be fair. Girls just hide it better not in a good way.

Hoardasurass · 04/04/2025 22:08

W0tnow · 04/04/2025 21:22

I mean socially though. Not physically.

It's the physical changes during puberty that cause the brain maturation that drives the social maturation.
However if you look at the way girls are socialised almost from birth to be quite, sit nicely, be pretty and subsevant vs the way boys are socialised to be ruff and tumble, to think of themselves and winning at everything (on a societal level rather than individually) it explains many of the differences. With girls were almost trained to be prepared for school especially with the expectation of society that good girls are quite, thoughtful and obedient, while boys are supposed to be brave, tough and commanding (often forceful would be a better discrption) which is basically the opposite of what is expected in school which puts boys at a disadvantage.
There are many studies about the way boys are treated vs girls that look in depth about how boys are favoured and prioritised and how girls are disadvantaged because of it but in this instance societal pressures/norms favour girls. I wonder if we should change the school system or how we treat children and what is expected of them

BlondiePortz · 04/04/2025 22:26

Maybe if parents parented more and put children before themselves maybe the film wouldn't be needed, maybe people should stop putting it on to schools?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TizerorFizz · 04/04/2025 22:33

How do you learn to read snd write through play? Why do we think we aren’t any good at education when, in fact, we are doing pretty well? Why should bright children not be able to read if they are ready? Loads of Scandinavian parents just get on and teach DC themselves. It’s a myth these dc don’t read until 7. My DDs Swedish friend could read at 6 because he wanted to so he was helped to read.

ThisPinkBee · 04/04/2025 22:47

ScarletWitchM · 04/04/2025 15:00

I don’t think boys should start later than girls as that would just not work. But i do think teenagers should start school day at 11am not before 9am as their circadian rhythms are set to wake later. Unfortunately we have a blanket approach to education which was set in the 1800’s and based on banking hours

100% this. In America when they bought in breakfast clubs, behaviour got worse, mental health conditions went up and road accidents where young people were driving rocketed. It's in the book by scientist (forget his name) Why We Sleep.

WhitegreeNcandle · 04/04/2025 22:48

Not sure about the points you’ve put forwards. However, my DS is at an all boys school as it was the best place to support his additional needs. I was nervous about this as I thought it old fashioned and wouldn’t do him any good as real life is not like that.

However, he is thriving and it’s because they just know boys. He’s not overshadowed by girls who are just so much more together than him at he same age. He has a lot of sport and practical subject. But the best of all is that he’s still in the junior school in Y7 and doesn’t move to the senior school till Y9 in the old traditional prep system. Those two years are just giving him that extra time to mature.

frozendaisy · 05/04/2025 08:57

Boys are starting to out perform girls in STEM subjects at GCSE now though.

Perhaps there is more family support and valuing of education? Or many now want to work in computers, especially games, it’s a huge industry with many jobs. And you need maths for this.

I think family attitude to education is more influential than anything else.

frozendaisy · 05/04/2025 08:58

If adults read for pleasure around kids it has an enormous influence.

Loveduppenguin · 05/04/2025 09:02

Yeah, I’m in Ireland and they can start any time before the age of six. They usually start around five but some started at four. It’s up to the parents. In my DD’s class the youngest is 11yrs 8mths and the oldest is 13yrs 1mth. No big deal…

clinellwipe · 05/04/2025 13:15

I don’t know what the answer is but I know I’m incredibly grateful my September 2021 DS doesn’t started school until 2026 because there is no way he’s mature enough now to sit down at a desk and listen most of the day. He’s a border collie and needs to be outside burning off energy as much as possible

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