For those on their own or simply don't care... Mother's Day! Again. I know!

[TheBuffetInspector]

I'll go first... Me... Me! It's all about me, because I'm a mother!!

So... 🤣 I simply give no shits as I've always been a single parent to a now 28 year old (DS) and a now 16 year old (DD).

To be fair to DD bless her, she's always written something, all gushing, hearts and flowers and it brings me to tears.

However there has been many a year that, in spite of her prep, I've been sat downstairs catching up on Saturday nights TV when she wanders down lunchtime-ish, looking for some food and a drink.
Off she pops back upstairs, it could be another 2 hours before I hear the inevitable "Shit! Sorry Mum! Coming now! Would you like a cup of tea?!"
"No thank you, I have gin."

But the thought was always there, during the build up and advertising ❤️

My son, however takes it to another level and then some.
Previously I've had - "Mum, can I borrow a fiver please?"... 🙄 For what, I wonder?
Hand over £5.
Baring in mind he was an adult by this stage... (I'm thinking card and daffs, I don't ask for much).

To My Wonderful Step Mum on Mother's Day.
With Step crossed out 😂
£1.35
No daffs.

"Yeah sorry, by the time I remembered, that was all that was left"
Uh-huh.
"and the rest was bus fare"

It's pretty much legendary now 😂 do I mind? Of course not. You can only blame the parent really.

Actually to be fair, he did take me and his little sister out one Mother's Day. We went to KFC and then to a sports bar place and played darts 😂😂

I wouldn't change a thing. I know they love me.
It's not like I'd write on an open internet forum and tell everyone about their little foibles!

Okay,

Please tell me I'm not alone 😂

@gillefc82

Look what you started 🤣

No, I wouldn't recommend them. They're all very Jilly Cooper.

No they're not, I'm being a git. They are brilliant!

Ooops, sorry! 🤣🤣

I’ve already looked them up on Amazon and added a few to my kindle wish list, so no pressure but they better be good!! 😂

I do hope there’s no swear words in them though…..👀😉

Ah fuck, did you read that @JDKirk ?

A new customer, no swearing though.

@gillefc82 I'm sure you can get edited versions 😉🤬

I'm having the best day ever 🤣

@RamsestheDamned

I saw this and thought of you...

https://jdkirk.com/the-bob-hoon-insult-generator/

I'll just give it a quick whirl...

Goodness me!

I don’t think the edited versions would be all that long, though…

Bit late to the party but this is me as well op, lone parent to a 15 year old and no family so if he doesn’t remember it just doesn’t happen. Memorable past year gifts have included a dairy milk with a square missing and many years of doing nothing so I had low expectations this year. However by some miracle he approached this morning with a gift wrapped in a paper shop bag, taped with medical tape, and inside was a lovely smelling set of wax melts he picked up during a school trip last week- miracles do happen!

Happy Mothers day to everyone here in the same boat, the love is there even if the gift isnt

Chapter 1.

The end.

It's never too late!

How has your day been so far?

Sorry - late edit!

I received a mug from dyslexic ds one year that had “mam” rather than “mum” one year. (We live down south in “mum” territory) I had to brief his siblings not to point out the error he made (one of them in particular loves to correct and be right) Ive also had a grandma card from him and his sibling that told him to cross out the grand before I got the wrong idea.

Ahhh @LordBummenbachsMagnificentBalls
You edited and updated! That's lovely. He's clearly been thinking ahead and put some thought in ❤️

Good lad!

🤣 Briliant!

Yeah, I'm in proper mUm territory.

Haha! Love the edited cards!

I was quite happy that I'd from both kids this morning by 9. I'd already spoken to my Mum...
Then phone pinging... Granddaughters Mum which was lovely.
Then ping... (what now?)
My older brother?? What? 🤣

I prefer the extended remix.

Curse you @TheBuffetInspector for the recommendation and @JDKirk for writing such an immediately captivating story. I only downloaded the first 3 books on Sunday evening and I’m already half way through book 1.

I’ve decided I’ve no choice but to pull an all-nighter to finish it, which means causing a strop with the other half about his snoring at bedtime so I’m “forced” to remove myself to the spare room to “sleep” (aka binge-kindle until the wee hours in peace)!

I hope you’re proud of yourselves.….🤣😉

I can't speak for @TheBuffetInspector (because I'm frightened of her) but speaking for myself I'm delighted to hear this, @gillefc82

I also appreciate the strategic thinking you're applying so as to get some reading space. Genius.

I suspect my DH would call me an evil genius. Any excuse to practice my supervillain laugh.

Mwuh ha ha. Mwuuuuuhhh hah hah hah!

Sorry, it’s time of the month and I just hoovered up an entire bag of winegums without stopping to chew. I think I may be on a sugar high and I can only apologise - I’m not sure I’m exactly the new type of ‘fan’ you were hoping for! 😂

Generally, I’m only interested in Jelly Baby hooverers, but I’m prepared to make an exception this one time.

Oh, a confectionery purist eh?! I respect that, although I’m more about equality….if the sweet tastes good, I’m eating it! Glad I’m being (reluctantly) accepted into the fold! 😂

Well, that said I’m not a complete animal. Obviously anything liquorice, aniseed or banana flavoured can burn in the fiery pits of hell where they belong! 🤢😂

😂 You'll be hooked now {mention:gillefc82}@gillefc82 no turning back. You'll be effin and jeffin like a navvy soon!

@JDKirk scared of me? Me? Huh.
Do you host shoddy buffets? If so...

I'd forgotten how heart wrenching some of the storyline is. I'm trying not to write a dissertation of spoilers, it's very difficult for me.

Have you done our lad justice yet, or have you been too busy faffing on Mumsnet?!

Edit: I've no idea what I've done to your username @gillefc82 hey ho.

I'm on A Death Most Monumental now. Heroics on the viaduct. Haven't spotted any mistakes 😉

Yet.

@JDKirk Scaredy pants. You invented Mister Whisper and that did get to me. Right here thumps chest

I didn't really thump my chest, I'm not Tarzan.
I did though, one hand, one fist. For Benjamin.
Shut those thoughts down. Dirty boy, he's no in the mood.
That said, I've witnessed the future magazine puzzle sharing.

I'm travelling up to see a friend who grew up in London, randomly moved to Great Yarmouth with her kids. Realised it was all drugs n shit, so relocated to Tarbert. It's the obvious move.
They're now in Cambletown.

I'm travelling from the Midlands on my own. No problem (inner Hoon), up to Glasgow but rather than get straight on the bus and enjoy the view of Loch Ness, I'm now going to to take my time and take in some sights, I think
I'd love to see the Delgados again from Chemikal records, but the office seems to be on an industrial estate.
My romantic mind had me knocking, brass knocker (shush) on an old world weary, heavy wooden door. Concealed within a secret Glasgow side street.

So, that's all bollocks then. I'll probably trip over a few skag heads and ask the bus driver nicely, if I need to pay again.

I've never been to Scotland.

I don't know whether to be afraid, or send a warning!

I just saw this @JDKirk and it did make me chuckle somewhat.

2 reviews! And neither were me.

Although I am very tempted now. 3 reviews and you'll be near wetting your knickers!

Sorry.

Do you have cheap dips on a buffet platter? You know the ones - four dips under one cellophane. Need to be chugged quickly before the creaminess melts in to a watery mess. Yeah?

They're my favourite.

I present my wonderful 71 year old Mum
@JDKirk

Or whatever your name is.

I'm not entirely sure it's for her!

This is genius.